Relationship Goals?

I like 2Face a lot. I also respect him. He is not just very talented; he’s also very hard-working. Of the many Nigerian artistes (and there are MANY), I think he’s one of the very few who actually sings songs with great content that also become hits. I mean, to have been in a game for about 20 years and still be as relevant, that’s not an easy feat. On top of all that, I have heard how extremely humble he is. So yes, I respect him a lot. Annie Idibia: I don’t know very much about. For a very long time, I didn’t know she was actually an actor, I thought she was just “2Face’s wife.” Basically, I am indifferent about her.

Everyone knows their story; they’ve been together since forever, through thick and thin. It’s a beautiful story (somewhat poignant), just not one I would ever want to relate to or wish for my sister or friends. Imagine my surprise when during and after the “Fortyfied” concert in celebration of his fortieth birthday, many people posted pictures of them and termed it “goals”. That wasn’t a problem for me. Everybody’s goals differ. However, what was a little uncomfortable for me was that people called Annie “patient”, “tolerant”. They said that unlike women of nowadays who are impatient and who only want successful men, Annie “persevered” and is now reaping the fruits of that perseverance. HUH?


You mean that dating a guy who is sleeping with other women at the same time he’s sleeping with me, thereby exposing me to the billion and one STDs out there means I’m patient? No. Perseverance is not having a child the same age as the other child(ren) my husband had by other women. Tolerance is not being with a man who not only cheats on me but does so evidently and so disrespectfully that THE WHOLE WORLD knows. No. That’s like saying in ten years’ time (assuming Ciara and Future worked out) that Ciara was a tolerant woman to have stayed with that irresponsible dude who has babies with about a dozen other women—I am exaggerating here, but humor me.

I am not condemning Annie for choosing 2Face or sticking with him. That’s her choice, and it’s valid. I am saying that is not a yardstick for measuring tolerance or loyalty or patience. I am saying the fact that I’d rather go for a person who respects me, or who is successful, or who is intelligent does not make me a greedy woman. No. If anything, it’s an evidence that I know what I deserve and what I bring (or will bring) to the table.

It means I understand that I am fearfully and wonderfully created. I am beautiful and I am smart. Most importantly, I am fiercely loved by a most high God. So no, I will not wait on a man who does not recognize that. You shouldn’t too.



  1. I fully agree with you on this.
    Many at times ladies are forced to put with such because there seems to be little or no choice.
    For someone who has stayed with an abusive partner for years also would also be described as tolerant and patient but let be realistic for the unmarried ones. No one should be tolerant with such evil.
    Back to those who see Annie and 2face story as their goal. Lool . let me ask what happened to the other ladies 2face impregnated. Were they not patient and tolerant too. Lol. I think Annie just got favoured to be the one who gets the ring.

    1. Lol exactly. It's almost as if, she's the "winner" in a contest I wouldn't even want to be in. I just feel like we all could do better when talking about these things for young girls especially. It is okay to wait for the person that respects you. It's ok to leave someone who doesn't. Thanks, Sola for taking the time to read and even comment.

  2. Lol no, you weren't too judgemental. In fact I definitely don't think you were judgmental at all. Those are definitely not goals any lady should aspire to.

    I respect her and I'm not knocking her choice. But I'm certainly not aspiring for such either.

    In terms of being perseverant, she probably was. Erase the baby mama drama and you'll see that she stuck with him through thick and thin. Right from Plantashun Boiz, to the break up, to him going solo, all of that was a process. So let's even imagine he was 'okay' financially during Plantashun Boiz season. Things must have gotten a little rough after that. He probably had to start from scratch again. So yea, in that vein I would say she was patient. But definitely not when it comes to the baby mama drama. She probably just thought she had invested too much of her life into him and did not want to "miss out".

    1. I am glad I didn't come off as too judgmental Lol. Yeah I agree with you, she was tolerant and patient in other areas. I just feel like that's not what people are actually referring to when they call her those things, or when they call her "forgiving". They mostly mean that because she stayed regardless of all the other women, she must be a good man. I feel like some men think that till a woman can tolerate their cheating ways, she's not "ride or die" enough. And while, I am very loyal, there are some things that are excessive. Thanks Tomi, for stopping by!