How to Decide Which PhD Program Offer to Accept When you Have Multiple Offers

Hi people! It’s that time of the year when acceptances are rolling in from Ph.D. programs and excitement is bubbling in the hearts of recipients. Someone I am mentoring (my God, does this read as pretentious as it sounds?) told me she received an acceptance into her first choice PhD program! Such fantastic news. I am very happy for her. The visiting/open day (or whatever it is called now) will be happening soon. For those who don’t know much about the process, it’s a day when grad programs invite accepted students to come visit their program after being accepted but before deciding whether to in fact enroll.  They understand that prospective students may have 3 or 4 or 5 (or even more for some lucky people) programs to choose from and need information to make a decision. Part of attending the grad students day/visiting/open day is gathering that information.

How to Prepare for the Academic School Year

A couple of weeks ago, Cohort Sistas and Black Women PhDs invited me to be a part of a panel on how best to prepare for the academic school year. Let me start by saying it was such a fantastic experience and I came out of it so energized. I learned that I love passing on knowledge and advice like that. So, invite me to more panels, people. I can speak on a myriad of topics and to a myriad of people, but especially to black women.

Okay, so as I mentioned, the conversation was about PhD students can prepare for the academic school year. I decided to blog about this based on some of what I said or planned to say because I don't think there is enough of this type of advice out there. I do realize that the academic school year has already begun but I still thought to codify this because much of what I say below will apply in subsequent years and throughout graduate school. By the way, it is certainly not too late to apply these principles towards this academic year. 

Now, how do you best prepare for the academic year? Let's get to it. Please know that I  will frame most of what I say below  based on my own experience, and as you’ll see this is much customizable based on your own needs and circumstance.  I will start with much earlier stages in grad school and then up to when I was much advanced, even though there is some overlap.

Going into my first year, while I learned a lot about broad plans and overviews of phd programs, and even read books about getting the most of your phd program, I didn’t nail down the specifics. And that’s one thing I certainly could have done better.  It was not the worst thing in the world but I was very disorganized, often overwhelmed, and just getting by day to day; so much that after just the first year, I started getting burnt out.  So the summer after my first year, I decided to change my approach. Two things really solidified that decision for me. I was very broke that summer. I also realized that my first year was done, and apart from the grades of all the classes I took that year, I didn’t really have much show for it.

So that summer [before my second year] I started with writing down everything I needed to achieve in a year. There are, of course, broad goals and somewhat vague ideas of what you want to get out of the phd program. But then there are specific goals that you need and that are attainable but that you need to plan for. And that’s what I did that summer. I made all these plans and further broke them down into how to achieve them. Each semester had its goal, what should be achieved, and by what month.  So for instance, I planned to present at conferences, work with professors, get fellowships, get started on publishing, get an internship, or other non-academic experience.  I also got a planner, a physical literal planner and I still use planners till this day. I can't imagine my [professional] life without my planner. It helps tremendously. Those semester goals I mentioned? Each week I would go over them and ask, what can I do towards achieving these goals? And then plan each day based on that. It also meant that nothing came as a surprise, I didn't miss meetings, or miss deadlines etc.  Having that plan the summer before the year began was helpful.

 

As the years passed, of course, I tweaked and adjusted, but the goal, the foundation was the same. Plan for what you seek to achieve in the academic year, but not vaguely, and write them down. Or If you’re more of a technology person, then yeah type them up. But they should be very visible and there should be tangible plans to achieve them. So the first way to prepare for the academic year is to do some planning.

It also helps to think a little bit further ahead. Circumstances will differ of course, but planning that early in advance, allows you to know for instance, when you need to start applying for dissertation fellowships or any other fellowships especially if you're going to do field research. It means the summer before the academic year begins, I look for fellowships I’m eligible for. Then you note information about them like deadlines, requirements, eligibility. And start planning. If it means I can start drafting essays, then it will mean I have a little less load when the semester starts and I’m being a RA or TA or writing my dissertation proposals or working on papers. 

Speaking of proposals, depending on your program requirements, the summer before the academic year begins is a good time to get ahead of some requirements of your program for that year. I'm not saying to get them done, but you can get started. Each program will have requirements depending on the year.  For instance, in my program we had to do a qualifier in our second year (and I think one comp), and then our proposal was due in the third year. It’s so much easier to work on something like your proposal during the school year if the summer before you’ve drafted or scribbled what you think you want to work on or even created a draft template to work with. This is all very customizable depending on your eventual plans of course, but you get a groove of things as the years go on. Now this all depends on how busy your summer is. Maybe you have to get a full time job, that’s okay. I would advise getting a day or two off before the school year starts to get in the frame of mind and make this plan. But the plan is essential. 

I was lucky to go to the field twice. Once in my third year before I had a fully drafted proposal. The summer before that year allowed me to set this in motion.  As you advance in your program, some may advise collecting data during summer. I couldn’t do that; both times I went to the field was during the school year. Yet during the summers before the school year, I took the time to plan almost every aspect of my field research including reaching out to people in the field, planning where I would be collecting the data in the field and other logistical aspects. 

The summer before the school year starts is also a good time to write papers or think of ideas for papers and get started. Once the school year starts, it can be so hard to be creative and to think. But If you already have the plans, executing during the school year is a little easier. So before the school year starts, apart from planning for the upcoming year,  the second way to prepare for the school year is to do some groundwork. 

Now if you’re really advanced; that is, you have collected data, published at conferences, have a draft of your dissertation (depending again on your program), and you’re think about graduating, the summer before the school year starts is when you put your application packages together. In my discipline, they start posting academic jobs as early as July and can go into maybe even March. So it’s a marathon,  but again, if before the school year starts, you have put mechanisms in place to help along the process, you’ll have an easier time. So that when the school year starts, and you’re working on your dissertation, being an RA, trying to publish and also flying out for interviews and campus visits if you’re lucky, your plan helps you be a little more efficient. Before the school year starts, have a good teaching statement draft, research statement draft,  a good cover letter, and diversity statements (most schools are asking for this now), and polish your job market paper. Of course, these are not the finished product, but editing is always easier than writing from scratch. Immediately school starts, you can send them to your advisors and professors and others to help you review. Because they are not in the weeds of midterms and such, they can also get it back to you on time. I know this sounds like a lot, it’s why I roll my eyes when people think professors or phd students get summers off. Because we know that’s not true! But yeah, this point is mostly similar to the previous one about doing groundwork but just on a more advanced level now.

One other way to prepare for the school year is to just hone your skills. We learn a lot by doing, that’s true! But sometimes, we need to create time to actually learn the skills we use. Again, to give an example from my field as that’s what I know well, quant/data science/analytics is a HUGE thing in my discipline. We were mandated to take three quant classes  throughout our coursework years. However, the summers before the school year, I would take some time to  learn more quant and/or software skills so that during the school year I can put these skills to practice whether it's by writing papers or just running analysis of my data. In sum, one way to prepare for the school year is to hone skills that will help you.

So much of the above is about planning towards your academic progress. But before the school year starts, it also time to think about how you plan to take care of yourself during the school year. You have to be intentional about this. Do you want to exercise every day? Do you want to make plans to go see family every month? Do you want to eat better? Whatever that means for you, plan for it. But you must take care of you. 

To summarize, set goals and make a plan on how to achieve them, lay some groundwork, hone your skills, and take care of yourself.

Have a great academic year ahead. Good luck!

Love,

I

How to deal with rejection in academia [as a Ph.D. Student]

Rejection in academia.

