An Engagement and My Mile High Pet Peeves

On to today's gist.

I recently made the shortest trip ever to witness one of my oldest friends get engaged. By oldest, I don't mean age; I mean one of the people I've known the longest.

our other friend and I actually did this! 

Now, unlike literally every other millennial out there, I, daughter of my esteemed parents and the most high God, do NOT like traveling. It disrupts my normal. My body fights it. I'm not able to eat and so much is outside my control. The only other thing I dislike more than traveling is flying. And the only think I dislike more than flying is flying on teeny weeny planes. I traveled to Toronto in Canada, which I jokingly refer to as a local flight because the flight is less than an hour. This meant it was a teeny weeny plane.

Anyway, while my reasons for disliking flying vary (such as my trust issues) one of the major reasons is you—yes, you human beings. Homo sapiens. Co-travelers. People suck. Sorry ha. My most recent trip was the perfect reminder that there are all kinds of people on a plane. Let's do a run down shall we?

The stubborn ones:
These stubborn people are the ones who just choose to disobey simple instructions. They break lines; they want to board before their group boards. And they extend this nonsensical behavior to the plane. Why can't you JUST TURN YOUR PHONE OFF when asked to? Why must you wait for the air hostesses to come over to specially remind you? So those two seconds can't be forfeited huh? The woman beside me was telling someone how much she loved them. I was thinking dude, this plane will land before my sister returns to her room from her kitchen (my sister's joke about my trip haha). So put off the darn phone and let's take off. Or the ones that defy the seatbelt sign. UGH. I don't think she eventually turned off her phone till we took off. You think you are cool; no, you are silly.

the city from above, just as we were landing

First time travelers:
Bless all of our souls, because we were all first time travelers at some point. No one was born with travel experience. But not everyone was an annoying first time traveler. We all hate turbulence. What we don't like is when first time travelers scream about how it's their first time flying and don't want to die. And they wail and scream and make the entire turbulence worse. I'm not going to act brand new and pretend the turbulence on my way back wasn't unnerving, it totally was. But man, close your eyes and pray to God or something. Please don't yell and cry and scream. Thank you.


Kids (not toddlers here; I mean teenagers):
These ones are just point blank obnoxious.  On my way to Toronto, a bunch of kids (about 4 of them or so) sat behind me. From the beginning of the one hour and twenty minutes journey till the end, they did not shut up for one second. They were literally screaming in the name of having conversations. They were incredibly chatty and it was the most inconvenient since I was trying to work. At some point, I felt like turning back and sealing their lips shut with scotch tape. But I did not.

Selfish people:
Who are we kidding? All of the above are a subset of this one. And I feel like this just encapsulates everything. Selfish people are obnoxious; they take your seat; take all of the overhead space; push their seats so backwards, it hurts your legs; spill things all over; yell for no reason either at co-passengers or over the phone. They are selfish.

Despite all these, flying is truly amazing. Honestly. Yeah it sucks but its just such a huge reminder that God is awesome. I mean those clouds😍

And the speed with which a plane moves? Only God could have blessed us (human beings) with the aptitude and wisdom to create such a thing.

All that being said, congrats M! I can't believe it. Little us from Emotan dorm 12 (in QC!) are now grown enough to get married and/or start families. God is good.

Love,

I

Friday Reflectons

1.) This video on the perils of big data sent a chill down my spine because it is very plausible and it's something we don't pay enough attention to. And as someone who works with lots of data in a field where they are obsessed with data more than contextual analysis, it's even more worrisome.

2.) See some of the cruel lies parents told their kids to get them to behave. Hahahaha. It's funny because I can't remember my parents telling me any such lies. They were very frank with me, as in, listen if you don't study and pass, your life will probably suck lmao. Or get in there now and make your bed.

3.) I feel quite bad for saying this & will prolly regret it, but isn't it laughable to say Kepner is a character representative of devout Christians? *chuckles*

4.) And no, her recent crisis of faith is not the reason for previous line; we all have had a crisis of faith.

5.) Seriously though, we need representation in form of characters who love God fiercely, and yet are fallible, and are incredibly smart, but still unapologetic about God and life.

