"A person who habitually expresses negative or pessimistic views."

At one point or the other in our lives, we have all encountered people like this. I should paint a picture. Everything is going well for you or seemingly so. Perhaps, things are not even going well for you but you are about to make a decision. Sometimes, life altering decisions. Other times, just a simple decision. Then that person—and it really can be anybody; friend, family or foe—hears about this decision. At this juncture, they jump in, under the guise of having your best interest at heart, of course. Uhunn. Wet blanket. They usually have one advice or the other to give, mostly the advice they will never take heed to themselves. You know what's worrisome? These people are hardly enemies or strangers. Oh yes, they are mostly friends. Ah friends.

"Hey girl, I just got these new denims. How do I look?"

"Nah. This doesn't work. Or maybe it's the picture. You always look somehow though in all these pants you get. Your dresses too are not nice at all."

"Hey X, I want to get a certificate course in Jumpology."

"What? No! What on earth do you need that for eh? It's useless. Why not Sitology or maybe Standology. Forget Jumpology please."

"Hey you, I finally decided to take that job."

"That job? The one I said makes no sense at all? Better don't take it."

"Hey T, I am looking at starting my own business and quitting my job."

"*laughs hard* You? Start a business? You'd better not try that. You? You barely got a C in Entrepreneurial Studies. How on earth will you manage? Don't come begging me for money o."

And so on and so forth. Now, as you may have noticed, I always add a caveat to most things I say. Sometimes, you really do have a stupid idea. Not everybody who counsels you or criticizes you is a Naysayer. I hate to burst your bubble but that decision may really be unwise. So you should definitely still always seek counsel. At least that's what I'll do. But Naysayers do have some particular characteristics I think I have noticed and decided to mention below.

1) Anger; These kinds of people harbor deep feelings of anger/resentment/bitterness towards you. And no, it's usually not because you did anything to them. It may also be that there's something about you or about what you do that threatens or undermines them . Again, you most likely don't even know about this. These kinds of people use anger to thwart the newfound joy and zeal in you.


2) Mockery And Sarcasm; This is when you start hearing sarcastic and rhetorical questions. Sometimes, naysayers use ridicule against you, they mock you and tease you. They will probably be waiting for you to 'fall' so they can tease you or affirm their thoughts. "Oh of course, I knew you could never get an A. hahaha"

3) Threats And Intimidation; Maybe not as directly as in "Hey, I'm gonna kill you if you succeed" No. It is usually with subtlety. They oppose you with intimidation. They make it their jobs to remind you of the many things that can and will go wrong should you decide to take that huge step.

4) Discouragement And Exhaustion; I once read  a message from a man of God that said something along the lines of  "Satan knows that the halfway point in any work is the most effective time to strike. When a new project begins, there is plenty of enthusiasm. 'Let's arise and build! Let's do it!'. If you get over the midway hump and see the completion drawing near, there is another surge of enthusiasm. 'We're almost there! Let's get it done.' But right in the middle of things, exhaustion and discouragement set in. People have lost the initial zeal and all they can see are the piles of rubble still waiting to be removed. They feel like quitting." It is usually at such points naysayers come in, they discourage you. They remind you of the many troubles the project has brought and is still bringing. They let you see reason why you should quit.

5)Negativism; This is probably the most obvious of all. I shouldn't say much on this. Let me reiterate something though, MISERY LOVES COMPANY. I think it is hard for a complete stranger to transmit their negativity to you. It is usually someone very close to you. Honestly, I wanted to remove this from the list because while writing this I realized that many of your families and friends would inadvertently try to transmit their negativity to you. We are in a world filled with so much chaos that people sometimes find it hard to maintain any positivity.  When I hopped on the #100happydays tag band wagon on Instagram, I'm sure some people may have thought "What's doing this one?" or "What's making her happy sef?". Whereas they may even have many more reasons to be happier than I am but unlike me, they have refused to look inwards and realize that we ALL have one reason or another to be happy. So, people (myself inclusive) will whine and complain around you, they will tell you the many things wrong with the world. Pay them no mind, stay positive. I'll conclude this point by saying while all naysayers are negative, I strongly believe not all negative people are naysayers. I don't know how to explain the last sentence any further.

The effect of all of the above is one thing; FEAR.You have seen anger, you have heard mockery and threats. Of course, you are wearing down through exhaustion. Even the devil mostly uses fear to paralyze people and keep you from doing any significant thing. "You have never done it before and you don't know if you can do it. Maybe it's fear of rejection. If you try it, others will think you are a fanatic and stand off from you. It may be a fear of conflict. If you do what God wants you to do, you know that you'll catch flak. So you back off."

Instead of letting naysayers bring you down emotionally and discourage you, you should respond with prayer, hard-work and just focus on God. Of course, you shouldn't just pray and do nothing. You should put your hearts into your work and not get distracted.

I should also add that, the fear of becoming a naysayer should not stop anybody from being honest especially with friends and family. The thing with constructive criticism is that you are doing it out of love. You are not doing it to bring anybody down. If any of my friends wear something that is not flattering, I will definitely let them know. I won't  try to destroy the person's self-esteem though or just use the opportunity to show my how much I despise them even though we are supposedly friends. If someone tells you to shed some weight, they are not naysayers, Lol. As a matter of fact, they love you. Haha. On a more serious note though, I may have been a victim of people trying to shut down my dreams one way or another in the past. I recently remembered and decided to blog about it. This is not a personal thing to anyone though. I just wish people would stop channeling so much hatred and envy towards another person and begin to help one another.

     "According to recognized aerotechnical tests, the bumblebee cannot fly because of the shape and weight of his body in relation to the total wing area. The bumble bee does not know this, so he goes ahead and flies anyway" - Igor Sikorsky 


  1. I love that quote from the pastor about satan striking at the middle point. Makes so much sense.
    Lol @ sometimes you really do have a stupid idea.

    1. I know right, the quote also resonated with me. Thank you my dear for reading :-)

  2. As usual, a good piece from the brilliant mind of a beautiful young lady.

    (1). Firstly, now, you can understand why I always listen to "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson.

    (2). Secondly, this is all the more reason why I always keep to my father's advice that having a few friends who are "friends indeed" is far better than surrounding yourself with hundreds of friends who are collectively "a pain in the butt".

    (3). Never in your life forget a Yoruba adage that says " era ko fe popo denu" (the love that ants claim to have for a dry piece of wood is neither sincere nor selfless).

    1. Thank you daddy for the very kind words. And for the advice. :-)