Hooo boy.

As we head into the academic job market season (in America), things are ramping up, people are getting confident, some are getting nervous, and others are just plain terrified.  Given the competitiveness of academia, it is almost certain that most people will get rejected.  That is, most people will come out of the season with no job, no funding, and more uncertainty than they can deal with. Sorry for this harsh truth. But hey, that is why such a post like this is relevant. 

First, a little back story for those who don't know about the academic job system or the job market, as it is so often called. So let's say you have been toiling away in a Ph.D. program for years. You have taken course works; presented at conferences; taken the qualifier; written comps after comps (I did a total of three including two written and one HARROWING, HORRIFIC oral); done the dissertation defense; started doing the research (for some this involves experiments, for others field research, and for a few unlucky ones like me, both); and then if you're lucky (with great mentors and an extreme amount of sheer luck), you get published; then things are on the right track to some extent. At some point in this process—specifically somewhere after you make substantial progress in your dissertation or— perhaps when your advisor realizes they have used you enough* and they are tired of your old ass and need fresh blood, he or she will decide it is time for you to get out; to graduate. He/She will tell you this, you will feel your stomach flutter, eager and excited to join the ranks of professors. Only, no matter how much you have been told about what is coming, you will still have no idea of the world that awaits you in the job market. It will almost always be brutal and inhumane.

Normally, this (your advisor's decision to get you out) is one year out from when you actually graduate. The beginning of the academic year is August, so that summer before, in July or August, universities start advertising positions that don't start till August the following year. Are you following? So, say you (your advisor, really. Because you have NO power in academia as a Ph.D. student) want to graduate in May 2022. July 2021 is when you actually start looking for jobs. Now, this does not necessarily mean you're done with your dissertation. Though it could also mean you are in fact done because as you will come to realize, people spend years on the market (I know someone who tried out for five years, literally, so almost a decade as a Ph.D. student). Anyway, starting in July, you start applying for tenure-track jobs, for adjunct positions, for visiting positions, for postdoc positions. Explaining the difference between each of these will take an entire post on its own but I'm willing to do it if you are curious. 

So you start to apply and apply and apply...and apply. Mind you, because it's academia you must be willing to move anywhere for this job, so you are told to apply broadly: Wyoming, South Dakota, North Dakota, Arkansas. No shade to these places but what is my black behind looking for in Boise or Iowa?????

What? 

I digress.

Yeah, so you start applying. You have put in so much work for the past few years and you're expecting to get some good response. Except silence. You are not invited for a Skype interview (Skype is used loosely here but after hundreds or thousands of applications, search committees pick about 10 or 15 students for a video interview and then from that bunch, pick about 3 or 5 for a "campus visit" which is the most exhausting job process that consists of job talks, meeting with deans, other faculty, and every other tom, dick, and harry).

Where did I stop?

Yes, silence. No Skype interview, no visit days, nothing. Or maybe throughout the entire cycle, only one school calls back but instead of you, they decide to yet again hire the white dude from Harvard or MIT because he knows how to do some jiu jitsu on R and/or Python. 

If all this sounds specific, it's because it's the truth. I will stand by it anytime, any freaking day. 

Now, of all the problems academia bestowed upon me, the rejections were not the worst of it. I guess I have just been rejected so so many times that I know the playbook now; I could literally write a book on rejection.  My problems were of a different beast, as you very well know now.

But what is this post about? This post is not to teach you how to finesse the system to get a job—though I want to write on that too since *shhhhh* I was somewhat successful with that lol.

This post is for that inevitable rejection you will get as a Ph.D. student. It's for when you apply for tenure track jobs for the umpteenth time. It's for when you apply for Fellowships after Fellowships, year after year, and nothing. It's for when you have been submitting the same paper for years (literally) and it keeps getting rejected. Or—and by GOD, this is the worst of all—when after slaving away and toiling for six years as an Assistant Professor, your tenure application is denied. WHEW. 

Because it will happen. It does happen. 

 

It will be especially worse because on Academic twitter: everyone and their mothers will be "happy to share that...'' or will broadcast their "some personal update..." very loudly because there is nothing academics love more than bragging while couching everything under "I know I'm so privileged", "I am so lucky" or promising to "dismantle the system" yidi yada, òjé màrínà. Announcement upon announcement, everyday, about people getting their dream positions and negotiating the dream package.  It will be lovely to see for those of us who have no stake in the game. But it will sting you if you're getting the rejections or the deafening silence. If you are in this latter category of rejections (and you probably will be given the beast that is the competitive nature of academia), please know that it does not and will never define you. The first step to dealing with rejection in academia is  to know that it does NOT and will never define you. Academia is your job. It is not some regal calling for a select few. It is just a part of who you are. You have an identity outside of academia and whatever anguish you may be feeling will also pass. You WILL be okay. 

That is a promise. 

I want to acknowledge what you feel seeing people (even outside of academia) get matched (hey medical doctors!), or get prestigious Fellowships, or postdocs, or TT appointments, or in one of the WORST  features (bug, to be honest) of academia, when one person accepts both a postdoc and a TT when so many others are left hanging. What is that about? There will never be a rational explanation for that, in my opinion. In any case, it is nerve racking to be the one getting the rejections. Yet, you must realize that it does not mean you're not good enough. It doesn't even mean your application is not great. Yes, it could mean you need to work on something in your application package, but true talk? It most likely is all due to chance. 

Yet, there is an "other" side to the anguish, and you will get there.

Promise!

Other people's success or even their failures is not a reflection of your value and will never be. You have to remember this idea before proceeding to any other step or suggestion mentioned in this post. So let it sink very well. Selah. 

Rejection, interestingly enough, is not just a part of academia. It is everywhere. I say this because it can be easy to have a tunnel vision perspective, and not realize that whether you are a carpenter, a politician, a chef, a salesman, you will get rejected. This is another important thing to help deal with rejection: remembering that it is happening to everyone around you. Yes, even the hotshot, rockstar your department brought in with millions of dollars after telling you summer after summer, that they have no money for grad students. Yes, shade. 

The next important step for dealing with rejection is to take a step back. For the job situation, I get that you probably need to make a decision immediately because once the cycle is coming to an end and you still have no job prospects, you have to decide what to do if it means graduation is not happening. Again. Yes, I understand the urgency. But still, take a minute to breathe. To forget. This applies to all forms of rejections; whether Fellowships, or journal publications. Take a minute, whatever that is for you.

Along these lines, give yourself a specific amount of time to be upset about the rejection. Before, when a journal rejected my paper, I could be in the dumps for weeks. Now? One hour max lmao. Frankly, I'm too busy to actually give a crap about whether some ridiculous journal publishes my work. I will confess that *very* recently, when a reviewer was extremely vile in their comments to me, it got to me a little more than I expected. Even with that, I talked about it a little and then moved on. I will never give them that much power over me. This is not and will never be a life and death situation for me. I do understand this is easy for me to say since I'm not the one who needs to publish 3 (4? 6? 8?) papers per year for six years to get tenure. 

