Motion Sickness

I think I suffer from something called Motion Sickness. I am not sure if I do, but it’s possible I do. I sometimes dread journeys because of this. When a journey first starts, I am all giddy and excited about my trip. Moments later, my stomach churns and starts to bring great discomfort. No matter how I adjust my sitting position, nothing changes. I can’t work or do anything productive. I feel like I am about to throw up. Then it occurs to me I felt this exact way my last journey or even worse. I message my friend to tell him, “I feel terribly car-sick. I might throw up at any minute.” He replies, "How can you hate planes and cars at the same time?” Shoot. I  don’t really like plane rides either. I mean, I used to, but it just creeps me out for the most part now. “I don’t hate cars though. I just don’t feel well.” I say to him.  Then it all comes rushing to my head, it can not be a coincidence that every time I am on a journey, I feel sick. In preparation of this journey, I even had a good breakfast. I am thinking my conversation with my friend will distract me, but it doesn’t. So now I drop my phone, and my books, and continue typing this. No? Ok I Google it. Eureka! There is a name? Whew. I start to think back.

See, I have always felt this way from as far back as I can remember. But I always attributed what I felt to anxiety about going back to boarding school. It was a two-hour journey (thanks to Lagos traffic) from home to school when I was in secondary school. I always felt terrible, but because I thought it was my irrational fear of boarding school and senior girls, I never said a word. Sometimes, I’d tell my Mommy I felt horrible. She would give me medications for malaria because boarding school was synonymous to sickness. That was her way of preparing me for what was to come. Other times, she’d remind me that she and the rest of my family were just a phone-call away, there was no need to be homesick. Okay. But then, I became a senior girl myself, but still had these major sickness on the way to school. Whatever then. 

I sleep a lot when I am traveling. It is just occurring to me that it was my body’s way of coping. I always sleep. And when I sleep, I don’t feel ill. Oh! Today though, I can’t sleep. I have tried everything, but no sleep so I am struggling, hoping I don’t throw up on my books and computer. Oh well. Google says to stare into the horizon in the direction you are traveling at, and chew gum; both of which I am now doing. They seem to help but not for long. Google says motion sickness and reading are enemies. Aha! No wonder I am never able to read in a moving car or on the metro. Even if it’s a five minutes trip, I just don’t feel good whenever I read.

                                   

Trying--but failing--to do some work. Excuse the crooked handwriting. 

I accept my fate, and thank God I am not throwing up even though I still feel woozy, uncomfortable, and dizzy, like if I make an attempt to walk, I will fall down. So I sit up and try to daydream. The journey is almost over, thankfully. I look forward to that.  I stop working entirely and smile at the realization that I just converted my problem into a blog post. Every disappointment is truly a blessing.

MLK Day: L.O.C and MLK Memorial Visit.

Last Monday, my friends and I decided to take advantage of the holiday. So we took off to the Library of Congress to see the Magna Carta tour. Magna Carta was a charter issued by...I could fill this whole post with the story or I could direct you here to read it yourselves. I chose the latter. It was issued in the year 1215, so this makes it the 800th year. In commemoration of the celebration of the first issue, the L.O.C put up an exhibition. It was interesting, to say the least. Plus even if I go the the L.O.C a hundred times, I will still be in awe of the magnificent architectural design each time I step in there. We also checked out the MLK memorial--duh! It was MLK day. And oh, have you seen Selma? What a beautiful movie! Anyway, check out more pictures from the day below...

Friday Reflections.

1.) I was featured on Bellanaija, yay!

2.) Speaking of Bellanaija, I should reiterate that my last post is in no way against Charlie Hebdo. See, we are all on the same side; against terrorism.

3.) Something weird happened to me last night: I had always hummed a tune, and never knew who sang it or what song it was. I searched and searched, nothing.

4.) Yesterday, while watching an old episode of Grey's Anatomy, I heard it!! Then off to Google to search for details of that episode, and bam. Then some tears started to roll down my face at the realization that I really just figured out what song it was. Then I sent my sister a hysterical voicenote. Errr

5.) I think just finding an answer to a question I had for so long caused all the emotion. Eureka!

6.) Eureka!

7.) Shonda Rhimes is really the queen of TV. No dispute.

