#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo Mommy will eventually be your bestfriend! You will tell her everything and want to speak with her everyday.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you're not that smart. You'll fail at many things but you also will suceed at many things. Take the good with the bad.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo for some reasons, Mommy and Daddy are always right, listen to them. They know better anyway.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo yes yes, you have some not so good friends but you'll eventually have the best girls and be stuck with them. Better to have few good ones than a million terrible friends.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo everything will be okay. It will pass.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo so what if people gossip about you? Haha piece of cake compared to real life problems.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo Maths is not hard, you're just lazy.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you will not become a Lawyer.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you'll come to love God more than you can imagine. Hehe.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo when you eventually finish school, don't do NYSC. You'll regret doing the crap and wasting your time. Just move on with your life.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo it's okay to be good. Do not ever feel bad for making good choices.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo the less you know about the future, the more interesting it will be. Stop with the curiosity and just live.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you'll go from being very lackadaisical and nonchalant to being very anxious and being a worrier. It's still too hard to say which is better. Perhaps moderation?
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you really are beautiful, girl! Embrace it! You are divinely made and crafted, don't feel sorry for that. Embrace it.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo you should stop trying to bring yourself down to other people's levels just to make them feel better about themselves. If you know stuff, speak out. Don't ask someone about something you already know just to help the person's ego.
#TweetAtYourself10YearsAgo live your life to the fullest but of course within the confines of God's words. Take each day as it comes. You're a superstar girl, shine!
Linda's New Cars And My Thoughts On Entrepreneurship.
Friday, September 19, 2014
This is going to be a really quick post and I hope to capture all my thoughts on a whole lots of issues I have always wanted to blog on like Entrepreneurship, Success, Money yada yada. I also apologize in advance, this is a somewhat serious post , it is scattered AND it is against POPULAR OPINION. SORRY NOT SORRY. Some days ago, I stumbled on some controversial tweets about popular blogger, Linda Ikeji. She had just bought a brand new, 'tear rubber' SUV, very shiny something. LOL. Then she captioned it "Daddy finally allowed me..." something like that. By the way, she turned THIRTY FOUR today. The matter of having to get permission from her Dad is story for another day. I also don't care if she posted her car and the price(I think she said it was thirty million or thereabout, not sure) or if like her younger sister, she posted receipts of her designer bags. If you ask me, some of those things seem like poverty mentality kinda thing. But moving on. Along with the picture of herself and her new car, she wrote a post encouraging young men and women to strive for success and to never give up and all that, which was an absolutely amazing thing to do. I was doing my blog round just now when I saw a post by lifestyle blogger, Sisi Yemmie about the 'things to learn from Linda's success.' I commented but it was not enough for me, I had to blog about it.
First and foremost, I admire Linda and her success story. It's a lot of God's grace. It is also a great reminder that the race is not for the swift neither is food for the wise. Honestly though, a big part of me does not agree that hardwork brought Linda her success and money. I know, I know. I probably don't know her full story and I know she dabbled on quite a lot of things before settling on blogging. That's not bad in itself, in fact sometimes, to know what really suits you, you need to try a variety of things. But in regard to her blog which was what brought the fame, I strongly believe she just happened to start something at the right time. This is not to spite Linda or 'hate' on her. I am one of her voltrons, I actually do like her a lot. However, I am not one to mince words when I don't want to. Let's face it, there's hardly any creativity or depth in Linda's posts. No real research, no nothing. Sometimes, she even posts false news and rumors. So while, the perseverance and persistence in her story is one to preach about, people need to tone it down on telling young people to start their own businesses or just start an organization. Sisi Yemmie said Nigerians need to move from the mentality that being a Doctor, Lawyer, Accountant is the only way to success. Actually, the reverse is the case now. My greatest fear right now is that in 20 years time, there will be no Doctors in Nigeria as everybody would have gone to pursue their 'dreams'. Is it not puzzling and worrisome that the only attractive careers are the easy ways out? Young Nigerians are now only interested in making money the fast way. Nobody wants to be a Doctor or Economist or Teacher or Research Scientist, everybody and their mothers now want to be C.E.Os. Do not get me wrong, being a make up artist or photographer or musician or actress is great, they are all very dignified and resourceful ambitions. But how is it that no one takes the time to LEARN their crafts anymore? How is it that these are seemingly the only attractive positions? How is it that in every darn gathering, people are being told to become entrepreneurs and those of us who do not have the flare for setting up businesses are being looked down on as mediocre?
Wait, you thought I was joking when I said tear rubber?