Next, ask for help. A closed mouth will not get fed. Think broad and wide as you ask people for help. I will never advise being one-hundred percent stuck on academia. Whatever it is you want to do as a professor, there are a million and one ways to do it. It does not have to be in the four walls of a university, and this is where help comes in. Talk to people about opportunities that exist. Tell people your predicament.  Let them help you however they can, even if it's just by encouraging you. Ask for help reviewing your resume, or your grant applications that got rejected, or your paper that got turned down again. Always ask for help, and yes, even from strangers. There is only so much your advisor knows and only so much he or she can do. Leverage your connections or send cold emails (here is where LinkedIn is a tool to wield). You would be so surprised how kind strangers are; unbelievably kind and typically willing to help. I KNOW this for a fact. Just persist (don't badger them or be a stalker) but follow up. Even if academia is the hill you have decided to die on, you can still ask for help. Reach out to professors; they love the public show of kindness anyway so they might more likely help you, the stranger, than their own Ph.D. student in their department. So ask them for help on how to improve your chances or again, for encouragement, for opportunities that exist which you don't know about. They are everywhere on Twitter these days and if they are not there, no one is quicker to pop open a personal website than an academic so they are easier to stalk.

Please know that I will never make light of your dreams, or your rejections, or just your plight. Know that I acknowledge that feeling having been there myself. It is why I feel the most qualified to tell you it will all be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it is not the end :)

Love, 

I

*because as you complete all of what I wrote above, you are also working for your university/advisor/department either as a research assistant or an adjunct

Why There is So Much Bullying, Abuse, and Harassment in Academia and What to do About It

This is funny (in an ironic way) because I had been meaning to write something (anything) here concerning academia, and here we are. It's a tough one, but aren't they all? This is a post about bullying, hazing, abuse, harassment in academia. I have countless stories to tell personally and I have begun to tell my stories in a lot of ways. It is important to me that I document some of what I went through because I don’t want to forget. I want it to be a reminder for me to always do better. ALWAYS. My friend even suggested I write a book about all I went through. Books are tedious and hard but blogs, not so much. So I will tell my story but today is not about me.

This past weekend, #academictwitter was ablaze. You may ask, "what is academic twitter"? It's simple, my friends. It's a part of Twitter where lots of academics (people with PhDs and/or who do academic research) share their research and work, resources, banter, stories, network and once in a while go batshit crazy. So it's basically analogous to Nigerian Twitter, Black Twitter, Astrology Twitter, Christian Twitter...look I'm making this up as I go but you get the point.  I should mention that I have not been particularly fond of nor was I really a part of academic twitter. If I do Tweet in that Twittersphere (please tell me we still use words like this) it's mostly to criticize the institution of academia. I also would like to assume that even within academic twitter, there are subcomponents, no? I mean, political science is a different beast from those monsters in Economics. I mean, both are about equally monstrous but some would argue that Economics more so than others. Anyway, moving on. Where was I? Yes, Academic Twitter this past weekend.

Stories had come out about a woman, Mia Bloom (Yes we are naming names) and all she had done to colleagues and graduate students. Once, she called a junior colleague a whore (in the junior colleague's native language) and a bitch for constructive criticism of her work.  This junior colleague is, of course, a woman of color* (something about us makes them want to shit their pants even more than usual).  Another time, she called journals to bad mouth people who had submitted their works to said journals. Stories and stories. Someone my friend knows left the phd program where Mia taught at (GSU) halfway through her program because she could no longer take it and she went to start afresh at a new program. For the longest time, when asked why she left, she lied that she needed a change of scenery. In reality, she left for her wellbeing and safety.

Mia then made a ridiculous non-apology apology claiming that she had no idea hEr WoRdS hAd HuRt So MaNy PeOpLe. Anyway, so furor erupted on Twitter.

And so all weekend, people told their stories. Other [mostly white] people with all the power in academia pledged their support and promised to do better. Yawn.

Except, how did it get so bad? How did so few people get to have so much power? How did academia become such a tyrannical system of oppression and abuse?  How is it that women of color find so little support and often have to leave their programs? I don’t have all the answers. I do know that this is not an unsolvable problem.

To start with, Mia had friends, colleagues, collaborators...people she published with, bosses, deans. They must have KNOWN she was like this. Believe me when I say, people often KNOW. But as with most situations of abuse, it must have been hush hush. People would probably have turned their faces away. No one dealt with it.  Even people with power who could have stopped this and nipped this at the bud did nothing.  As is often said, the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. I'm looking especially at people who already had tenure and were working with her and literally had nothing to lose but still stayed quiet. I hope this is a reminder for all of us that no matter where we find ourselves, if we have been entrusted with power, we must wield it with our highest sense of morals. We must look out for those around us with little or no power and must always, always advocate for the marginalized.  

While in academia, the "marginalized" are not always people of color, it is still true that so many people of color especially immigrants, due to cultural backgrounds and a perennial sense of gratitude, are more likely to endure abuse and harassment. If all the time, you are just grateful to have even been given such an immense opportunity; if you are from a culture where the authority/superior/older person has the final say and you dare not challenge them else you would be termed disrespectful, rude, and void of home training (cough Nigerians cough); if you're from a culture where you're told to just put your head down and work, you are more likely to stay quiet in the most oppressive system. And let me tell y'all, the oppressors milk this. You would watch them literally accord more respect to your white counterparts and treat you (the person of color) like you’re not worthy of respect. Talk down at you, put you down, and underestimate you. When you dare to dream big, they call you "too ambitious", and not as a compliment but as a "how dare you think you—of  all people—can do xyz". 

"My problem with you Ife, is that you are too ambitious." said with such irritation and exasperation. 

As if. As if. 

Now when all of this brouhaha started on Twitter, I had been particularly quiet cos ya know, ain't none of my business. I was minding my business offline. And then something caught my eye: someone who is notoriously (NOTORIOUSLY) also quite the bully started to tweet against Mia Bloom.  *blinks* I refreshed the page, nah this can't be. It was. This person was also tweeting about love, support, and the campaign to end evil once and for all in academia. I literally burst out laughing. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why Academic Twitter is a whole load of BS. 

So I tweeted,

"Hmm I think that as the conversation around abuse and harassment continues on academic twitter, if you're guilty of this (making life hell for grad students) maybe sit this one out? Except of course, to apologize?"

I was both amused and confused. On the one hand, they might have just been deliberately obtuse (or obnoxious?) and wanted to tweet for the heck of it. But on the other, I realized there was a slight (VERY slight chance) that indeed they didn't know they were part of the problem. So I asked, "is it really possible that people don't know that they are part of the problem?" Is it? Maybe that is exactly the problem then: that everyone dances around people like that and no one actually confronts the problem; “so & so is like that. just avoid them at all cost,” people often say instead of having adult conversations like “hey, treating people like that is wrong”. People could have easily said , “hey, how about we treat people with respect?” But abuse  continues as long as good people (maybe even well-meaning) remain quiet even though they have the power to stop it. Instead, they turn to Twitter to offer "support" and "love" or all the other forms of virtue signaling you can think of. Except, we don't need platitudes. We need action. We don't need platitudes. We need action. We need consequences. I said all of this as someone whose grad school experience was difficult too. Though no one called me a bitch or an ashewo (whore); certainly not to my face. If you did, well, one of us would have left that department and best believe it would not be me. 

Departments are not oblivious to the problems either. They know who the problematic people are and the transgressions these people commit. They even, in so many ways, allow it to thrive; they create hostile environments for this to occur. So as you see apologies and pledges to be better, either take it with a grain of salt or realize that they are only sorry because they got caught. 

I am no longer afraid because frankly I’m not embedded in all of this mess anymore. And I waited till I could not suffer from retaliation to speak out too (yes, I did!) and sometimes I worry if that makes me a coward. I worry that I did not and/or I have not warned enough people. So now maybe people (with no power to stand up to abusers) need to be more frank. Maybe people need to say directly [especially to women of color]: so and so made my life hell. Or at the very least, let them know to watch out because things can get very complex.  

