Re: My Anger Journey/Challenge.

I AM BACK! Lol. That was an over dramatic intro. Anyway, I did promise to be back with results on my ANGER JOURNEY/CHALLENGE which I blogged about here.  And I am happy to tell you it was a success, yay! I didn't report back when it was exactly a week because I was quite busy. But as soon as I had the time, I decided to, mostly because quite a lot of people asked me about it and how possible it could be. It was possible and as a matter of fact, it wasn't just a one week challenge for me, it's now a lifelong journey and lifestyle. I think the most important thing to note is that in that moment of anger, you need to be still and like a part of Proverbs (or was it Psalms?) I stumbled on (totally coincidental!) during the challenge said; "Instead of letting anger eat you up, just lay on your bed and think about the issue." I paraphrased that, but I think that sometimes, the more you think about a situation, the more you realize how irrelevant and maybe petty it really is. Voila.

Besides, the story of the student of Redeemers University who gruesomely murdered his own father and cut him into pieces reminds me how important it is to keep our emotions in check. Self control is such a priceless virtue. When I first heard that story, my biggest fear was that Nigerians were beginning to breed wackos like they have here in America. Then I read about Wale Gates' (a different person entirely) testimony of how he survived his own abusive father. I began to understand just a little bit that it could have been anybody. Wale Gates' story was so pathetic; his father was extremely close to killing him. Now, I am sure about sixty percent of Nigerian kids suffered some kind of psychological or emotional abuse at one point or the other but that amount of physical abuse though, woah! I'm thankful for my parents; may God continue to bless them. My own father never touched me, my mother gave me a few slaps and maybe beat me once but even that had it's limits and it stopped a LONG time ago. I should add that my parents are DISCIPLINARIANS, yes in caps. The level of our upbringing was above par, no kidding. That means my parents prove that you don't need to hit a child to raise a disciplined child. Wale's father beat him even up till he was in his twenties. What is really worrisome in many of the cases of Nigerian parents 'disciplining' their children is that, a large percentage are not doing it because they are that concerned about the welfare of that child but because they don't want a bad name for themselves. I am not kidding you. For instance, Wale's father was a Deacon, so his reputation must have meant a lot to him. That was why even though Wale washed his car but not the EXACT way he wanted, he almost murdered his son but for the poor boy's reflexes. The same way some mothers don't care much about their daughter's sexual atrocities as long as she does not get pregnant. It's a maddening world.

Back to the Redeemers University student. I am so sorry for his family, what a double tragedy. He doesn't seem sorry though, I mean yes he is sorry. But according to his speech, he's sorry for his Mum's loss and even apologized to his sister. But he's not entirely sorry he killed his father. By the way, how does the legal system in Nigeria work? Why is a SUSPECT already spilling so much? But for this speech he gave and the fact that he literally pieced his father, a good criminal lawyer could have claimed self defense especially with a proof of an abusive pattern. Look at me with all my law jargon, I have never stepped a foot inside a law class or even a courtroom! Blame it on an overdose of Law and Order. Lol.

Anyway, I do hope, other Nigerian kids don't begin to follow this pattern. Abeg o. We have been raised to withstand a lot, especially emotionally and that's why I think we are strong people. So I hope other kids don't ever take a cue from this. On the other hand, I do hope that Parents generally learn to not provoke their children also. Again, I am extremely sorry for that family. This is a very devastating situation, one that would stick on their minds forever. Sigh.

Love, and some peace,

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