Linda and her fleet of cars...whooshhhhh! Lol
I dare say that not everyone can be an entrepreneur. Not everyone can 'work for themselves'. Not every '9-5' is such a terrible idea. And just so you know, if the reason you want to establish a business and become a CEO is because 'you can not work for someone else', let me break it to you honey, you. is.unwise*. If the reason you want to be a CEO is because a '9-5' is too monotonous and time consuming, you.is.unwise*. Half the time, people lack the necessary discipline and commitment to create something fundamental. You think a 9-5 is draining? Honey, try starting a business or an organization. It becomes your entire life because the moment it fails, you have failed.
The other day, I found out that someone's establishment was about making people CEOs. In other words, she spends her time bashing people who work for others and telling them how much of a waste of time their lives are. I am not kidding. I was in awe. I mean if we are all CEOs, who then will work for us? Not everyone is a leader, this may sound really absurd but it's the truth. Some people were made to serve. Not everyone is a Moses, some people were made to be Aarons; to be helpers. I am not one to say money shouldn't be your goal, everyone's goal is different. For instance, I can't imagine having a career that does not impact the life of at least one person. That's me. Yours may be that you can't imagine a career that will not be able to get you a private jet. To each his own, but RESPECT YOUR LANE. Face your work, ushe onise*. I don't know what irritates me more these days than when people hear what you do and scoff; "What do you need that for?" "Why aren't you getting an MBA instead?" How about you mind yo' own business eh?
By the way, while failure is a sign you are probably doing something right and you should continue to persevere, it also can be a sign that whatever you're doing is an absolute waste of time. The earlier you can figure out which category you belong, the better for you and your family.
Disclaimer; if you want to be an entrepreneur and maybe you have a great idea, then by all means, go ahead. Lol. Not that you will see me in my office tomorrow now, as the CEO of course (big grin) and call me a hypocrite. This is not to discourage people from following their passions, it is just to let people know that sometimes, you need to be hardworking or at least have an understanding of what it is you want to do. You cannot expect me to pay you a lot of money as a make up artist for instance, only for you to turn me into a character in cirque du soleil. If you must be a C.E.O, please be one that is committed to excellence and a good work ethic. Some people parade themselves around celebrities for a living. You will also find some of such people bashing a Banker who is working for his/her hard earned money; they will say the person is 'slaving' away. Ermm, the irony. Look, nobody is worthless simply because they don't have fancy jobs. As long as you are being paid for your labor and services, you are worth much more than I can describe to you with my words.
I am NOT against ambition and innovation, I really am just against mediocrity which is what many so called young 'creatives' are churning out these days. This post was really all over the place. That's because it was not properly thought of. I am also probably missing many other things I would have liked to mention. I am going to leave it here for now though and hope to God nobody reads this and goes, 'hey she's just a hater' or "Why so angry?" I am not angry and I am actually having quite a good afternoon. LOL.
Love,
I
*I was going to use a worse word but I changed it. lol. Also, that is not a grammatical error. I derived it from the popular "You is smart. You is beautiful. You is Intelligent" saying in the movie, The Help.
*Also a slang. If you did not hear this gist and you're Nigerian, do you live under the rock? lol. Email me or something for fuller explanation and meaning.
P.S; Have you checked out Loveoasis magazine today? Oya head over there now please www.theloveoasis.com You'll be glad you did, I promise.
Linda and her new ride!
Linda again, with the oh so beautiful car.
First and foremost, I admire Linda and her success story. It's a lot of God's grace. It is also a great reminder that the race is not for the swift neither is food for the wise. Honestly though, a big part of me does not agree that hardwork brought Linda her success and money. I know, I know. I probably don't know her full story and I know she dabbled on quite a lot of things before settling on blogging. That's not bad in itself, in fact sometimes, to know what really suits you, you need to try a variety of things. But in regard to her blog which was what brought the fame, I strongly believe she just happened to start something at the right time. This is not to spite Linda or 'hate' on her. I am one of her voltrons, I actually do like her a lot. However, I am not one to mince words when I don't want to. Let's face it, there's hardly any creativity or depth in Linda's posts. No real research, no nothing. Sometimes, she even posts false news and rumors. So while, the perseverance and persistence in her story is one to preach about, people need to tone it down on telling young people to start their own businesses or just start an organization. Sisi Yemmie said Nigerians need to move from the mentality that being a Doctor, Lawyer, Accountant is the only way to success. Actually, the reverse is the case now. My greatest fear right now is that in 20 years time, there will be no Doctors in Nigeria as everybody would have gone to pursue their 'dreams'. Is it not puzzling and worrisome that the only attractive careers are the easy ways out? Young Nigerians are now only interested in making money the fast way. Nobody wants to be a Doctor or Economist or Teacher or Research Scientist, everybody and their mothers now want to be C.E.Os. Do not get me wrong, being a make up artist or photographer or musician or actress is great, they are all very dignified and resourceful ambitions. But how is it that no one takes the time to LEARN their crafts anymore? How is it that these are seemingly the only attractive positions? How is it that in every darn gathering, people are being told to become entrepreneurs and those of us who do not have the flare for setting up businesses are being looked down on as mediocre?