6.) Ooohh just remembered one (RE number 2). I hated vegetable stew (efo riro) as a child, so my mom and brother told me if I ate it, I would be strong enough to beat my brother in a fight. loool.

7.) One of my fave bloggers is back, I think.

8.) Articles like this remind me that I still don't [fully] understand some aspects of American culture. The article is quite poignant and incredibly fascinating. As far as I know though, the typical Nigerian parent wants their child to be exponentially greater than them in EVERY aspect. So they do everything to better your life without ever spoiling or over indulging you.

9.) A quiet exodus: why blacks are leaving white evangelical churches.

10.)  Watch Charlize Therone and David Oyelowo teach each other Afrikaans and Yoruba, respectively.

11.) BRB, I'm watching Wonder Woman

International Women's Day 2018

Happy International Women's Day!

See here and here and here for my previous thoughts from previous years.

I don't have that much to say this year, other than there is still so much work to do. And we can't take our foot off the gas pedal now. This is also actually people's lives, so it's more than just being woke for the sake of it. Yes, you say all the right things, but check your biases. More than sharing stuff on social media, how are you making a difference in the lives of women around you? Are you creating a safe space? Investing in women's work? Respecting women? Contributing to opportunities for women? Supporting charities that help girls across the world?

This year's theme is "press for progress".  I especially love it because it gives women agency...it is a call to action so we can accelerate gender parity and equality. We should look out for one another and speak out. We should also learn to see women as more than just wives or daughters or moms. We are first of all, human beings! We are saying no to discrimination; to inequality; to sexual harassment and assault of all forms; we are demanding better.

Look, when you benefit from oppression, you become threatened by every possibility of it being dismantled. Men wrote the laws, they led the countries, they had the better jobs, only them voted for years. So of course our society is constructed to benefit them. Our society has been designed to benefit one half over the others. It will and must stop.

If you still think all this is unnecessary, it's because you are lazy. You are too lazy to do your research. It's that simple. If you don't understand how and why gender equality is important, your parents might have wasted their money on your education. If you retort to stupid statements implying education is what has made some of us radical with feminism; you are probably correct.

So I'm convinced if you are still ignorant, it's willful ignorance. You have chosen not to know. You have chosen a side: the side of injustice. And please, I hope we know that it's beyond such trite things as cooking or who pays for dates. It's much more. It is literally life and death. If you are one of those who think it's the white man's thing and foreign to our culture. As a matter of fact, it is not. Colonialism is what made our culture so patriarchal. Yoruba, for instance, is not a gendered language.  There is no special pronoun for women or men. I recently told my brother this and he was quite pleasantly surprised to learn that. Aba women, in the 30s led a fierce riot against fiscal oppression and burdensome taxation and WON. Three women started it. And don't get me started with Funlayo Ransome-Kuti.  I want to end #IWD2018 this year with an old caption from someone's Instagram.

"...it's not rocket science, it's not open heart surgery; feminism is a very very simple concept and for the people who have refused to utilize Google. Feminism is simply the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. It's not about cooking, who pays on dates, who takes whose name. Those are simply aspects of a general wider movement, and not the root philosophy. Do you believe women should have the same political, social, and economic right as men? Then you're a feminist, kpom kwem.

If you believe in the subjugation of women, you are forever canceled. If you believe women are property, away with you. If you can find any justification for why women should be beaten by their partners, you are a monster. If you believe women should conform to a certain standard of behavior that is not expected of men, you are not intelligent. If you use 'slay queen' as an insult, you are razz. If you cannot respect a woman's sexual agency, you need to be locked up for public safety. If you think that the average man is superior to the average woman solely because of his gender then you need to return your parents school feed.

And finally, if you are a woman or man, but especially a woman, and you ever utter the words "I am not a feminist" we can never be friends and we can not relate. Because feminism is not a choice, it is not an option; it is and has been, an absolute necessity for the survival of the female gender. Therefore, if you are anti-feminism, you are anti-woman, and you are my enemy. 'Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters' Matthew 12 :30 " - Adaku Ufere.

So much for not having much to say haha. But yeah that quote covers it ALL. I could very well have said the exact words.

Also, yesterday was my birthday. Another year around the sun. I wrote on social media that I love the confidence that comes with growing older. And that's all I will say about that haha since this post is already long.