The point is I am sick of  Ph.D. students getting hurt. I am sick of them becoming suicidal. I am sick of people popping anxiety pills because...grad school. It's a devastating mental health crisis among grad students.

Till this moment, new emails on my work email terrify me a little (used to be much worse). My chest beats very fast at every new work email because it was via email someone told me—nay, threatened me that—I would never have a career without them on my side. They thought they had that much power. And frankly, maybe they do. The point being, my brain has been programmed to see official emails as a sign of some form of impending doom. 

There are parts of my confidence and self-esteem that have been chipped off and if God doesn’t do a miracle, I may never get them back. 

That’s not a system that can (or even should) survive.

So many others still can’t share their trauma not even because of retaliation but because it’s just so fresh, so raw.

It would be remiss of me if I did not mention that there is support too in grad school.  There is. You will find friends you can vent to. You may even find faculty in your corner to advocate for you. I know that I did. 

At the same time, in addition to being kind, I am imploring people [with power] to not be neutral and to take action wherever necessary. 

I’m also inclined to  say that I don't know if this is a general academia problem or if it's just specific disciplines. No matter the case, if you're considering grad school, make sure you try to do your homework. Speak with current students. Do they feel seen, valued, supported?** Do faculty invest in them and work with them? That professor you are dying to work with, do they even care about grad students much less want to work with them? Or are they too self-absorbed to even think about collaborating with a Ph.D. student? When they do work with students, how do they behave? I hope you are lucky enough that people are honest with you.

But even if you aren't and you get in and it's hell, then do all you can to survive. Document everything and seek help. Almost every campus will have some form of psychological and counseling services and it's usually free, use it. Build a network and a community outside of your work. Have friends, nurture your family, find hobbies (hi blogging! haha). There is so so much to life than a degree, literally. It's not that deep. If it's so much that you can't bear it, then it's okay to leave too or take a break. You will be fine. If all else fails and you need someone to vent to, then message me. I'm getting good at listening to people vent. 

I don't know what happens to Mia; I don't care, frankly. There are so many Mias...so many that what we need is both systemic change and more active allies. Till then, no amount of fury on Twitter will solve the problem. 

Love,

I

P:S: I tweeted this and I will reiterate: except you are a grad student, non-academic, my friend, or my acquaintance, please please don't message me privately to offer "support" or "love". I don't want to "share my story".

*Although I quite dislike the term "woman of color" or "person/people of color" because it's (quite frankly) a lazy way of just lumping non-white people together, I still use it in this post. I use it to mean non-white people, to be honest. I am sorry about that and I acknowledge that our experiences are wildly diverse in so many ways. We are not a monolith. But I am lazy and wanted a smoother flow for your reading pleasure. See, am I not kind?

**Fun fact: once I was in a department event that Ph.D. students were meant to attend and I think I was literally the only Ph.D. student to show up (I know!). So of course, faculty members were furious. One of them (WHO KNEW ME) started screaming "why is there no Ph.D. student here? Where is X? Where is Y? I can't believe they didn't come" all the while looking over me. Basically this person refused to acknowledge my existence; as far as they were concerned, I wasn't even a Ph.D. student. I didn't exist. It's how they try to erase you. I think it might have been in the middle of other crap going on involving this person so this was how this person chose to fight me that moment.  Or maybe not? Maybe they just chose violence for no darn reason. I had never felt so small. Actually, I had lmao. Oh well, I still finished. 

I Got a Ph.D.! How I feel About Defending my Ph.D. Dissertation

This year has been a LOT. A whole LOT for so many reasons. But, I can also say this year 2020 is the year I completed the most difficult task of my life. Exactly one week ago, I defended my dissertation and became a Doctor! 

I wrote on Instagram and Facebook that I was speechless. And I think I still am. I don't know what to say because the past five years have been a combination of torture, anxiety, anger, hard-work, resilience, grit, and extreme grace. Let's recount a little of what it took to get here: a dissertation of exactly 245 pages; a two-hour defense of said dissertation; a harrowing (and soul crushing) proposal defense a year ago; two brutal comprehensive exams two years ago; an oral exam two years ago; a qualifier defense two or three years ago (everything is a blur at the moment); tons of classes. But none of that matters now. What matters is that I PhinishedD. I have a freaking Ph.D. I said on all my social media that my amazing family was there for me so this degree is for all us. I meant it. 

The day I defended, I spoke with a lot of people over the phone. My family, my friends, a lot of people called (or messaged) congratulating me. One conversation stuck. It was with my aunty; my dad's older sister. She mentioned that my grandmother must be rejoicing in heaven that day. See, my grandmother had no education as both my dad and aunty reminded me. Not great grandmother, not some  far fetched ancestor, but my father's mother. She didn't get an education not because she wasn't brilliant but because her own parents could not afford to give her an education. It wasn't even a possibility. And then I got a Ph.D. 

We truly are our ancestors' wildest dreams. 

To be clear, I'm not the first in my family to get an education or even to get a graduate degree. My parents are educated. My siblings are very educated. My cousins are educated too. We are Nigerians after all lmao. I'm not even the first doctor in my family. And by the grace of almighty God, I won't be the last.

I'm saying I don't think any of my grandparents on either side, no matter how wildly they dreamt, could have imagined any of this for their progenies. And that truly blows my mind. I have been thinking about that a lot. 

Anyway, the good thing is I now have some time for some of my passions now and if Covid ever leaves (Lord!) I owe myself the most luxurious vacation. I really do. The best part is just having time. I just have time. I feel light, free, relieved. My gift to myself these past few days has been to wake up without an alarm; I only wake up when my body is ready to wake up. I eat my meals slowly, I luxuriate in almost everything but more so while eating. I love it.

I also can now write more about academia and be much more honest. I've never lied but sometimes, I've had to cool my jets. I already have a reputation for being *ahem* let's not complete that. So I couldn't risk getting in my own way.

But now, ohohohoh LOL

Seriously, though. 

I'm hoping to write more. About academia (sure) but also about everything else. I'm hoping to focus more on this blog and all the other things I rarely had time for. 

But if I'm missing in action in the next few days, please forgive me. So much is still happening as you might expect.

A normal person would post all the celebratory pictures from the defense, right? Right.  Turns out I'm not that normal. You would have to head over to my personal Instagram page for that. I don't know why posting my pictures anywhere (even on my PERSONAL page) comes incredibly hard for me. I'm not anonymous so you can definitely find me on the interwebs if you're curious as to what I look like. 

This is a full on ramble now.

TLDR: I did a thing: I got a Ph.D. I will blog more (I hope). And I have a serious problem with posting pictures online. 

Good recap.

Love,

I

How to Write Your PhD or Graduate School Application Essay and Statement of Interest

Fall is approaching and this means graduate school applications will soon begin to open up.  And one of the most important aspect of your application is your statement of interest or statement of purpose or personal essay or application essay, whatever you want to call it. No matter what field you are in, you absolutely are required to write one. It allows admission committees to better understand your background and interests. Plus they would be able to tell if you are even a good match for their program. And yes, I know, I know, there are tons of advice on this all over Al Gore's Internet. But I wanted to write something practical and straightforward or at least give some tips on writing one. It can be very overwhelming to start out with an essay like this, but it's not impossible. Okay? Okay, let's go.