Wait, you thought I was joking when I said tear rubber?
Linda and her fleet of cars...whooshhhhh! Lol
I dare say that not everyone can be an entrepreneur. Not everyone can 'work for themselves'. Not every '9-5' is such a terrible idea. And just so you know, if the reason you want to establish a business and become a CEO is because 'you can not work for someone else', let me break it to you honey, you. is.unwise*. If the reason you want to be a CEO is because a '9-5' is too monotonous and time consuming, you.is.unwise*. Half the time, people lack the necessary discipline and commitment to create something fundamental. You think a 9-5 is draining? Honey, try starting a business or an organization. It becomes your entire life because the moment it fails, you have failed.
The other day, I found out that someone's establishment was about making people CEOs. In other words, she spends her time bashing people who work for others and telling them how much of a waste of time their lives are. I am not kidding. I was in awe. I mean if we are all CEOs, who then will work for us? Not everyone is a leader, this may sound really absurd but it's the truth. Some people were made to serve. Not everyone is a Moses, some people were made to be Aarons; to be helpers. I am not one to say money shouldn't be your goal, everyone's goal is different. For instance, I can't imagine having a career that does not impact the life of at least one person. That's me. Yours may be that you can't imagine a career that will not be able to get you a private jet. To each his own, but RESPECT YOUR LANE. Face your work, ushe onise*. I don't know what irritates me more these days than when people hear what you do and scoff; "What do you need that for?" "Why aren't you getting an MBA instead?" How about you mind yo' own business eh?
By the way, while failure is a sign you are probably doing something right and you should continue to persevere, it also can be a sign that whatever you're doing is an absolute waste of time. The earlier you can figure out which category you belong, the better for you and your family.
Disclaimer; if you want to be an entrepreneur and maybe you have a great idea, then by all means, go ahead. Lol. Not that you will see me in my office tomorrow now, as the CEO of course (big grin) and call me a hypocrite. This is not to discourage people from following their passions, it is just to let people know that sometimes, you need to be hardworking or at least have an understanding of what it is you want to do. You cannot expect me to pay you a lot of money as a make up artist for instance, only for you to turn me into a character in cirque du soleil. If you must be a C.E.O, please be one that is committed to excellence and a good work ethic. Some people parade themselves around celebrities for a living. You will also find some of such people bashing a Banker who is working for his/her hard earned money; they will say the person is 'slaving' away. Ermm, the irony. Look, nobody is worthless simply because they don't have fancy jobs. As long as you are being paid for your labor and services, you are worth much more than I can describe to you with my words.
I am NOT against ambition and innovation, I really am just against mediocrity which is what many so called young 'creatives' are churning out these days. This post was really all over the place. That's because it was not properly thought of. I am also probably missing many other things I would have liked to mention. I am going to leave it here for now though and hope to God nobody reads this and goes, 'hey she's just a hater' or "Why so angry?" I am not angry and I am actually having quite a good afternoon. LOL.
Love,
I
*I was going to use a worse word but I changed it. lol. Also, that is not a grammatical error. I derived it from the popular "You is smart. You is beautiful. You is Intelligent" saying in the movie, The Help.
*Also a slang. If you did not hear this gist and you're Nigerian, do you live under the rock? lol. Email me or something for fuller explanation and meaning.
P.S; Have you checked out Loveoasis magazine today? Oya head over there now please www.theloveoasis.com You'll be glad you did, I promise.
Trying New Things.
Friday, September 12, 2014
I want to start this post by saying how BUSY I have been, so busy that I do not have time to breathe. But that will be a lie. I really have been busy but not so much that I don't have time to breathe. Also, I am blessed with a great deal of time management skills. I try to plan each waking hour, note the word, TRY. If I decide to leave home by 7:45, not a minute after that will pass without me stepping out. Maybe something else, like breakfast will suffer but I must leave home that minute. So point being I may be busy but I still have time to live.
