How to Tell Your Boss You Need to Watch the World Cup at Work

Hi people! First of all, Go Team USA! As I write this, the US Men’s Team just won the game against Iran. Listen, all my geopolitical/foreign policy/international nerds out there, don’t let anyone tell you you’re irrelevant haha. No, I have been rooting for USA even when they played against England, and were quite the underdog in that game (side eye to some people).

Okay enough of my amateur soccer commentary. 

If you are wondering, it is both soccer and football. Simple.

As everyone now knows, the World Cup is ongoing in Qatar (ahem, story for another time). If you’re not me (who is NOT ashamed to tell you she has no interest whatsoever in sports), you want to watch. Now, some of the pivotal games happen while people are at work (at least in the US/North America). The U.S. versus Iran game was at 2:00PM. I do not like to sit for almost two hours to watch grown people run around a field, so work or not I most likely would not have watched. Still, I would have loved to catch some highlights here and there as I CHEER FOR TEAM USA. But I was at work and in back-to-back-to-back meetings no less, so I literally saw none of it. Again, for me it was not the worst thing in the world. I just had to Google the scores and as long as America won, I was good. That’s all I needed. 

But then I thought of football nerds and people for whom they must watch every single match. People like my brother, for instance, who treat football like the oxygen we need to breathe. I digress. It must have been like torture to have such an interesting game happening while you’re stuck at work. That has got to SUCK a lot. So I came to your rescue. 

You’re welcome.

All you have to do is, for each game, tell your boss your you have to stop work [immediately!] to watch the match. Your boss would  probably first look at you like you’re drunk and when they realize you’re not, they would ask, but why. Then tell them the below:

1.) Soccer increases joy. I have no scientific evidence for this, but you can almost see the dopamine release as people watch soccer (except your team is losing, oops). Surely, your boss must want you to be happy, no? Okay, how about this, happiness makes you live longer, and the longer you live the more likely you are to…work. Yeah, okay that’s a little morbid. Let’s try this: researchers from Oxford found that workers who are happy are 13% more productive. People who are happy can focus better. Ergo, you will do your job better. Finally, people work harder when they are happy. Your boss won’t refuse you after this.

2.) Sports will make you fulfilled. The social values and  upliftment derived from watching a game improves well-being. Tell your boss work has been impeding your wellbeing all these years. It is only right you remedy that by watching more sport.

3.) There is evidence linking sports to relaxation. This one is tricky because your boss may not want you to relax. As you watch the games, you are distracted from important life problems as you cheer. 

4.) Soccer is a universal language. No matter where you are from, it can be a common ground. Instead of nonsense small talk, this is something people at work can actually talk about. It can foster collaboration among team mates. No way your boss wouldn’t want this. Y’all can analyze and dissect as much as you like! 

5.) Soccer is a billion dollar industry. Money made from soccer impacts our economy across the world. Your boss must want the global economy to thrive, no? 

6.) Soccer teaches you hard work. Ok, but what better way to learn about the importance of hard work than seeing these men run around that field, displaying skill and expertise you know took them years to craft? It shows discipline, commitment, and dedication. You need those at work.

7.) Soccer can contribute to world peace. No kidding! We can solve some of the world’s great conflicts and tensions through soccer.  This researcher's groundbreaking research confirmed this hypothesis. We know that positive intergroup can reduce prejudice and foster peace. She randomized Christian Iraqi refugees  to soccer teams that had either all Christian players or a mix of Muslim and Christian players. When the Christian players played on the same team as Muslims, it had positive effects on their attitudes and behavior within the context of soccer! (with the caveat that it doesn't extend to non-soccer settings but baby steps!). Anyway, while they were teammates, Christians with Muslim teammates were more likely to vote for a Muslim to receive a sportsmanship award and even train with Muslims.  If all else fails, this one should do it. After all, who doesn’t want world peace? 

Soccer can save the world, peeps. So watch it today

Disclaimer: this blog and the author thereof take no responsibility for whatever implications or consequences arise from following the advice written therein. The views expressed merely reflect the opinion of the writer and if you do take the advice and lose your job, the author wants you to know you are not a serious person.


For real though.

Hope y’all had a great Thanksgiving! 

Enjoy the World Cup! While this is a joke, the benefits and scientific evidence revealed above are actually real. 

Love, and GO TEAM U S A,


No comments