What Exactly Happens During Fieldwork and/or Field Research Pt. 2

Welcome back, folks!

This is one post in which you REALLY need to read the first part, if not this would all be gibberish to you. I wanted to share about field research and particularly what happens when you are in the field, using my experience, of course.  But it was becoming an excruciatingly long post so I decided to break it into two. In sum, the first part was an overview of what happens when you get to the field.  And this part is for giving you a specific example by describing a typical day in the field.



Let me give a typical day in the field. It went something like this: wake up; exercise (sometimes I exercised at night); do dissertation work. I kept writing. My number one tip is that you should always write every single day. In my case,  I worked a lot on my theory in the field and I was able to revise and reframe from data I was collecting. Okay, continuing on to the description of a typical day: After writing for a few hours, it was [usually] time to head out. Now, I  would start thinking of what to eat. The great part was leaving home around 10 or 11 meant  I could beat traffic in Lagos. I would head out to either an interview or two. I would then head to the field (I have to rethink this terminology now) where surveys are being administered, and then I would also talk to people as much as they let me. After a while, I would take a break to eat. Next, it would be time to continue on the field OR track down government workers I needed data from. Whew, I'm having PTSD as I write this. I spent HOURS in Ministries and Local governments. Anyway, commuting from place to place also provided the opportunity to do logistical work like emailing/Skyping my advisors who were stateside. This would also be the time to email reminders of my interviews or schedule interviews with more people. Or it could mean time to take a Skype call to interview someone not on ground. And then I would head back home. On my way home, there was almost always traffic.

If I needed to rest my head from the long day, I will read leisurely. If E is in the ride with me, I will chat with her while doing some work on my laptop. When I get home, I would usually eat dinner, chat with my family who were also Stateside via Skype. Once I hung up, I got back to working. Working meant reviewing field notes, transcribing, changing some aspects o my theory and hypothesis and evaluating the surveys collected to make sure enumerators actually administered the survey the way I wanted. Thanks to due diligence, I caught one that never worked, and fired her behind. Lol.

Anyway, sometimes I would use this time at night to Skype with people back in the U.S. that I had technical questions for (due to the time difference). This was also the time to work on non-dissertation projects. I hate stuff piling up and my strategy is usually to do stuff bit by bit. So each day I work on a non-dissertation project with future deadlines. Afterwards, I read a journal article or book. This is basically just any academic literature in my field to keep up with whats happening re methods being applied etc. I will also do something on quantitative method I am trying to hone; this can be anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. If I was too lazy to exercise in the morning, I would do it now. Sometime around 1 or 2am, I would go to sleep and continue the next day.

On weekends, I tried to do fewer stuff but add in blogging or anything to get my creative juices flowing. Plus don't get me wrong, there was some time for fun stuff too.

I say all these to show that its not formulaic per se. The main point was to be as embedded as possible while also trying  to not be so "distracted" by field work that to get back to the groove of things after fieldwork would be hard. On some days I was not in Lagos and would travel out of state. But the more I met with people, the more people I had to meet with.

Some days, I was more productive than others. My point is, the whole idea of fieldwork sounds amorphous and overwhelming but try not to be overwhelmed. Just take it one day at a time but have a plan for what you want to achieve. Data is limitless so fieldwork can be endless and a colossal waste of time without a plan. But having a goal means you can evaluate monthly or weekly to see if your aim for field research is being materialized. I kept a strict calendar with each hour accounted for. Ok I do this in my regular life too. BUT, it helped especially in the field.

I will be honest with you. It was a crazy few months but if I survived it, you can. My biggest challenge was being away from my natural habitat and not being home. If you are adventurous, you would have the time of your life. Some people say field research was the best time of their lives or their degree. It's a No from me. Was it a great experience that taught me a LOT? Absolutely. Would I want to do all that again. Nah. At least not from this standpoint. When its for your dissertation, the stakes are too high and there is too

This was a long about way to give you a tiny glimpse of what field research is like. Again, it may vary depending on specifics. However,  if you have any questions, comment or email me please. Or a post suggestion, please let me know as well. It might take me another six months to actually post one of these, but I will.

Love,

I

What Exactly Happens During Fieldwork and/or Field Research Pt. 1

I did not forget about this at all. I don't have a reason for why I'm just writing lol. But expect more posts on fieldwork in coming weeks or months or years ha! Okay so I have since been back from fieldwork and actually writing up the research now. It is NOT fun. Okay, I should not completely say that. Some parts are actually fun, others are tedious. But that's life.

So after having defined fieldwork, field research, and the variants, and even how to prepare for it, the next question is what happens when you are in the field. You may be asking this because you are planning field research and you are worried, anxious and curious about what to do when you get to your destination. You may just want to read about this because you are curious. Everyone is welcome.

Whenever someone sends me an email now saying someone else told them to reach out to me for advice on fieldwork either generally, or in Nigeria, I'm always sooo giddy to help. I love receiving those emails and I always make sure to respond fast! I was once that person shooting out cold emails asking for help from strangers, so I have promised to pay it forward as much as I can. Part of that is writing this post. As I write this, I will try to retrace my own steps. And this is very important because before I left, I was also really looking for information and found none. It's weird because excellence is expected of you but no one really tells you the how. So it matters to me to share something about this. I will say though, that, time has passed, life has happened and I may miss some things. For experts reading this, feel free to jump in the comments to fill in the gaps.

Out and about - in Ibadan

Now, you have successfully defended your proposal, maybe you are even lucky enough to get funding, then set a date. Yes, set a timeline for field research. It is possible that you will get to the field and realize that you need more time, in which case you will extend it. No matter what, be focused enough to set a time to end. So basically, be focused and disciplined, but don't be too rigid.

Next, get ready for where you are headed. This means know the climate and temperature, and pack accordingly. This means, mosquito repellant (if necessary), comfortable clothings, hats, sunscreen, protective gears (if you will literally work in fields or something), toiletries you absolutely need and will not be able to get in Timbuktu. Pack enough to last you for  a while. This all sounds very basic but just keep them in mind. Remember that you should have figured out logistics like housing and transportation BEFORE you even leave your home country.

If you have planned well, you have already have a tentative calendar to work with. So I will skip that. Ultimately, what happens during your fieldwork depends a lot on the discipline you're getting your degree in. But to give some perspective, I will use myself as an example. For me, before I even left the states, I already had some interviews scheduled. So as soon as I arrived, that set the ball rolling. I believe I got into the country on a Thursday or perhaps Friday. Either way, that weekend, I caught up with my friends and on Monday I began work. First, I went to another state entirely to meet with academics and other researchers. This way I could ground my research in theory and also situate it properly within the field by having conversations with people who live it.

It's one thing to do research about people of a country or region (in the Social Sciences), it's another to actually go to the place you are studying and get a real feel for it. So interviews, interviews, interviews; talk to people who live and breathe this, who have been doing this for a while, and who know the people. So yes, interviews. For an extreme introvert, I will confess that this part got really old quickly. I made the mistake of scheduling several interviews in a day and I got burnt out really quickly. I was always so drained after conversations that I could barely think and my productivity suffered a lot, so think through this and pace yourself accordingly. Perhaps you are a social butterfly and this makes you come alive. Perhaps not.