You know how they say time/life is fleeting and we all should make the best use of it...I don't know if that's a saying. I am just trying hard to link that with trying new things out. I don't try new things. I am the type of person who when she discovers her favorite in a restaurant refuses to order anything else forever and ever. Think grilled salmon and fries in Red Lobster. Or flat bread barbecue sandwich in Panera Bread. Whenever I step into those places, that's what I order. Let's not talk about the things I never even bother to try out but yet I can't stand them. So I thought 'why not put yourself to another challenge' like I did with the anger thing.
The challenge here is to try something new each day or week; eat something different, do something different, try something different, perhaps even use a different lip gloss.
I am receiving suggestions too. But remember please that I love life very much and I plan by God's grace to live long, that's considering God does not decide to end it soon. Anyway, I am not about killing myself in the name of something different. I am not even about hurting myself or my wallet because of fun. Also, I WILL NOT EAT SUSHI.
Unlike my anger challenge, I doubt I'll report back on the progress of this. Heck, I do not even know that I'll do anything about what I just wrote above. But I'll try. This is the first step in what is probably a lifelong journey. We should always try out new, exciting things, shouldn't we?
Love,
I
P.S; The afternoon after I originally typed this post, I walked from one state to another. Don't ask me how please. Lol. Yayyy for new things!!!
'Being Me' Blog Tag...
Monday, September 1, 2014
Halos. My blogpost today is something quite different from my usual posts. It's a tag I first saw on La Bella Imperfezione and one I had been meaning to do but kept putting off. Anyway, I figured since I don't have anything to post, why not just do it. It is a fun tag, at least to me. It's also one that would tell a little more about me. The good part is, it's not the usual serious and uptight stuff I post. I really am not that uptight in real life, I don't think I take myself that seriously. That was a lie. I really am that uptight in real life. At least that's what people say. As a matter of fact, I may be a little more uptight than what my blog tells you. Some other people may even think I am judgmental but I disagree with that. Let me tell you a quick story.
I was talking with an acquaintance the other day when she mentioned that her boyfriend was in a neighboring school. Then she quickly added 'We don't live together though.' What has that last part got to do with me? Confused face. I felt like she quickly added the last part as if to preempt me, you know, before I form opinions about her or judge her. For some reasons unknown to me, people are typically very defensive around me. Anyway, moving on.
There was a time this blog was about the most serious thing in my life; I would come here to argue serious societal issues, defending my stand and condemning what I believed was wrong. While trying to NOT get personal. Things have changed and they have changed drastically. The blog is probably the least serious thing in my life right now. It is high time I infused the lackadaisical side/part of me into the blog. I will make it a bit more personal but perhaps on the 'fun' side. I feel like there are now appropriate channels where I can talk passionately about the societal and maybe political issues I care about. It is not this blog. I probably still will, but errm it will not be very serious. I'll come here to unwind and 'flex'. Just before you close your browser, let's get started on the tag. So, here's to changes. Here's to growth. Here's to new beginnings.
My selfie from Instagram. Filtered of course ;-)
ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?
No, I wasn't. Not my first name or my other twelve names either. -__-
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Not so often anymore. But today, I was reading a blog owned by a woman with five children and a husband who went through abject poverty. I cried because I was angry I had just been whining about something so inconsequential. Hiss.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?
No, I don't.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE A FRIEND OF YOURSELF?
ah, tough one man. I think so...probably.
DO YOU HAVE GUILTY PLEASURES?
Of course. YouTube; sigh. I may need to check into rehab for this one. LOL. Wendy's show.
DO YOU LIKE HANDWRITING?
I'm indifferent.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
It used to be Kellog's Coco Pops (But where the heck is this cereal in the whole of U.S.A?) It's currently Frosties though. yum.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I actually have no answer to this. Maybe their command of English? I really dunno. For guys though, nails! I can't stand long nails in guys. Bleh.
WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR EYE?
Black.
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings!
FAVORITE T.V SHOW
Law and Order; SVU and Criminal Content (Thanks Daddy!), Prison Break, 24, MODERN FAMILY!!!, Grey's Anatomy. Notice the one in caps hehehe.
WINTER OR SUMMER TIME?
Summer, because I hate cold not because I love sunshine. Go figure.
HUGS OR KISSES?
In the general sense, none. Get yo' body off me please. Lol. Kisses.
SPECIAL TALENT.
Ugh. Here again. Look, none. I am beginning to not believe in talents sef. I may know how to tell stories though if I practice more.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Omo Eko ni mi o swaggggga! Lol.
HOBBIES?
