My Anger Journey/Challenge...

Yay! It's July (Well, technically, it's still about fifty minutes to July). Thankful. Anyway, so I thought about starting a 'journey' this past weekend. It's a peculiar one, not because it's not a good idea but because people would hardly think about it. I decided to go one full week without getting angry. Whaaattttt???! I know! It seemed impossible when I thought about it too. I remember listening to a guest Pastor recently, who spoke about the power of anger and offenses; how it eats us up and continues to build up. I know the Bible also says a lot about anger and strife and the potential dangers. Now, I don't know how humanly possible it is to NEVER get angry forever and ever. uhn uhn. I do know though, that we have much more control over our emotions than we think.
                      source                                                               source
Hence, I decided to go a week without getting angry. If at any point during the week, I lose control and get angry, the journey would be extended by another week. ummph. I'm blogging about it, so that I can be more accountable to you, my readers (Thank you guys, by the way for always reading!) and to myself. In case you decided to start this task also, here's the deal; it's not that you won't get angry, you probably will. However, the important thing is what you do with that anger. Do you let it consume you or do you control it, and move on CHEERFULLY? I must state that I do NOT have an anger problem of any kind, not even a temper problem. Although, I could get pretty pissed off sometimes. Lol. This journey is all encompassing, so even complete strangers will have no control over my emotion.

You would think I had announced this before with the amount of temptations that came. ugh. I have had to ignore some instant messages on my Blackberry Messenger today, just because I AM ON A JOURNEY. DON'T TEMPT ME. Lol. Sigh. Honestly, you'd be surprised at the endless possibilities of you getting really angry. Take a deep breath, relax and smile.

So, yes my journey has begun. I'll be back with results.

Have an exceedingly great July and remember to stay positive.

Love, and some laughter,



1.) Life can be so unpredictable, sometimes in a sad way. I pray Kefee's soul rests in peace.

2.) Sefi Atta's Everything Good Will Come is a great read. I had a slight problem with the way it ended but apart from that, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

3.) I just watched an interview of Hilary Clinton by Diane Sawyer. It was so critical that I was beginning to think Diane must have had a prior 'beef' for Hilary.

4.) Still on that interview, how was it that she was able to be so thorough (and maybe objective) with a former secretary of state and maybe future President of America?

5.) The Nigerians complaining about Isha Sesay's interviews of Nigerian Political leaders need to watch that interview.

6.) Why do people tell so much lies? 

7.) I hope the real Piper Kerman was not half as stupid as the Piper Chapman in Orange Is The New Black. The character is so reckless and stupid that I keep wondering how the show can be based on someone's real life story.

9.) Okay back to Hilary. I am somewhat angry that she seems to have suffered more that her husband and Lewinsky, the cheaters. At every opportunity and every milestone in her life, people keep asking her about it,  in such an obnoxious manner.

How Rihanna Taught Me To Say No To Nudity.

Sometimes, I ask myself, 'Why do I blog?'. I know I like to write and I LOVE to be heard. I know that I use it to hone my skills because I don't want to get rusty. I know it is also a way to stay active. But there just has to be something more, right? I think that most importantly, I blog because I want to take advantage of the fact that I have my own little corner on cyber space. So that in the midst of the incessant and mindless things going on on cyber space, I can come here to breathe. So that even though the younger and current generations are being told and taught that 'bad' is new cool, I can use my own little space for the greater good. So that, hopefully, when the generation of my unborn children open their laptops and fancy devices to go on the internet, I will be rest assured that it's not all garbage.

I had not put too much thought on the famous Rihanna's outfit to the CFDA fashion awards, because God knows I do not care. I don't care what celebrities do with their time. I don't care if someone is married for the third or thirtieth time. I don't care if some other people are constantly high on drugs. I don't. I may sometimes laugh at it and shake my head in pity and wonder why people are so deliberately reckless, but for the most part, I don't care. In fact, if it were up to me or if everybody was like me, celebs would be very broke people. Because I certainly can not give what many of them crave the most—Attention. I look at some headlines and news and blog posts and I think to myself "How, for goodness sake, does this concern us?" And then just immediately, I realize that some people live for those things. Some people constantly worry about what their favorite actress is wearing or who their favorite musician is dating. I digress.

Back to Rihanna's dress. I saw the dress and it confirmed my suspicions about her mental state and got it off my mind. But then again, I saw an article this evening that M shared on Facebook. The author titled it "On Rihanna Teaching Me To Say No To Modesty Culture." The title reminded me of some Instagram folks who upload pictures and caption it "Perfect is Boring". Say what? If perfect is boring, heck, I strongly desire to be boring then. Anyway, she explained—very coherently, I must add— that Rihanna used fashion as a buffer against the meanness of others. Should you get naked to prove a point? I wondered. You should not get naked to get back at bullies. No, you EXCEL. Nothing beats excellence. Getting nude as a result of self confidence is either a type of sick joke or a paradox or something only Rihanna can claim to be doing. Let's stick with the latter.

