On Trusting God and Not Depending on Mere Mortals

When I was younger, I used to expect a lot from people. Let me explain. Friends, acquaintances, family, just humans generally; I just expected folks to do better. I thought there was a fixed expectation as to how people should act. I thought human decency and courtesy should be reciprocated. It's just commonsensical, I thought. That was stupid of me. Now I know for certain that I have no control over how others act; I can mostly only control how I respond. And seeing this post by Eziaha reminded me how often people fall prey to this.

Let me tell you something, God is ultimately your SOURCE. You can't depend on human beings. More recently, God reminded me of this. Everything I was depending on one person or the other for, such that if they sailed through, I would have said "Without XYZ, I would not have got this or done that; everything failed, no one came through. No kidding. And in retrospect, most of my life has been that way. Ultimately, everything I am I owe to God's divine provision and grace. It's my plan to always depend on God. Because the other option is to rely on people. See, the thing is you and I are really fallible and very undependable. I've always said this: people are inherently selfish. Yes, you and I. Of course some more so than others. So chill with idolizing people so much that you forget they have their own responsibilities and problems. Also, learn boundaries. For your sake and others. There is no point being so hurt over your own personal problems that you blame it on others. No bueno.

Now that being said, I know there are a few people out there that are just generally awful. They are your "friends" but will never ever support you or your endeavors; they will never call/text to find out if you are even still alive; and when you text, they never respond; they never tell you what's going on in their lives; On your birthday, crickets; On your worst days, more crickets; they are just never there, point blank. Well, till they need you. Now that's toxic. Normally, I would say confront them and let them know how disappointed you are. But you know what, forget it. Seriously, just forget it.
I'm not saying to take on and keep accepting the excesses of others, or worse allow them walk over you. I'm saying most times, such people are not worth the stress. Don't expect anything else. So should you treat them the same way? YES. Lol. Okay, but as a Christian, I feel compelled to say "NO". Hear me out. There is forgiveness and there is ACCOUNTABILITY. Keep people accountable and GUARD YOUR HEART jealously. Yes be courteous to them, but accord them the level of respect they accord you. Or at most, STAY IN YOUR LANE.

Most importantly, remember to not put pressure on people anyway. I like to call myself a one woman army, not because I don't have good people around, but I know not to put too much pressure on people or set unrealistic expectations, especially considering how fleeting relationships are. I really am a one woman army at the end of the day, and don't bother my head too much over people's actions. I do what I can, when I can so I won't go around expecting people to be there for me the way I was for them. Nah. Once I realize you are not dependable, okay bye boo. Like Eziaha mentioned in that post, I used to really need other people to "gas me up" (Literally just learnt this phrase from Chance the Rapper while watching BET Awards). I would be offended when I wasn't getting the support I thought I needed or encouragement or pity. Again like Eziaha, God took me through a phase of so many disappointments, a wilderness if you will, to wean me off that nonsense lol. Now I gas myself up, all by myself. I have learnt to be my own cheerleader and army of one. I trust in God and find it easier to maintain friendship this way 'cos I have literally ZERO expectations from people.

So really, chill. Honestly, chill and you will be okay. Trust God, and really trust yourself a little bit more. Be there for you.

Love, and some chill,

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