Honestly, I don't even know. Watching my favorite shows over and over again. Reading biographies of people (Wikipedia is my second home). Writing too. I like to talk too. Daydreaming; I spend about a quarter of my day in the future. Eating. Looking for my younger sister's trouble.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
I can't even stand them.
FAVORITE MOVIE
This isn't a good question; too broad. If I had to pick one, it'll be Life of Pi.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
I don't have one. At least not yet.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Do you want an entire blog post just on one question? If not, the answer is I don't know. Bye please.
This was fun! I want moreeeee *pouting* LOL. Thanks for reading! You are tagged.
Love,
I
P.S; Have you checked out Loveoasis Magazine today? Please do at www.theloveoasis.com
P.P.S; I put a bulb in a lamp for the first time today.
I was talking with an acquaintance the other day when she mentioned that her boyfriend was in a neighboring school. Then she quickly added 'We don't live together though.' What has that last part got to do with me? Confused face. I felt like she quickly added the last part as if to preempt me, you know, before I form opinions about her or judge her. For some reasons unknown to me, people are typically very defensive around me. Anyway, moving on.
There was a time this blog was about the most serious thing in my life; I would come here to argue serious societal issues, defending my stand and condemning what I believed was wrong. While trying to NOT get personal. Things have changed and they have changed drastically. The blog is probably the least serious thing in my life right now. It is high time I infused the lackadaisical side/part of me into the blog. I will make it a bit more personal but perhaps on the 'fun' side. I feel like there are now appropriate channels where I can talk passionately about the societal and maybe political issues I care about. It is not this blog. I probably still will, but errm it will not be very serious. I'll come here to unwind and 'flex'. Just before you close your browser, let's get started on the tag. So, here's to changes. Here's to growth. Here's to new beginnings.
ARE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?
No, I wasn't. Not my first name or my other twelve names either. -__-
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Not so often anymore. But today, I was reading a blog owned by a woman with five children and a husband who went through abject poverty. I cried because I was angry I had just been whining about something so inconsequential. Hiss.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?
No, I don't.
IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE A FRIEND OF YOURSELF?
ah, tough one man. I think so...probably.
DO YOU HAVE GUILTY PLEASURES?
Of course. YouTube; sigh. I may need to check into rehab for this one. LOL. Wendy's show.
DO YOU LIKE HANDWRITING?
I'm indifferent.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
It used to be Kellog's Coco Pops (But where the heck is this cereal in the whole of U.S.A?) It's currently Frosties though. yum.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I actually have no answer to this. Maybe their command of English? I really dunno. For guys though, nails! I can't stand long nails in guys. Bleh.
WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR EYE?
Black.
SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings!
FAVORITE T.V SHOW
Law and Order; SVU and Criminal Content (Thanks Daddy!), Prison Break, 24, MODERN FAMILY!!!, Grey's Anatomy. Notice the one in caps hehehe.
WINTER OR SUMMER TIME?
Summer, because I hate cold not because I love sunshine. Go figure.
HUGS OR KISSES?
In the general sense, none. Get yo' body off me please. Lol. Kisses.
SPECIAL TALENT.
Ugh. Here again. Look, none. I am beginning to not believe in talents sef. I may know how to tell stories though if I practice more.
WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Omo Eko ni mi o swaggggga! Lol.
HOBBIES?
Honestly, I don't even know. Watching my favorite shows over and over again. Reading biographies of people (Wikipedia is my second home). Writing too. I like to talk too. Daydreaming; I spend about a quarter of my day in the future. Eating. Looking for my younger sister's trouble.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
I can't even stand them.
FAVORITE MOVIE
This isn't a good question; too broad. If I had to pick one, it'll be Life of Pi.
WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
I don't have one. At least not yet.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Do you want an entire blog post just on one question? If not, the answer is I don't know. Bye please.
This was fun! I want moreeeee *pouting* LOL. Thanks for reading! You are tagged.
Love,
I
P.S; Have you checked out Loveoasis Magazine today? Please do at www.theloveoasis.com
P.P.S; I put a bulb in a lamp for the first time today.
Friday Reflections.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
1) I have not been blogging much these days because I feel 'out of touch'. This is not writer's block because I've been writing in other places.
2) After a busy week, I went to one of my favorite blogs, Rmj today and learned many things (as usual!). Something that struck a chord however was, if someone compliments you, better believe them.
3) Oh, what it feels like to be so loved. Amazing.
4) Solitude is not a bad thing at all.
5) Although nothing beats a great company; especially when the said company is your family :)
6) Am I the only one that feels like I got absolutely nothing out of my undergraduate degree? Probably. Shrug.
8) One of God's greatest gift to me is the ability to teach myself. Self development is a good thing.
