Friday Reflections

1.) Noble Igwe and Olamide Adedeji are "competing" for the Bestman position at Ebuka's wedding. I thought it was very cute and funny when I read about it. Haha. That's so much love.

2.) Loretta Lynch has finally been confirmed as the Attorney General of the federation. Yay! The first black female Attorney General ever.

3.) Something happened yesterday. Grey's Anatomy lost another major character. I was in real shock. I still can NOT believe it. Rest in peace, McDreamy...and #MerDer. It was a sad night on T.V. Enough said.

4.) "America is so accepting of everything, but America will still have security follow a black man at Neiman Marcus while he's shopping, for fear that he might steal"- Wendy Williams. There's a reason I love that woman.

5.) Bruce Jenner's 17 year old high school dropout daughter is gallivanting around the world with a twenty-five-year old, and getting the most ridiculous cosmetic surgeries but he'd rather have a two-hour sit down to discuss his transition process from a man to a woman (which, frankly is none of our business) but erm okay. Welcome to the 21st century, I guess?

6.) You wake up one morning and your 65 years old Daddy wants to become Mommy.

7.) The weather is confused Lol.

8.) It's easy to get our priorities all mixed up

9.) Let me get back to my life

Of Films, Words, and Social Media

I did something "annoying" this past weekend. I watched two Nigerian films on Netflix. The second was somehow, so I went on Twitter to criticize it. Somehow, the director/film-maker saw the tweet. HOW???? I did not use any hash tags or tag anyone. I wrote:

When I saw that he replied, I felt a little bit guilty. I realized I might have been too blunt or too critical. Imagine putting a lot of work into something, and then logging on to Twitter to see it thrashed in only 140 characters. I began to understand even more the power of our words, especially on internet. It's easy to hide behind our computers and phones and type harsh words against someone else. Of course, if I had thought he would see it, I don't think I would have put that out there. Creativity involves a lot of work, and it's mostly not as appreciated as it should be. I myself, I work on a magazine, I blog, I sometimes write posts on more acclaimed websites like Bellanaija, so I can understand how painful it would be, if someone commented somewhere that my work was a piece of crap. 

Yet, this movie was not all that it had been hyped out to be. This wasn't just a case of a movie falling below expectation. It was more than that for me. I felt like if I could dedicate two hours of my time that could have been used to churn out papers to watch a movie, why could that movie not have been spectacular? How do we balance it out then? Telling the absolute truth, yet not damaging someone's feelings or discouraging them. I told my siblings about this gentleman's very polite response. I appreciated his response because in the world we are now in, any and every criticism is taken as hate and no one wants to be corrected. But to so graciously read and accept a criticism, I thought it was a great thing to do. I decided to respond politely, while not deviating from the truth still. This is a film-maker whose works have been recognized internationally, so he should be used to criticisms now. 

I had done my bit of good Lol. He still responded again! 

"Lol my dear it is alright. I am laughing now actually. yeah that is the whole point actually. Confusing life from down here o."

That's my kind of guy. Take the good with the bad. We typically only want to be celebrated and never criticized. But life can not be like that. There's always the good and the bad. Hopefully, people will learn to be nicer to each other on internet. And I also hope more celebrities and regular people take a cue from this man. This right here is how to accept criticisms. Not every time call someone a hater, sometimes listen, and learn.

The other Nigerian movie I watched was October 1, which was phenomenal. I did not tweet about that or commend the film-maker lol. As soon as I saw the less-than-amazing-one however, I jumped on Twitter to make noise. Isn't that how messed up life can sometimes be?
Indeed, "technology is a box."


Friday Reflections: Marriage

1.) Everybody is getting married. That's no longer a thing we say just to joke. Everybody is literally getting married or engaged by the second.

2.) Is it our age? The presence of social media? Or are more people actually getting married now than ever?

3.) Oh well. Congrats to everyone.

4.) If you're feeling really down, or extremely depressed; so much that you can't handle, you should talk to someone. No one should have to go through anything terrible on their own.

5.) Why is it that when we fail, it lingers on a lot, and we don't seem to forget? When we succeed however, we forget so easily, and move on exceedingly fast onto the next thing.

6.) Sometimes, when people are going through a rough patch, they use it as an opportunity/excuse to treat others anyhow.

7.) Newsflash; everyone is going through one thing or the other. The way we handle it just differs.

8.) One problem these people who get married two minutes after meeting each other go through is that they never really know each other. For instance in those two minutes, how can I tell how you handle problems, or your composure in the face of challenges?

9.) If a guy proposes to a woman who he has never ever discussed marriage/the future with, his brain needs to be checked.

10.) So much marriage talk.

11.) Statistics kicked my ass today. I can't even begin to explain.

12.) I've had such a stressful week (emotionally, physically, and mentally) I'm thankful for this blog, where I can come to just sort of relax.