8.) You know you are really queen, when your biggest competitors sent you a gift that said, "Over here at Empire, we bow down to the Queen of Television."

9.) Empire is a new hit show on Fox, which I am finding really interesting already, at just the second episode.

10.) I am afraid I may not like how Blacks are portrayed on that show though. I am sure many others share my sentiments.

11.) Oh the song I was talking about is Afternoon by Youth Lagoon. Who is/are Youth Lagoon?

Je ne suis pas Charlie Hebdo.

"Seventeen people died in France last week, world leaders have marched and stood together in unity. Over 2000 people died in Nigeria, this past week ALONE. No world leader has even paid a visit, let alone march. I can understand that, what I can never understand is why Nigerians are screaming about Charlie Hebdo, but saying absolutely nothing about the massacre going on in northern Nigeria. ‪#‎JeSuisBaga‬ ‪#‎NigeriaDecides‬"

The above was my Facebook status some days ago. Except you live under the rock and you never come out to breathe, then you can be excused if you did not hear about the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attacks. In summary, the newspaper was a target of a terrorist attack last week. This attack was presumed to be in response to a number of controversial Muhammad cartoons it published. In support of the newspaper, and in solidarity for freedom of press and speech, a hashtag ensued, #JeSuisCharlieHebdo which literally means I am Charlie Hebdo. Days later, world leaders marched in unity and in support of Charlie Hebdo. I am sure you must therefore be wondering if I am insane, considering that the title of this post means I am not Charlie Hebdo. I am not a Muslim. I am not a terrorist.  I will never be in support of terrorism. I know its a global war against terrorism, so I am happy about the stand for unity, progress and freedom. That being said, I still am not Charlie Hebdo.

I am not Charlie Hebdo because I am too busy being Baga. I am Chibok. I am Borno. I am Jos. I am Nigerian.

Friday Reflections.

1.) Happy new year.

2.) I don't typically make New Year's resolutions.

3.) That being said, the one resolution I have this year is to stop laughing at people, and talking about people in general.

4.) In other words, I will be minding my damn business this year. LOL.

5.) If my French teacher back in high school had spent more time teaching us French than screaming at us, and being mean, perhaps, I wouldn't be spending all these time learning the language.

6.) Je comprends un peu L'Francais.

7.) Something is wrong with me; I spent the bulk of my holiday watching Grey's Anatomy, AGAIN! I need help!

8.) People make so much noise about freedom in defense of homosexualism and many other things, yet these same people castigate religion a tad too much.

9.) If you can be free to announce to the world who you have sexual relations with, why can't I be free to make noise about my Jesus wherever I deem fit?

10.) I am sick of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. I usually try not to insult him because I respect the office, but God knows GEJ frustrates my efforts every time he opens his mouth.

11.) If you let yourself, you'll wake up one morning and realize how indifferent you now are about that thing that once gave you sleepless nights. If you let yourself, you''ll wake up one morning and realize you have been healed.

12.) My holiday comes to an end this weekend. Even as an adult, I am still having chills about heading back. Bleh. #Oldhabitsdiehard.

13.) I am fast becoming a hashtag junkie.

In Memory of 2014...

In one of the very old episodes of Grey's Anatomy, there was a stupid patient (believe me, that show has the most stupid patients. It had better not be a mirror of real life). This patient and his moron best friend were reenacting World War11 in their garage, so they built a bazooka. Somewhere along the line, of course it hurt one of them. It wasn't until a paramedic's hand was inside the victim's chest did they realize the bullet wasn't through and through; no exit wound. That meant at any point it could explode and blow them all into into a billion pieces. Panic, evacuation and all the usual expected stuff followed. Bottom-line, there were two people--paramedic and anesthesiologist--left in the O.R at a point, while others were strategizing somewhere else. Most people were evacuated. Some others played heroes and insisted on staying around. Then a conversation ensued between the paramedic and the anesthesiologist.

"Pink Mist." The anesthesiologist said.

"That's what the bomb squads call people who get blown up by bombs. A human being blown up into shreds, reduced to just a fluid, such that finding a finger would even be difficult."  He continued, to the dismay of the already shaken 22 year female paramedic.

After which he carefully showed her how to manually release oxygen into the victim, carefully explained the pace at which she should release and hold back carefully. Then he slowly walked out of the room.