Now, let's put that aside. She said modesty is a ruse and that women are led to believe that their bodies are meant for men. She said  that women are made to believe that modesty protects us and  promotes the idea that women do not own their bodies. In a nutshell, her point was that women should not be dressing for men but for ourselves. Which led me to my next question. Could she (the blogger) honestly tell me that Rihanna stepped out in that dress with the sole aim of preaching self-confidence and feminism? Could she explicitly say Rihanna was not desperately trying to seek attention? The type of attention, which if you ask me is absolutely absurd even for Rihanna. The blogger stated that teenagers are held to very high standards when it comes to dressing, especially at school and are expected to be very modest. She said it was wrong to make females feel ashamed that men are turned on by them. You see that is the problem, teenagers do not dress in scandalous outfit because they are feminists or because they are confident in their bodies. It is in fact the exact opposite. They deal with self esteem issues and find solace in that men are taken aback by their nudity. Teenagers use their bodies as objects. Men do not objectify women as much as we do ourselves. We have believed, somehow that our bodies are weapons. That is the same reason that even though a girl is fully aware that her crush does NOT like her, she still goes ahead to have sex with him. Because she has spent a substantial amount of time convincing herself that somehow, her body and sexual prowess may be enough reasons for him to change his mind. No, not just teenage girls, even adult women convince themselves that their cleavages can help them get a man. Yes, some perverts objectify women but what is even worse, is women objectifying themselves. Oh, I'm sorry but if your social media name is "My ass is badder than yours." or "sexybooties" or  any of those crude names I can't think of right now, don't go around complaining that men only identify you with your physical attributes and endowments and nothing more. Scream until your face turns blue but that is the perception you and only you gave. So, no nudity does not mean you are confident or sexy. Unfortunately, it means the opposite.

Honestly, I understand that male entitlement exists. I sometimes hate that people only suggest modesty in women because of men. It's unfortunate that a woman is expected to make choices on what to wear for fear of being violated by a man. Actually, I also hate that men have been reduced to dogs who have no self control whatsoever. It's also this type of disgust I feel when women get into marriages expecting that the poor husband is definitely going to cheat.  So, I am not saying to dress modestly to avoid being raped. Dress modestly, because it is your choice to do so. Because you understand that even though, God has blessed you with those beautiful physical attributes, you are MUCH MORE than that. There is more to you than uploading or sending tasteless nude pictures of yourself. Yes, you have been very physically blessed, but there is so much more going on for you than a big behind. Dress tastefully because you are very intelligent and insightful and will refuse to be known for just having a bangin' body. The truth is I think that rapists have a sort of mental problem that clothes can't solve. So, for the most part, this is not about them or any other person. It's about you and what you decide to represent. It's about respecting yourself enough to realize that the rest of the world has no business knowing what your breasts look like.



1. I'm thankful to have made it this far into the year. What a privilege!              
2.  Still on gratitude, I want to develop a spirit of gratitude. If I already have one, I want even more.

3.  When I think of the effortless and beautiful friendships I have, I wonder why I ever wasted my time on some others.

4.  The biggest lesson I think I have learnt this year is that a relationship with God is not transactional. The best way I can explain this is by saying righteousness and provision aren't necessarily linked.

5.   I didn't understand the concept of emotional roller coaster until I read about David. Now, I know that it's okay for me to be happy sometimes and to be unhappy some other times. 

6.  I am worried about my home country, Nigeria. Things are declining.

7.   I am also worried about the current twenty-something-year-olds all over. I don't seem to under the  generation even though I am a part of it.

8. I read the entire blog of an anonymous newly wedded blogger today. It's depressing and I will blog about it, whenever I recover from this shock.

On Religion And Atheism.

My last post. The page-views blew my mind. It reminded me that people are very interested in relationships and marriages. Most importantly, it captured my exact thoughts on 'Soul-mates' and 'The One'. I have another thing to share today, something of a more controversial nature. I am actually enjoying sharing my findings from cyber space here. Apart from giving you all a break from my 'rambling', it will also help to see things from a different perspective. Sometimes, different from what we normally are used to. Enjoy.

We truly have not realized how much power, by default, our minds possess.
The number of atheists/free thinkers will only be on the rise.
Just look at what we've made of religion? And what we have allowed it make out of us...
I salute atheists. I mean to commit your life to proving that something or someone doesn't exist is dauntingly brave.
But the respect/caution that they show towards Islam shows that they are not anti-religion or anti-god but are mostly anti-Christian.

Back to how the church of today is helping more people embrace atheism.

Scenario 1: I'm in church leading prayer. "Pray that God opens the eyes of your understanding and gives you revelation into this or that."
People start mumbling words

Scenario 2: "Pray that every padlock behind the problems of your life from your father and mother side should crumble."
Immediately the whole place becomes vibrant. Somersaults. Claps. Tantrums. All sorts.

Our people obviously identify with a padlock and some red cloth in the village than with a loving God willing to reveal Himself to them.
We accepted this God concept through the lenses of our traditional beliefs. We [humans] really don't see things as they are, but as we are.
Pause for a moment. Is this an African thing? Or a human thing?

Standing out, as cool as it sounds, is never pretty in real life. The Israelites always went back to gods they could see and touch.

You'd wonder why one would go back to idols after seeing awesome miracles. Trust me you'll do same. In fact, you are doing same.
We always want to 'be like the other nations'. Want to have a king like the others. Want to have gods 'we can see and worship'
So. Since we can't see this God and don't want to commit to knowing him, we'll blindly follow anyone that claims to know Him.
So a man speaks well. He becomes leader of thousands. Has a random dream, calls it a call from God. Right in the church, idolatry blooms.

Many people lose a little bit of their faith when news of a Pastor's scandal goes viral. That is becoming often nowadays. More faith...

Disappointed you must be. Faith? You must not lose. This is the true test of who your God is: God or the man?
Don't hold any man in too high esteem. Honour and respect Yes. But man is always man. Man can fail. Man fails.

In summary, my attitude towards atheists is love and empathy. More love though. We helped them reinforce their beliefs.

A note on the Nigerian church? We are not as spiritual as we seem (to the outside)
Some claim we have prayed too much with no results. Prayed? Your own prayer you mean?

In closing, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Ok. That's it.
I think I have started a conversation on here. Or helped fan to flames an existing conversation.
I will now sit back and moderate.