Adam's Syndrome.

I'm sure we all know the famous story about Adam and Eve. Because, that's the basis of the title and this entire post. Now, what exactly is this Syndrome? Man falls after eating from forbidden tree, so he hides among the trees in the garden of Eden because he's feeling naked and exposed. God finds out Adam is hiding and proceeds to ask how he knows he is naked and if he ate the forbidden apple.

"The woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." 

That is the syndrome. Blaming every other person, except ourselves of course, for all our problems. I often wonder why many people find it so hard to take responsibility for their actions. Every now and then, people feel the need to resort to blackmail when things go sour. Then you begin to hear things like;

"Oh, If only my Parents had my time and weren't too busy"

"Oh, my Parents were too strict and uptight, so when I got a little chance, I was thrown off balance"

NEWSFLASH: It is your life, not your Parent's. You can blame them as much as you like, because you took the wrong turn, but at the end of the day it's your life. Some people get angry that their Parents work so hard, they hardly have time for them. When in the real sense of it, these Parents are only working that hard to give you a good life. I understand that it is absolutely inexcusable for a parent to have little or no time for their kids. But, let's be honest, when has blaming your Parents or whoever, ever solved your problem?

Actually, a lot of times the only reason some people's lives are still as crappy as they are is because instead of seeing a problem as what it is-a problem-they blame others and fail to take responsibility. So, what are the symptoms of Adam's Syndrome? It starts from the littlest things; you never take the fall for anything. And this is mostly not because you think you are perfect, it's just that you never want to be blamed for anything. You look back at the past, reflect on your past failures or setbacks and you never see where you went wrong. The only visible part is where X person led you astray or how Y discouraged you from pursuing your real dream or how you were so saddled up with Z's responsibilities that you abandoned yours. Unfortunately, you dwell on these things so much that, you are oblivious of your main problem, or maybe you are not but instead on dwelling on the real issue-the solution-you are very busy with blaming others for all your misfortune.

This attribute can be very common with we Nigerians; every Tom, Dick and Harry blames that uncle or aunt in the village for their misfortune. This is sometimes the case though, do not be fooled, there is jazz/juju/voodoo (name it what you like) in Nigeria. BUT, there are lazy people in Nigeria (there are lazy people everywhere actually. LOL). The presence of  these 'evil spirits' makes many people blame their problems on the wrong people. You have no job, business, plan, strategy, no means of living, nothing whatsoever but you are absolutely sure you are suffering from a generational curse. It is confusing.

The most common part of Adam's Syndrome however is Eve's Syndrome-"It was the devil." Poor devil, he/she/it is always the one. Frankly, I don't see myself doing something extremely wrong and blaming the devil. Ha-ha. I will look so stupid. Don't get me wrong, the devil goes to and fro the earth to kill, to steal and to destroy. However, we give too much credit to that guy. (What sex is Mr./Ms. Devil abeg?)

Examine yourself, is that who you are? Do you blame everybody else for your problems? Do you have a problem taking responsibilities for your own faults and misfortunes? I think you should stop. Look on the bright side, there is still life in you and that can only mean there's still time to change. Try a new strategy, take responsibilities for your actions and when you have a problem, don't blame your friends, family or the government for your issues. Look for a solution, there is always one. I will end this with two quotes; one by famous Margaret Thatcher and the other by Hubert Selby Jr.

"I think we have gone through a period when too many children and people have been given to understand 'I have a problem, it is the Government's job to cope with it!' or 'I have a problem, I will go and get a grant to cope with it!' 'I am homeless, the Government must house me!' and so they are casting their problems on society and who is society? There is no such thing! There are individual men and women and there are families and no government can do anything except through people and people look to themselves first. It is our duty to look after ourselves and then also to help look after our neighbor and life is a reciprocal business and people have got the entitlements too much in mind without the obligations."- Margaret Thatcher

"Eventually we all have to accept full and total responsibility for our actions, everything we have done, and have not done.”
— Hubert Selby Jr., (In Requiem for a Dream).

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