Out and about - Otto in Lagos

Please, be sure to follow every necessary protocol. I haven't mentioned this in any of these posts but I assume you know this: you need IRB approvals before launching ANY research on human subjects. It protects you, but more importantly, you need to protect your research subjects too. Anyway,  apart from interviews and talking with people (politicians, data people, people in the civil society space, academics, local leaders, stakeholders, regular people etc.), I also administered a fairly large survey for quantitative data which cost time and money. We can talk about this some other time, but that also consumed a lot of time during field work. Specifically, I had to code and extensively revise survey questions using a software,  I had to train my enumerators, and I literally would go to the field to make sure they followed the strict measures. Man, fieldwork was tough lol. Apart from these, I  also did a lot of participant observation, which like the name sounds is basically observing people and interactions; ethnographic work basically.

The above paragraph is a good overview.  Because it is now an extremely long post, I will break this into two parts and continue in a subsequent post. In part 2 of this, I will give a description of typical day in the field. And I promise I won't wait weeks to post it hahaha.

Welcome to March, people!

Love,

I

Book of the Month: Some Books I Have Been Reading

Sooo. For some reason, I haven't talked about any book here  in a while even though I have actually been reading. I have no reasons for that. But I decided to share a bunch of books I have been reading for my own personal development.




1.) The first is called, "Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes: A Guide to Starting, Revising, and Finishing Your Doctoral Thesis" by Joan Bolker. I mean, you can't literally write your entire dissertation in fifteen minutes. Lol. Anyway, in this book she gives tips and advice on working your way through the dissertation writing process, from developing a working habit to choosing advisors and a committee; to getting started on writing; to your first draft and other tidbits. Spoiler alert: the key to writing efficiently and finishing in decent time is to write every single day. You can say this about most habits.

I learned a little while ago that consistency is actually a better goal to strive for than excellence or perfection. If you do something every single day, and I mean every single day without fail, you will inevitably be great at it. Take that approach with writing. Carve out time, sacred time for writing, where you do nothing but write. Not research, not edit, just write. So in that sense all of what the book addresses,  I already knew. In fact most things did not apply to me because I have passed those stages in my career. It's a great book nonetheless. But you can read all the books in this world about writing, and except you actually commit to these principles, you would be wasting everyone's time. So in a nutshell, I read the book not just because I am currently writing a dissertation myself (pray for me, y'all!) but also because I needed a reminder/refresher of some of what she talks about.

2.) The second is, "When Panic Attacks: The New, Drug-Free Anxiety Therapy That Can Change Your Life" by David Burns. First things first, if you struggle with anxiety, you are not alone. Many people are suffering from various mental health challenges. Sometimes, I wonder if people are misdiagnosing themselves. Who knows really? I know for sure though that our mental health should be prioritized. And if you can't afford therapy or you are still trapped in shame because you are afraid of what people would think if you go to therapy or you just don't know what to expect in therapy, then get this book. If you want to get better, period. Everyone should read something like this book.

It provides you with ammunition to defeat any kind of anxiety, without conventional therapy or prescription drugs. My favorite aspect of the book is his assessment of  the inclination of medical providers to prescribe drugs for every darn thing. He teaches you 40 new anti-anxiety techniques. I gotta say you need time with this book because it is very detailed, and working through all the tools can honestly be tiring. I will say though that if you can, you should do them because they are very effective. He also gives home-works and asks you to fill in the gap etc. I will be honest, I didn't have that kind of time to work through all of it. I just didn't. So while I read it painstakingly, I certainly could have been more thorough.

Can this solve lifelong anxiety and/or other mental health challenges? Definitely. But I think I would still prefer sitting in front of a therapist while they work through issues with me. I would rather someone asks me all the questions. It's too much to do by yourself. And I say this as someone who is incredibly introspective. That said, if you flip towards the end of the book, he walks you through exactly how to use each technique; how to work your way from an upset feeling to getting better. It's a solid book that everyone should have and read. I was just lazy. Plus I think more generally, I read the book when I was in a good place mentally (thank God!). Had I read it when I was in a much worse condition, I am sure I would have done the work, for sure. I would say (disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional) before using all manner of medication, at least try the techniques in a book like this. One interesting thing about this book is that he (an actual psychiatrist) admitted to the arbitrary nature of the diagnostic criteria for anxiety disorders. He acknowledges that sometimes what psychiatrists call anxiety disorders are basically just normal feelings people have from time to time.  In fact, according to Burns, some medicines like Xanax make people completely dependent on them, so much that when you stop taking them, you experience withdrawal symptoms that heighten whatever initial problem you had. There is also a whole thing in the book where the author exposes drug companies that selectively publish studies and the bias in the literature that create false perception about the effectiveness of antidepressants. This is why I would caution against popping pills for the sake of. But heyyy, you do you. This is just me talking about a book and I do NOT HAVE A MEDICAL DEGREE, so what do I know?  And oh yeah, of course, brain diseases totally exist, not to mention serious psychiatry problems like schizophrenia, bipolar etc. I don't think there is a way around such ailments that does not involve medications.


3.) And finally, we have  "Discerning the Voice of God - Bible Study Book - Revised: How to Recognize When God Speaks" by Priscilla Shirer. This one is good for anyone committed to strengthening their relationship with God. I will admit that this book might come across like it's for mature Christians only. Because while I absolutely adore Priscilla Shirer, I do think she wrote this book with an assumption that her readers have attained a particular level of spirituality. If you are still really growing or if you are a new Christian, and you read this book with some of its instructions, it can easily become frustrating.

In her defense, I don't think there is a straightforward, simple enough book out there for all Christians about understanding God's voice. But ultimately, I really love that she acknowledges that understanding the heart of God is not about hearing a clear, audible voice. And though many Christians depict it like so, it is not always entirely true or at least not complete (I still do NOT think God told you what dress to wear to Church. Bite me). I also think that Christians should not live a frantic life, where they are constantly searching and searching for the voice of God and then getting frustrated when they hear nothing. Instead rest in knowing that God is always within you and will never forsake you. He is true to his word about leading you and allowing his will come to pass. I have actually spoken a lot about this on the blog: see knowing God's will for your life. Or what to do when you are waiting.  Or How to make decisions when your faith wavers. Interestingly, Priscilla does echo some of the sentiments in the posts I linked: yes sometimes you are not sure if it's God. Have faith anyway. Sometimes you have to work with exactly what God has placed in your hands right now and keep doing. And sometimes you have to just step out in faith and obey because you feel God is impressing it upon your heart to. All of these are never ever easy. Fear not, it's not all abstract. She does give some practical lists of things you can start doing at the moment to better understand God's will for your life.

Whew. Well. that's that.

Book of the month was quite busy this year so I hope to continue next year. What were your favorite books this year?

Love,

I

What Exactly is Fieldwork and How Do I Get Started on My Dissertation Field Research

Ho ho ho, back with another Grad School and Academia series post. I hope they are not becoming too frequent? It's just harder to write about something else, considering what is taking front row in my life now. *drumroll* You did not guess it right Lol. But yes, I am currently conducting field research in what Americans like to call, Africa. Yes, I'm in Africa Lmao. I'm kidding, I am in Nigeria for fieldwork for my research. This post might have several different parts that, depending on how lazy/busy I am, will be posted over the next few weeks (hopefully, not years). Don't worry as you will see in the forthcoming posts, fieldwork is not for the fainthearted oh.