13.) I would look forward to the weekend, but I already have too many things piled up. Oh well.

14.) Thankful for all the opportunities to be busy.

On Selfishness and Love

I have been repeatedly called selfish. Lol. I have been called a lot of things (which frankly I don’t give a darn about) but ‘selfish’ hurt my feelings. Haha. It is weird anyone would call me selfish though, because I am a natural worrier. I worry about the world, I worry about a friend’s problem, I worry about my family, I worry about myself. I worry worry worry. Everybody is killing each other, immorality has taken over the world, another child has been kidnapped etc. These things legit give me headaches. I ‘cry’ more than the bereaved. That was who I was. See, this had to stop. The more I studied the word of God, the more I realized all these monstrous and vile happenings are just a part of the world. Now because I am an extreme person, a black or white person, it was either one or the other: either I am overly bothered or I just The older I became, the more drawn to the latter I was. I shut out completely. I paid no mind to the news, because the news is the most depressing phenomenon on earth. I ignored protests and noise generally. I needed my sanity. Perhaps, this persona I took on started to affect even my personal life. Don’t get me wrong, I did not start to discard people’s problems as nothing. No. I just started to see it as “one of those things” and move on.

Yorubas have a saying; if we tell someone we've never heard of their kind of problem, we are only trying to scare them. Nothing is new under the sun. I started to face my life and ignore stuff. I looked out for myself more. But this became rather extreme. I would see the goriest things on social media, and just scroll up to more ‘interesting’ gists. Ah. I would hear the most vile things, and just shrug. I would hear of someone’s death, and just tell myself "na wa o" and that was it. The most recent one was the kidnapping of those three kids in Lagos. Everyone seemed so concerned, but I just wasn’t. In part because I was too consumed with work. I searched and searched within me for an emotion, nothing. Ah, is someone becoming coldhearted? Then I watched the video of their mother in tears, and finally I felt pity. Whew. What is the big deal? You ask. I’ll tell you. Jesus did not die for me to carry on with my life like no one else matters. Kindness is a fruit of the spirit, and in many ways, Christ preached selflessness and sacrifice and love. LOVE; the biggest message of the gospel. How can I say I love God, if I do not love those that I can see physically?

I know deep down I am not a coldhearted, hateful, selfish person. I know it’s a coping mechanism. I also know I have no control over many things. However, I also know I can do better than turn a blind eye. There are few things I practice to help remove my focus from just me. Like praying for others. Actually, that has never really been a problem. I am that person that prays for her friends and family a LOT. The more you pray for them though, the more interested you are in whatever problem they are going through. But praying for family and close friends is really normal, what isn’t normal is taking a minute to pray for the world. For instance, the Chibok girls, you can say a prayer to God to remember them and keep them very safe. You can pray for christians dying every day because of their faith. You can pray for this extremely corrupt and immoral world. It helps. I still do not believe being depressed about the world’s problems makes much sense, but raising awareness and educating people (RESPECTFULLY) on issues does help. Talking to people about love, and LIVING it does help. We cannot and should not conform to the world because we are helpless. We can however, make a little difference in how we live our lives.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels but did not love others, I would only be a noisy gang or a clanging cymbal…If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but did not love others, I would be NOTHING…”


P.S: Happy birthday to my sister. I have wished her a happy birthday on every social media account I own, I just had to round it up here. Haha.

An Ode To Netflix

Netflix is bae

When I count my blessings, I don't forget to count Netflix.

Netflix has seen me cry.

Netflix had seen me laugh.

Netflix has been there, playing endlessly when I'm working in the wee hours.

Netflix will sometimes ask if I'm still there, how caring!

Netflix has watched me eat.

Netflix has been my  best buddy.

And now Netflix has some Nollywood blockbusters...

Tears of joy...

Don't judge me.

Netflix is bae.

And then I heard, Kunle Afolayan's October 1 was on Netflix...ah Netflix is bae.

My Hair-Story

This past weekend, I did what was probably the most drastic thing I have ever done—I cut my hair. To be clear, I did not do it on a whim; I am still not that spontaneous. I had thought about it for long before deciding. And even after deciding to cut it off, I planned it. I remember saying here that I was never going to cut my hair. That’s why they say never say never. Haha. I never would have once thought I’d be one to cut off my hair though. I had never even cut my hair before. So why did I cut it? Maybe I’ll be able to answer that question as I type further along.

Friday Reflections

1.) Nigeria's elections are over.

2.) On one hand, I'll miss ALL the banter about the election. On the other hand, the process revealed too many unintelligent people, and I'm just glad we are over all that.

3.) It made me wonder, can I marry someone with completely different ideologies than mine?