9) This thing going on in Missouri, there's so much to be said about it but no, I won't blog about it.
10) But eh if you know you're already being suspected of being a thief, what the heck are you doing playing with the child of a goat?
11) Number 10 is a Yoruba proverb I translated to English literally.
12) Today, my Mom read her daily devotional to me...over the phone! LOL
13) I hope you guys get your daily dose of Loveoasis Magazine at www.theloveoasis.com You do not want to be left out! Don't say I didn't tell you :-D
2) After a busy week, I went to one of my favorite blogs, Rmj today and learned many things (as usual!). Something that struck a chord however was, if someone compliments you, better believe them.
3) Oh, what it feels like to be so loved. Amazing.
4) Solitude is not a bad thing at all.
5) Although nothing beats a great company; especially when the said company is your family :)
6) Am I the only one that feels like I got absolutely nothing out of my undergraduate degree? Probably. Shrug.
8) One of God's greatest gift to me is the ability to teach myself. Self development is a good thing.
9) This thing going on in Missouri, there's so much to be said about it but no, I won't blog about it.
10) But eh if you know you're already being suspected of being a thief, what the heck are you doing playing with the child of a goat?
11) Number 10 is a Yoruba proverb I translated to English literally.
12) Today, my Mom read her daily devotional to me...over the phone! LOL
13) I hope you guys get your daily dose of Loveoasis Magazine at www.theloveoasis.com You do not want to be left out! Don't say I didn't tell you :-D
Naysayers.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
"A person who habitually expresses negative or pessimistic views."
At one point or the other in our lives, we have all encountered people like this. I should paint a picture. Everything is going well for you or seemingly so. Perhaps, things are not even going well for you but you are about to make a decision. Sometimes, life altering decisions. Other times, just a simple decision. Then that person—and it really can be anybody; friend, family or foe—hears about this decision. At this juncture, they jump in, under the guise of having your best interest at heart, of course. Uhunn. Wet blanket. They usually have one advice or the other to give, mostly the advice they will never take heed to themselves. You know what's worrisome? These people are hardly enemies or strangers. Oh yes, they are mostly friends. Ah friends.
"Hey girl, I just got these new denims. How do I look?"
"Nah. This doesn't work. Or maybe it's the picture. You always look somehow though in all these pants you get. Your dresses too are not nice at all."
"Hey X, I want to get a certificate course in Jumpology."
"What? No! What on earth do you need that for eh? It's useless. Why not Sitology or maybe Standology. Forget Jumpology please."
"Hey you, I finally decided to take that job."
"That job? The one I said makes no sense at all? Better don't take it."
"Hey T, I am looking at starting my own business and quitting my job."
"*laughs hard* You? Start a business? You'd better not try that. You? You barely got a C in Entrepreneurial Studies. How on earth will you manage? Don't come begging me for money o."
And so on and so forth. Now, as you may have noticed, I always add a caveat to most things I say. Sometimes, you really do have a stupid idea. Not everybody who counsels you or criticizes you is a Naysayer. I hate to burst your bubble but that decision may really be unwise. So you should definitely still always seek counsel. At least that's what I'll do. But Naysayers do have some particular characteristics I think I have noticed and decided to mention below.
1) Anger; These kinds of people harbor deep feelings of anger/resentment/bitterness towards you. And no, it's usually not because you did anything to them. It may also be that there's something about you or about what you do that threatens or undermines them . Again, you most likely don't even know about this. These kinds of people use anger to thwart the newfound joy and zeal in you.
source
2) Mockery And Sarcasm; This is when you start hearing sarcastic and rhetorical questions. Sometimes, naysayers use ridicule against you, they mock you and tease you. They will probably be waiting for you to 'fall' so they can tease you or affirm their thoughts. "Oh of course, I knew you could never get an A. hahaha"
source
3) Threats And Intimidation; Maybe not as directly as in "Hey, I'm gonna kill you if you succeed" No. It is usually with subtlety. They oppose you with intimidation. They make it their jobs to remind you of the many things that can and will go wrong should you decide to take that huge step.