Ibadan, Nigeria

I realized this might be confusing for a lot of people so I will do my best to explain. Depending on your field of work, this is especially in the Social Sciences, but if your work focuses on a region outside of America, there is a huge chance there is no data available for the research you want to conduct. In this case, you would have to visit the country or countries you are studying. In my case, I am lucky enough to be studying my home country (there will be a post on pros and cons of this idea, by the way). Field work, therefore, is collecting data outside of your office or laboratory or the library. This means, field work can be a Zoologist going to the zoo. Or a Botanist going out to study plants. Even people studying Americans also do fieldwork: could be heading out to study prisoners, or cops, or firemen, or Congressmen. But that's boring, let's talk about the more exciting aspects, shall we?

Yes, going out of the country.

University of Ibadan, Nigeria

Now that we have that out of the way, fieldwork varies a LOT. A Whole LOT. And I think that if you are not careful, you can waste a whole lot of time doing fieldwork. it is one of those things that is so amorphous, it can truly never end. So the best thing is to set a date for yourself, a deadline if you will. Because I have seen people conduct fieldwork for two years. And of course in this time-wasting category, I exclude ethnographers. Unlike the rest of us, ethnographers seek to be embedded in a society, to observe and study a way of life by becoming a part of that way of life. I have serious critiques of some ethnographic work, but that's not why we are here today lol.  But be careful, lest it's the tenth year of your phd and you still don't have a dissertation.

Fieldwork can also entail collecting both qualitative and quantitative data, like I am doing. (So ask me questions, guys. If you have any, just shoot me an email. Er...no please SEND me an email. You can never know with Americans, ahem). So with this in mind and coupled with LIMITED funding (cos y'all know in academia, it's always limited), I had/have a game-plan: I am determined to not waste my time. It's really that simple. Everything boils back to maximizing the amount of time I have. I am not saying my specific duration because I don't want you witches monitoring me (I didn't even know whether to post this after I had already left). But yes, generally, fieldwork ranges in duration. Last year, I had a short preliminary field work for one month. Some do more like 6 months to one year. Some do less, like 3 months to 4 months. so it depends on your work and your plan. Now, how can you even get started on your field research? Well, keep reading.

Ago Iwoye, Ogun State, Nigeria.

1.) Go back to your proposal. I reckon you had or are currently writing one? You must pass and defend one before they even allow you proceed to fieldwork, no? So what did you say you would do in that? Keep in mind that things change when you get to the field. But the more details you can have at the proposal stage, the better for you cos then you can hit the ground running. In your proposal you also probably have explained how exactly you plan on collecting data. Since I am in the Social Sciences, I will give example from the Social Sciences. So for instance, you might need to observe certain groups of people. You might need to interview some key informants. Or perhaps, it's a focus group? Alternatively, it could be archival data that is only available in an obscure library in southeastern Zimbabwe. Or it could be surveys of citizens of that country. Or data from the government. It could be a  myriad of things. It could also be a combination of various methods. As much as you can, explain how you intend to obtain data to test the hypotheses you put forward. I realize this point can be particularly helpful if you are just about writing your proposal. So again, should you have any questions, ask away!

2.) Reach out to people beforehand: now if you are going to be interviewing people, you definitely need to reach out to people in the place you are going, telling them about your work and the fact that you will be coming over for your research. Even if you are not interviewing, and perhaps all you need to do is participant observation, you still need to reach out to folks. In fact, it might be prudent to be affiliated with an organization. The institutional back up can be incredibly helpful. All you have to do is reach out to one person, explaining who you are and what you do. It's a simple enough template saying, you are xyx, a Ph.D candidate at xyz, studying zyx....and so on. Be precise, be concise, and in many cases people respond very well. Not everyone will, but someone will. If you need institutional affiliation, keep reading below but know that you need to have reached out to them even earlier.

An exciting townhall meeting!

3.) Leverage your connections: you might be wondering where on earth you would find someone to reach out to in middle of nowhere, Romania. But you would be surprised. First of all, what works have been done on Romania? Surely, someone before you has gone there for field research. Email them. I found lots of my contacts by cold emailing (yup! worked like magic for me). But I also found some by chit chatting my friends who do work completely different from mine, telling them what I do and where I'm going. And a little oh wow I know this other person who does xyz, and bam it snowballs from there. Do not ever underestimate the power of the connections you have built so far in life. And don't be shy about talking about your work. While in the field, I desperately (emphasis on DESPERATELY) needed something that could make or break my work. I was at my wits' end when I messaged someone who is kind of a personal shero to me, but who I have only met once at a conference. I sent an email to her, half expecting she would be too busy being a badass to respond. By the time I woke up the next day (a SUNDAY), she had responded. And the person she connected me to helped me tremendously. This was after weeks of worrying that my whole plans were coming crumbling since I could not find a solution.  I will NEVER forget her kindness. So talk about your work, and email.

4.) Ask your advisors and professors for help: if you have tried cold emailing, and leveraging your own connections, and nothing bites or you still don't have enough for where you are going, then it's time to pull in the big dogs. For my preliminary trip, I was really shy about cold emailing people. I did not want to be a bother (NONSENSE) so I reached out to my advisor, and he reached out to someone who reached out to someone who was very helpful. So of course talk to professors who do similar works to what you do. Of course, be prepared, not all professors will be helpful. Some do not really like to "share" connections. So don't take the no or the silence personal. However, your advisor probably will and if they don't, honey, we are dealing with a way bigger problem here. Let's talk in camera. By my second time around, I had wisened up and sent emails to any and everybody that could even remotely help. And for the most part, everyone was incredibly kind and helpful. Except for a few jerks here and there. But who cares about those?

5.) Social media: thank God for this thing. If all else above fails, go to TWITTER. Okay so this is dicey because you can't just go one day and then bam find what you are looking for. It takes a systematic and continuous use of it. Follow the right people and just keep on. You can even be incognito, but follow some people whose tweets you like and whose works and reputation you respect. Something would lead to something and then, you would find they could be of help. Tweet at them!

6.) Calculate cost: okay this should probably be at the top, but you need to count your cost. You really need to figure out a very good estimate of what this trip would cost. Ideally, you should have this figured out a year before so you can apply for funding opportunities. Field research is expensive for various reasons; one of which is plans change, and sometimes what you bargained for changes. So set realistic expectations of how much you will need. And apply for funding opportunities like your life depends on it. Because it kinda does.

7.) Figure out housing and other logistical aspects: where will you live? How will you get around? How do you plan on keeping safe?  Please and please, please make sure your safety is paramount. Please. No research is worth your life. To do this, you need to have been in proper communications with someone on ground that can be trusted. This is another reason that institutional affiliations are prudent. You also need to understand you are a visitor where you are, you have to respect their customs and way of life. I mention this because there is often a sheer hubris among researchers that makes them feel like their research trumps all and everything. It doesn't. If in that village or town, they don't allow recorders, then don't record. If interviewing political officers is wrong, then don't do it or at least don't be so blatant about it. I also want to say as a researcher doing field research, ask yourself how you plan to give back to this community that is contributing monumentally to your research. Don't just take and take and then leave them worse than they were. Give something back, in some form.

All of these seem like a good starting point for field research. In subsequent post in this series, we will talk about other things like the day-to-day aspects of field work, where to do your field research and so on. This was incredibly lengthy, but bear with me, a lot of things needed explanation. As always if there are questions, let me know. I am not an expert (not even close since I am still learning a lot and asking questions myself) but I can share what worked/works for me and together we can be great lmao.