4.)  Speaking of marriage, I gave my Mom a hint of what I think the next five years of my life may look like. She immediately expressed concerns about where and why marriage isn't tucked somewhere in those plans.

5.) Life is funny. Or rather, parents are funny.

6.) I believe I have a sense of humor to some extent, but I can't ever understand why some people deem it fit to crack lame jokes in very serious situations.

7.) There should be limits to sarcasm and jokes; why would I tell you I was stranded for eight hours on the highway, and you'll still have the effrontery to make a silly joke out of it?

8.) Yeah miss me with that. Call me uptight or whatever. I laugh a LOT, but I know where to draw the line.

9.)  I have been so disciplined with blogging these past few weeks. I don't think it'll be possible for the next few's going to be very busy for me.

10.) It's Easter...Happy Easter!!

11.)Time and time again, I am thankful Christ found me worthy enough to die for my sins. I am very underserving, but I know (without a doubt) that if he had to do it again, he would. Thank you, Jesus.

12.) My sister, tired of me having just 4 songs on my phone, picked up my phone and sent me some songs. She sent me the exact songs I would want to listen to. How can someone know me so well?

My Love and Hate Relationship with Maths

It is a confirmed fact that Mathematics has come to stay permanently. There is no doubting that anymore. When we were in junior secondary school (middle school for my non-Nigerian audience), it was always "just wait till you get to senior secondary school, if you are not in the sciences, it won't matter as much." Okay. But then we got to senior secondary school (high school) and then, it became, "you won't get into any University if you fail Maths." Okay.  First degree for me meant freedom from maths (Thank God) because I was in the humanities. But then came time for a graduate degree. "Oh look, you gotta ace the quantitative section on GRE. If not kiss that prospect of an acceptance goodbye." Okay. Blood and sweat again. Graduate school came, "Oh Statistics class is compulsory, because the job market is hella crazy right now, and employers are looking for candidates who are quite quantitative focused." So now, I have just given up. Maths is a horrible tragedy that as come to stay.

The truth is I am not terrible at Maths (I never was), I just loathe the subject; I have absolutely no interest in it. Let's analyze issues in plain English or whatever, just get the formulas off my face. Ironically, I am good with numbers. There is no friend or family whose number I don't know off the top of my head. Or what does it mean to be good with numbers?

Anyway, I remembered an incidence tonight and thought to blog about it. See, at the end of every term in secondary school, my Mom and I always did a particular 'dance.' She would look at my report sheet: I would ace my Literature class, ace my Government class, ace my C.R.S class, even ace my Economics class (we all know Economics at that level was child's play), ace my Accounting class, ace my English class (and believe me, this is impressive. Q.C English teachers had NO mercy)... but then we would get to Maths and Biology and it would be terribly mediocre: some terms, I barely passed the passmark. My mother would talk and talk and talk  all through the journey home from boarding school. She would remind me how hopeless a future without Maths and Biology was. She would start to rack her brain to figure out how to get me extra lessons during the holidays, because again, what future did anyone have without Maths and Biology? In those days (unsure about now) a WASSCE result was hopeless without those two subjects. I was never bothered though. I knew it wasn't a case of being smart or not, it was an absolute lack of interest in these classes. My Biology classes were such a drag, and my first Biology teacher did not help matters. (Hello Mr. Ayuba.)

So this dance always happened. Normal stuff. I got used to it. A few days into the holiday, everything would be back to normal. How do parents have so MUCH patience? LOL. There was one term it did not happen though, I remember clearly. It was the third term of S.S.1. I had an 81% in Maths. It was memorable. It was thrilling. It was exciting. What made it even more memorable was how many people had failed Maths woefully that term. It was so bad that the Principal had to call for emergency meeting because considering the reports, about half the students in S.S.1 (we called it Corridor. I miss Q.C!) were going to have to repeat. I heard the news from Abuja, where I was enjoying an excursion with some of my classmates. Oh what a feeling? I remember the exam being unusually easy for me. I went for the exam with little studying (I never bothered wasting my time with Maths) and the exam was really GOOD, I had a 57 out of 70. I had got a 24 on my tests so, 81. See I remember something from almost nine years ago, because it was a gooood feeling. Success is so exhilarating. I remember my Mom being really happy, and beaming with pride.

Imagine my surprise when I scored higher in the quantitative section of GRE  than in the verbal section lol. It then occurred to me that we can't always dismiss our weaknesses. Sometimes, all it takes is to divert a little more interest and take the time to know it. That has worked for me with Maths. Higher level statistics on the other hand, LOL. Seriously though, I believe if we put out minds to something, we can conquer it. However, using our strengths to our advantage does not hurt at all. So what if you are only good at one thing? Use that one thing to shine. Use it so much, it brings you before kings. Besides, there is no one who is born perfect.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore, is not an act, but a habit." -Aristotle.