4) Discouragement And Exhaustion; I once read a message from a man of God that said something along the lines of "Satan knows that the halfway point in any work is the most effective time to strike. When a new project begins, there is plenty of enthusiasm. 'Let's arise and build! Let's do it!'. If you get over the midway hump and see the completion drawing near, there is another surge of enthusiasm. 'We're almost there! Let's get it done.' But right in the middle of things, exhaustion and discouragement set in. People have lost the initial zeal and all they can see are the piles of rubble still waiting to be removed. They feel like quitting." It is usually at such points naysayers come in, they discourage you. They remind you of the many troubles the project has brought and is still bringing. They let you see reason why you should quit.
source
5)Negativism; This is probably the most obvious of all. I shouldn't say much on this. Let me reiterate something though, MISERY LOVES COMPANY. I think it is hard for a complete stranger to transmit their negativity to you. It is usually someone very close to you. Honestly, I wanted to remove this from the list because while writing this I realized that many of your families and friends would inadvertently try to transmit their negativity to you. We are in a world filled with so much chaos that people sometimes find it hard to maintain any positivity. When I hopped on the #100happydays tag band wagon on Instagram, I'm sure some people may have thought "What's doing this one?" or "What's making her happy sef?". Whereas they may even have many more reasons to be happier than I am but unlike me, they have refused to look inwards and realize that we ALL have one reason or another to be happy. So, people (myself inclusive) will whine and complain around you, they will tell you the many things wrong with the world. Pay them no mind, stay positive. I'll conclude this point by saying while all naysayers are negative, I strongly believe not all negative people are naysayers. I don't know how to explain the last sentence any further.
source
The effect of all of the above is one thing; FEAR.You have seen anger, you have heard mockery and threats. Of course, you are wearing down through exhaustion. Even the devil mostly uses fear to paralyze people and keep you from doing any significant thing. "You have never done it before and you don't know if you can do it. Maybe it's fear of rejection. If you try it, others will think you are a fanatic and stand off from you. It may be a fear of conflict. If you do what God wants you to do, you know that you'll catch flak. So you back off."
Instead of letting naysayers bring you down emotionally and discourage you, you should respond with prayer, hard-work and just focus on God. Of course, you shouldn't just pray and do nothing. You should put your hearts into your work and not get distracted.
I should also add that, the fear of becoming a naysayer should not stop anybody from being honest especially with friends and family. The thing with constructive criticism is that you are doing it out of love. You are not doing it to bring anybody down. If any of my friends wear something that is not flattering, I will definitely let them know. I won't try to destroy the person's self-esteem though or just use the opportunity to show my how much I despise them even though we are supposedly friends. If someone tells you to shed some weight, they are not naysayers, Lol. As a matter of fact, they love you. Haha. On a more serious note though, I may have been a victim of people trying to shut down my dreams one way or another in the past. I recently remembered and decided to blog about it. This is not a personal thing to anyone though. I just wish people would stop channeling so much hatred and envy towards another person and begin to help one another.
Love,
I.
At one point or the other in our lives, we have all encountered people like this. I should paint a picture. Everything is going well for you or seemingly so. Perhaps, things are not even going well for you but you are about to make a decision. Sometimes, life altering decisions. Other times, just a simple decision. Then that person—and it really can be anybody; friend, family or foe—hears about this decision. At this juncture, they jump in, under the guise of having your best interest at heart, of course. Uhunn. Wet blanket. They usually have one advice or the other to give, mostly the advice they will never take heed to themselves. You know what's worrisome? These people are hardly enemies or strangers. Oh yes, they are mostly friends. Ah friends.
"Hey girl, I just got these new denims. How do I look?"
"Nah. This doesn't work. Or maybe it's the picture. You always look somehow though in all these pants you get. Your dresses too are not nice at all."
"Hey X, I want to get a certificate course in Jumpology."
"What? No! What on earth do you need that for eh? It's useless. Why not Sitology or maybe Standology. Forget Jumpology please."
"Hey you, I finally decided to take that job."
"That job? The one I said makes no sense at all? Better don't take it."
"Hey T, I am looking at starting my own business and quitting my job."
"*laughs hard* You? Start a business? You'd better not try that. You? You barely got a C in Entrepreneurial Studies. How on earth will you manage? Don't come begging me for money o."
And so on and so forth. Now, as you may have noticed, I always add a caveat to most things I say. Sometimes, you really do have a stupid idea. Not everybody who counsels you or criticizes you is a Naysayer. I hate to burst your bubble but that decision may really be unwise. So you should definitely still always seek counsel. At least that's what I'll do. But Naysayers do have some particular characteristics I think I have noticed and decided to mention below.