Love, and some adventure,

I

Seven Differences Between Getting a PhD and Going to Medical School

As I mentioned in a now deleted post, I'm currently getting a PhD. It's something I never used to like to talk about on this blog, and really in real life too. But more recently, and mostly inspired by the amazing Ijeoma Kola, I've been more inclined to talk about my experiences. The main reason is because over the course of my own journey, I've had sooo many questions and not enough people to ask. I usually sometimes resort to Google but frankly most questions go unanswered and I just figure stuff out as I go. Not to mention, there is sooo much to say about academia and while I can't quite go all in yet because ahem, I'm not fully anonymous, I can at least be a resource person, right?

So I thought to create a [grad school and academia] series addressing such questions, and this will mostly be for black girls like me or someone that belongs to a minority group (So really anyone that isn't white) as academia was not created for us.  And if you have any question, feel free to ask. Especially if you're just about to start (you need to know what you are getting into before you begin, please). That's not to say if you are white, you can't read any of this; certainly not, but you might not relate to any of what I say. And for my non-academia friends and readers, don't worry,  I will still be blogging about regular life stuff and all. This is definitely not a academic blog (yuck). Plus who knows, you may be able to apply some of these principles to your life too. I'm excited about this, yay!

the view from my sister's apartment is breathtaking

Now on to the very first post in the series. Last week was my sister's White Coat Ceremony for medical school (Yay! Still so hyped). Anyway, all through the event, I noticed some things about medical school that differ extensively from grad school (getting your PhD), and thought about writing about those differences. Now of course, substantively, they are vastly different. An MD is a medical degree and medical students are being trained to become physicians. On the other hand, a PhD can be obtained in a vast array of fields: from the humanities to STEM fields, you can get a PhD in numerous degrees. In a nutshell, a PhD from a reputable program (not those online nonsense, sorry if you're a recipient of one of those!) is mainly research. In the U.S., after taking a few years of classes, taking comprehensive exams, defending a qualifier, defending a dissertation proposal, giving your sanity, giving your kidney, giving your eyes, giving your heart and your liver (kidding for the last four points, or am I?!), you are expected to produce original research and contribute to your field. So in that sense, of course they differ. But I'm talking of something else, and you'll see below. Here goes:

1.) Collegiality: There seems to be a more collegial atmosphere among medical students. I think they are more likely to support each other and work together as colleagues than grad students are. By its nature, a PhD is very isolating and so it's less likely that grad students are close friends. There is also the fact that the entry classes of medical programs are notoriously larger than PhD programs. At most, a PhD cohort might be, what, 30? And it's usually less than that, with some cohorts having only 5 students. Meanwhile, MD cohorts can be as large as 200. So of course, there is more opportunity for nurturing friendships in medical school. Interestingly, I think in both, it can be cutthroat with too much competition among students, so this depends largely on context and school. Also PhD programs have a lot of attrition rates: fifty percent of doctoral students leave without finishing. Medical schools on the other hand, have an attrition rate of about 5%. I'm not saying collegiality solves anything, I'm saying there is something medical schools are doing that PhD programs aren't.

2.) Concern for students' wellbeing: my family and I were somewhat late for my sister's White Coat Ceremony. Right as we were walking in, the person giving a speech (might have been their dean?) was imploring new medical students to not only focus on school and academics. He said they needed to diversify their time; that if they like movies, they must keep watching films; if it's writing; if it's art; if it's getting manicures and pedicures; that they needed to still exercise; eat well; whatever it was they liked to do, they must do, otherwise they would be on a fast track to burning out. I was so impressed that someone that high up on the food chain showed concern for the most basic welfare of their students. But is it really basic though? The problem is, in academia, it's the opposite. No one cares about your life outside of your dissertation and publishing, or if they do, they never show it. In fact, the trope is that if you are not doing work for 80 hours a week, you are doing it wrong and you are already a failure. It is expected that getting the PhD should consume your entire life. Case in point: there are soooo many medical students and doctors who blog or who are social media influencers. They always have this picture perfect life on Instagram and perfectly curated timelines on Instagram. I used to always wonder how the hell these women have the time to even post. I sometimes forget I even have an Instagram account. I struggle to even keep up on this blog or to focus on my numerous other hobbies. It's not that medical students/doctors are not busy (they take some of the toughest tests and exams in the world), it's that they prioritize doing fun stuff. They prioritize doing things that bring them joy. That is basically nonexistent in academia.

3.) Work life balance: given my last point, it is no surprise a lot of people in medicine talk a lot about the need for achieving a work-life balance. I don't want it to look like I'm romanticizing the medicine profession because I'm not, but at least they are having the conversation. You see a lot of mamas in medicine (there is literally a hashtag like this that exists!) struggling, but trying nonetheless to achieve some semblance of balance. In academia, there is  literally an active discussion to keep you from having kids either in grad school or even when you're on the tenure track. In fact, if you mention not wanting to do something work related because it might be detrimental to your family, they look at you like you're crazy. This recently happened to me. It's like how dare you? And no one really takes you seriously if you are factoring your romantic life or family life into a work decision in grad school. But I have read about medical students who chose resident spots based on where their partners can live or where is close to their family. In fact, they know they need the support system. My sister's school had a completely separate orientation for families, because they believe the support system in necessary. The dean of student affairs personally told my family that we needed to support my sister. No on cares about that in academia. And the truth is we will never be better doctors without our families. I could never have survived these past grueling years without my family. I know this without a doubt.

5). Your identity: by this I mean, the idea that you are more than a doctor. Basically, the sense that there is more to you than what you do; than being a doctor. This is  somewhat related to the above too. I find that it looks like many medical doctors try to be more than doctors.  In academia, there is a weird fixation on the PhD itself. A lot of grad students have their identities wrapped around getting a PhD. Because of this, failure is often personal since it is hard to disentangle who you are from what you do. This thing is so destructive.

6.) Duration of study: This part is tricky. Yes, a medical degree takes four years, whereas a PhD can take anywhere from 4 to 10 years in the United States, with an average of 8 years. This means getting a PhD can translate to losing a lot of opportunity to build wealth, save for retirement, and well live a good life, only to graduate and not get a job because there are no jobs in academia. However,  while a medical degree is just 4 years technically, their training usually takes longer, depending on the field. Residency can take anywhere from 3 to maybe even 7 years. But the different is, once you finish your  medical degree, I believe Residents actually earn a salary, albeit not much. And of course, when they are done, you earn a whole lot to cover for lost years. So go figure.

7.) Support: there is an inherent kindness I noticed, either among medical students or between medical students and their teachers, which was surprising because I had always heard of lots of bullying in medicine. But it's worse in academia: the hazing, just because; the caustic, toxic way of providing  feedback is so prevalent, it's worrisome.  Due to some of the aforementioned problems, it is no surprise we have an alarming rate of suicide among graduate students.

Okay I know I said seven, but I will give one bonus, which is ranking. When it comes to prestige of medical schools, I do not think it matters so much. In other words, I can't imagine a medical doctor not getting hired because they did not go to Harvard Medical School. As long as you go to a good medical school (that is accredited, this should be needless to say but hey, you never know), you will be fine. A PhD on the other hand, erm rankings matter A LOT. Whether your school is top 15 or top 20 might determine where you end up post-PhD. This is particularly important if you want a job in academia. You have to pay real attention to which type of school you go.

So that's it...for NOW. The truth is a lot of this depends on individual contexts, personal circumstances, and your program. I don't think this should sway your decision to go for one instead of the other haha.  I mean deciding to go for either is a huge decision by itself, but these were just some differences I noticed. What about you, ever noticed any difference I missed here? Or did I overstate anything here? In the meantime, let me know if you have any questions or anything you want me to address in this series.


Love,

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