"Dr. Milton!" She called out, as soon as she realized he was leaving her alone...with her hand clasped to a bullet in a man's chest.

"I have kids." He said, without any guilt and walked right away.

Friendship: The Three Cs.

I use the word 'friendship' loosely. I was listening to a message on leadership by T.D Jakes on YouTube, where he spoke about certain things pertaining to leadership; character, conflict, and your team. Team being those around you. Hence, my choice of the word friendship. Since we are used to calling everybody our 'friends' anyway. I used to have a habit of saying to people about some other person(s), "He/she is not my friend." Lol. It always used to seem mean. I might be naive in many other things, friendship has never been one of them. I was just built, or rather I grew up knowing not everyone could or would be my friend. It is just not humanly possible for me. Shrug. Okay, so according to T.D Jakes, the three categories below, which I termed, 'The Three Cs' are all members of your team, or perhaps a method to select your team.

                                                                        (source)
Confidantes: "A person with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it to others."- Google. These kinds of people are few, of course. We all need at least one of such people in our lives. With these people, you are comfortable in your own skin, to be who you want to be. You can tell them anything, and be sure it will be safe with them. They are with you when you fall, when you rise, when you are stuck. No matter what, a confidante is there. T.D Jakes said if you have only three of such people in a lifetime, you have done incredibly well. That is to say, they are scarce. You know how you sometimes have people around visiting, and you start to get uncomfortable, such that after a while, you just want them to leave? Well, those are not confidantes. You never get tired of confidantes, and since you can be yourself with them anyway, you don't mind them being around. There is a caveat though.

You see, you have to feed these confidantes. Not with money, or food or material stuff, but with yourself. Yes, you. Confidantes are not around for your 'cause', whatever that may be. They are around for you. Sure, they believe in that cause, but they mostly do because of you. So, if after  a while, you start to become unavailable to them, they begin to fade. As with every plant, and living being they need to be fed: with your time, yourself, your presence, you. If you become so busy that you have no time for them, you realize that they may gradually begin to fade out of your life.

Constituents: Now, this is tricky. The people in your constituents are always there for you too, just like confidantes. They have very similar characteristics, except, they are not there for you, but for your 'cause'. Understand that this word 'cause' is used loosely. Your 'cause' may be anything; from your eventual goal in life, something you strongly believe in, your current aspirations...anything. Remember, leadership was what was being discussed. These categories of people are often mistaken as confidantes, because they do practically everything a confidante would. The problem is that they are there for the cause. So, if they are offered a faster route elsewhere, they would take that option and leave you. You start to think you were betrayed, but you really weren't. You just did not recognize that people in your constituents were not your 'friends', they were never there for you, they were there for what they could benefit. On the other hand, if a confidante if offered a 'faster route' or a 'better alternative' to you, confidantes don't leave. They stay.

Comrades: Aha. These ones are neither there for you, nor are they with you for your cause. The reason you have these people around is because they are there for what you are against. This is a typical example of 'my enemy's enemy is my friend.' They are fighters. They are probably so frustrated by what you are fighting against, that they will do anything to get rid of it, including team up with you. T.D jakes used the example of the Pharisees and the Sadducees. Both groups of people were certainly not friends, but when it came to antagonizing Jesus, they teamed up really well. Unfortunately, we may think these people are our 'friends' or that they love us, and then we make the dire mistake of confiding in them. When these people leave, because they sure as hell would leave, they can turn back and use the private information we gave them against us. Remember, they are fighters. That's pretty much all they know how to do, fight.

Knowing what category each person belongs helps a great deal. A lot of times when we thought we were heartbroken because of  a 'friend', it wasn't that we were betrayed, we really just did not understand these people's purpose in our lives. Not everyone is here to stay. Knowing this helps you wade through life even better. Such that even after they leave or do what they know how to do best, hurt you, you are still very cool with them, because you have a perfect understanding of things. You can't be a great leader if everything everybody does hurts you and brings you down. In recent times, I have learnt more than ever the power of emotional strength. Oh, and please for your sake and the sake of your sanity, not everybody you get along with is your friend. Get that into your thick skull, ok? Do that, and watch drama exit your life. Lol.

"For survival sake, you have to be able to handle people leaving." - T.D Jakes.

Love,

I