Love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) Lena Dunham on her decision to have  a hysterectomy at 31.

2.) Katie Lowes on being a working mom on the set of Scandal.

3.) The wait is sexy.

4.) Is God male? Women in early Christianity.

5.) I have still not watched Black Panther. Yup, my black card needs to be revoked.

6.) If you are following Mo'Nique's story, and you are not biased, then you'd know there is some truth to her madness.

7.) I am not boycotting Netflix though, lol. I mean, they would have to do something egregious, emphasis on egregious, for me to boycott them.

8.) Well, hello March!

9.) What's up with the many goals you set this year? There is still time to get them done!

10.) It's my birthday in about 5 days. Yay?

Olivia Pope and Annalise Keating On The Same Screen Is What Dreams Are Made Of

I was going to blog about something else, but LET ME TELL Y'ALL...Shonda Rhimes is a genius. Tonight featured a TGIT crossover. If you don't know what TGIT is...sigh, get in the game, please. Thank God it's Thursday is pretty much a slogan to represent the collection of Shonda shows on abc every Thursday evening. So from 8pm to 11pm it's all Shonda's shows: Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder (HGAWM). Tonight, there was a crossover between Scandal and HTGAWM. And it was freaking brilliant. I can't even begin to describe. Now of those shows, Grey's is my gig. The others I like, because hey I like Shonda. But my real jam was always Grey's. HTGAWM has been real great too more recently, but tonight was off da hook.

Seeing Viola Davis and Kerry Washington on my TV was the perfect way to end black history month and begin women's history month. It was so much magic...it truly was beautiful. And Viola Davis sure needs another Emmy. There is something about her, and the way she commands the screen. She represents excellence. You see her act, and you know she TRAINED for this and is highly educated. Julliard, baby!

Upon writing this, I realized it would be hard to tell this story without spoilers. So just stop here if spoilers affect you.

Are you gone? Okay now let's go.

Let's start with the dialogue. It was poignant, it was brilliant, and it was well delivered. They tackled criminal justice reform and Annalise Keating had to go before the supreme court, and that scene was just...breathtaking. To see someone like that, so broken, so damaged; AnnaMae, the little black girl from Memphis find her way from sexual assault, the loss of a child, alcoholism, joblessness, jail...to arguing a case before the Supreme Court. There was something about it. Something very American: that you really can be anything in this country. Yet, it stood in stark contrast with the systemic racism and inequality that has plagued this country from the beginning. The kind of racism that makes a select few profit off the criminalization of black men. The kind of unfairness that makes black women the backbone of this great country: constantly taking care of everyone else but themselves.

The scene with Annalise's mother (the almighty Cicely Tyson) and Olivia Pope was especially emotional. But even more, was Annalise's parents watching her do her thang in the Supreme Court. I also especially loved that they sort of modeled the justices after the real life Supreme Court Justices. In my mind, I sighted Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Hehe.

My sister and I, as we were watching haha

I think what I loved the most was how deliberate the writers were in ensuring it was not just an entertaining crossover, but a thought-provoking one; how thoughtful and sensitive they were to the plight of young men and women who were not given a right to fair trial which they deserved as citizens of America; those poor folks who have been victims of America's broken justice system.

"Racism is built into the DNA of America" - Annalise Keating.

Whew, I am still reeling from that speech Keating gave. She better get another Emmy. She better.

And of course, as with real life, when two powerful, strong people have to work together, there is often some friction at least. Same for Pope and Keating, but the way they read each other for filth was the best. I mean, one second it was two black women in the salon fixing their hair, the next they were throwing serious SHADE. ha. In fact, Megabus is trending on Twitter now LOL.

"...You hauled your broke ass up here on the Megabus." damn girlllll.

And for those who always angry when entertainment infuses/mixes with politics, chill! That's really not a new thing. Historically, the arts have always been political. Not to mention, the arts reflect our lives and should be a demonstration and representation of real life. Best believe if I had to write a T.V show, I would write one about injustice, about inequality, and about unfairness as well. I'm definitely gonna rewatch it.


Love. Love. Love.

Watch it!!! Even if you don't follow TGIT. Just watch tonight's episodes. You will not regret it.