The Danger of Lying And More

Thanks to some random (and insignificant) happenings coupled with the kind of reflection that only happens at the end of the year, I have been thinking a lot about lying and its effects on interpersonal relationships, not to mention how hurtful it can be. I usually joke that the thing the white people hate being called the most (after racist) is "liar". But it's true; people flare up and turn red when you imply they just lied. But they lie anyway. Just like people are racist anyway. But petty lies have become even more irritating than usual. Why do people lie? Why are people so deceptive even when the circumstance does not warrant it? The thing about lying is that it is a breach of trust.  When you lie to someone, you are breaching their trust. In that sense, a person's trust can be likened to a brick or a rock that each lie chips off pieces from. This is why no matter how many apologies you give after being caught red handed in a lie, often times the trust can never be restored.

I think it irks me even more because I am a fairly straightforward person and I can be fiercely loyal too, and in a world where most people are anything but straightforward, you can see how maddening this is. I think this is why if you absolutely can, you should try not to lie to people that you care about. I'm not naive: there are some situations that warrant you lying, probably to protect the person you are lying to. I understand that. But most cases, people lie to save their own asses or to be manipulative or to take advantage of your friendship; not anything noble.

Just stop lying.

Or don't.


On a lighter note, Merry Christmas! I hope you had an amazing day? And if not, that's fine too. It mattered a lot to me to share on my Instagram, especially among all the very cute family pictures being posted (mine included 😁) that if yesterday was hard, know that it really is just a day. If you have a difficult relationship with your family, or perhaps you had to spend Christmas without a loved one, or you are going through a rough break-up, or any other form of hardship, you will survive. Honestly, it is just a day of the 365 in a year. I think we will be okay.

I was especially thinking about kids at the border detention centers covered in tinfoils and separated from their mommies and daddies, and the amount of hurt in their little hearts. I am hoping 2020 is the year that we do better for those kids, one way or another.

Oh yes, my holiday read is "Children of Blood and Bone". I just said on Instagram that while the author's art of storytelling is genius and she is of course a brilliant writer, something does not sit right with me: this is either because of the genre OR because you can tell she carefully crafted the book with the intention (or desire) that it would be made into a movie. Something just feels somehow...I can't be more specific because I don't know dammit Lol. But she is not just black, she is Nigerian, so yes we will be supporting her  hahaha.

How is it that I have blogged more in the month of December than the entire year hahaha?

Anyway, just in case I'm not back here before 2020 (!), have a great rest of the year.




  1. NOt plugging again but we spoke on our thoughts on this book and we didn't like it very much. I didn't like it because it didn't seem authentic. It seemed catered to the foreign audience. I won't be reading any of the sequels. Life is too short to endure books I don't enjoy.

    1. Exactly! Yes, that's it: you nailed it. She catered to the foreign audience and tried a little too hard to do that. I think that's why it's almost tedious to read. Haha at enduring books you don't enjoy. Same, sis! Although this book was a gift from my dear, dear friend and I really want to complete it for that reason Lol. Also yes please plug along! I would actually love to see your thoughts on the book, so if you can share or send me a link to it, I would really appreciate