1) Anger; These kinds of people harbor deep feelings of anger/resentment/bitterness towards you. And no, it's usually not because you did anything to them. It may also be that there's something about you or about what you do that threatens or undermines them . Again, you most likely don't even know about this. These kinds of people use anger to thwart the newfound joy and zeal in you.
source
2) Mockery And Sarcasm; This is when you start hearing sarcastic and rhetorical questions. Sometimes, naysayers use ridicule against you, they mock you and tease you. They will probably be waiting for you to 'fall' so they can tease you or affirm their thoughts. "Oh of course, I knew you could never get an A. hahaha"
source
3) Threats And Intimidation; Maybe not as directly as in "Hey, I'm gonna kill you if you succeed" No. It is usually with subtlety. They oppose you with intimidation. They make it their jobs to remind you of the many things that can and will go wrong should you decide to take that huge step.
4) Discouragement And Exhaustion; I once read a message from a man of God that said something along the lines of "Satan knows that the halfway point in any work is the most effective time to strike. When a new project begins, there is plenty of enthusiasm. 'Let's arise and build! Let's do it!'. If you get over the midway hump and see the completion drawing near, there is another surge of enthusiasm. 'We're almost there! Let's get it done.' But right in the middle of things, exhaustion and discouragement set in. People have lost the initial zeal and all they can see are the piles of rubble still waiting to be removed. They feel like quitting." It is usually at such points naysayers come in, they discourage you. They remind you of the many troubles the project has brought and is still bringing. They let you see reason why you should quit.
source
5)Negativism; This is probably the most obvious of all. I shouldn't say much on this. Let me reiterate something though, MISERY LOVES COMPANY. I think it is hard for a complete stranger to transmit their negativity to you. It is usually someone very close to you. Honestly, I wanted to remove this from the list because while writing this I realized that many of your families and friends would inadvertently try to transmit their negativity to you. We are in a world filled with so much chaos that people sometimes find it hard to maintain any positivity. When I hopped on the #100happydays tag band wagon on Instagram, I'm sure some people may have thought "What's doing this one?" or "What's making her happy sef?". Whereas they may even have many more reasons to be happier than I am but unlike me, they have refused to look inwards and realize that we ALL have one reason or another to be happy. So, people (myself inclusive) will whine and complain around you, they will tell you the many things wrong with the world. Pay them no mind, stay positive. I'll conclude this point by saying while all naysayers are negative, I strongly believe not all negative people are naysayers. I don't know how to explain the last sentence any further.
source
The effect of all of the above is one thing; FEAR.You have seen anger, you have heard mockery and threats. Of course, you are wearing down through exhaustion. Even the devil mostly uses fear to paralyze people and keep you from doing any significant thing. "You have never done it before and you don't know if you can do it. Maybe it's fear of rejection. If you try it, others will think you are a fanatic and stand off from you. It may be a fear of conflict. If you do what God wants you to do, you know that you'll catch flak. So you back off."
Instead of letting naysayers bring you down emotionally and discourage you, you should respond with prayer, hard-work and just focus on God. Of course, you shouldn't just pray and do nothing. You should put your hearts into your work and not get distracted.
I should also add that, the fear of becoming a naysayer should not stop anybody from being honest especially with friends and family. The thing with constructive criticism is that you are doing it out of love. You are not doing it to bring anybody down. If any of my friends wear something that is not flattering, I will definitely let them know. I won't try to destroy the person's self-esteem though or just use the opportunity to show my how much I despise them even though we are supposedly friends. If someone tells you to shed some weight, they are not naysayers, Lol. As a matter of fact, they love you. Haha. On a more serious note though, I may have been a victim of people trying to shut down my dreams one way or another in the past. I recently remembered and decided to blog about it. This is not a personal thing to anyone though. I just wish people would stop channeling so much hatred and envy towards another person and begin to help one another.
"According to recognized aerotechnical tests, the bumblebee cannot fly because of the shape and weight of his body in relation to the total wing area. The bumble bee does not know this, so he goes ahead and flies anyway" - Igor Sikorsky
Love,
I.
The LoveOasis Magazine.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
For its July issue, digital Lifestyle magazine, LoveOasis Magazine has Gbenga Adeyinka on its cover. In the interview, he talks about his Career, Marriage and Inspiration. In addition to the personality interview, they have two newly wedded cover couples sharing their stories and their beautiful wedding pictures.
Some of the featured articles come under the following columns: A leap of Faith, 8 Realities of Marriage, Memoirs of a Pregnant Woman, Getting over it and many more inspiring and entertaining subjects. The magazine is accessible (and it’s FREE) on any Smartphone device, Mobile Tablets and PCs. To read the issue #9, visit us at:
About Us: The LoveOasis Magazine is a colorful digital lifestyle publication with contents that focus on the issues of weddings, marital unions, relationships and social lifestyles. Each monthly issue features a married personality with a sub-edition featuring a newly wedded couple on the cover.
……… Celebrating eternal love
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