On Not Blogging And Mediocre Creatives

I remember reading a joke somewhere that went along the lines of: are you even a blogger if you don't start a post with apologizing for how long you have gone without blogging. Ha ha ha. That is so funny, considering how long I have now gone without properly blogging. I mean, I have posted Friday Reflections, which let's face tend to be more interesting than whatever I might actually post. I digress. I was saying it's interesting I saw that joke since I was going to start this post talking about how long it has been since I even thought about blogging. Only, I was not going to apologize. I was just going to acknowledge. There. Acknowledged. Moving on.

When I was on my Internet hiatus (and by Internet, I mean social media), I saw this video by Ropo Demure about the thirst of YouTubers and how YouTube has changed. In it, she talked about the desperation for fame, the need to have all the attention, and the suspicious behavior and general untrustworthiness of YouTubers, who now basically lie just so they can get paid by advertisers. This behavior is obviously across board. There is an ardent need of people to just broadcast their entire lives to strangers; to do the most ridiculous and insane things, just so they can trend: whether on YouTube or Instagram or Twitter or Snapchat or even Facebook. Thankfully, it's not as bad on the blogoshpere, if there is even anything such as that anymore. After finally getting back to social media, I saw many people begging us to please subscribe to their channels because YouTube made a new rule of decommissioning folks with less than a thousand subscribers...begging us as if their lives depended on YouTube; complaining and crying about what they would do if YouTube took away their accounts. The first thing that came to mind was, why don't you get a regular job like the rest of us mere mortals? Get out of here with bugging us, please.

Gosh. It's too much. Everyone is begging you to follow them ON ALL THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS, to like, to subscribe, to comment...their job basically is to ask us to validate them, validate them, validate them. In other words, there is a sub section of folks out there, who instead of working hard and hoping their work speaks for them, clamor for fame and engage in popularity contests. People with no talents, no creativity, so called content creators, whose only creations are false reviews for products, then put up ludicrous videos that are, in Ropo's words "embarrassing to watch". Obviously, and this should go without saying (but I will say it anyway because many people lack common sense), this doesn't apply to everyone. There are true creatives out there, doing the work, and getting the coins they deserve. Many others though, just want to do little to earn plenty money in ad revenue so they can buy expensive leather jackets and weaves, and then post on YouTube for us to see. Yes, shade.

I say all this to say, no one really appreciates creativity as much anymore.   Like Ropo said in the afore-linked video, it's uninspiring. If you don't do crazy stuff, the truth is no one cares. I am feeling the bug too, and not very inspired to put out anything. People probably still watch videos, but not many people read. Luckily for me, I don't live and die by this Lol. I would be bored to death if I did. True story: I literally sometimes get depressed if I have nothing challenging me. Anyway,  I am not too bothered about blogging anymore. When I can, I will. When I can't, I won't.  I definitely will not compromise on my values, and since I hate attention of any form (I kind of like being in my own corner) you will not see me displaying foolishness for fame. I don't even know that my friends know that I still blog, much less read this blog haha. Oh, definitely Evuas. Hello Evuas lmao. That one always reads (love ya girl!). So yes, this year, blogging is not my priority. When I need something creative to do, I will do it all by myself. Tell stories. Read good books etc. Write good books? Haha.

Long way to say if you see me, you see me. If you don't, kisses! But seriously, someone needed to call out all the mediocrity we are seeing these days abeg. Yeah, you're welcome. Maybe next time, if I'm still feeling this sassy, I will talk about those who use their kids for fame :-(. Maybe not.

Love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) I have a dream that one day we'll truly live in a world that stands against injustice and fights for the poor, oppressed, and marginalized.

2.) No matter how hard we try, we (black women) can't escape the fact that our hair is political.

3.) Also just peep that video  [in number 2] if you wanna see how gorgeous black women are.

4.) Ellen Pompeo is the effing QUEEN of T.V. and I'm here for it. I also love the confidence that comes with age and just generally knowing your shit.

5.) As a stakeholder in Grey's Anatomy (YES, with the amount of my life I have given that show, you bet I am), I 'm so here for all the female empowerment and friendship involved in the creation of the show.

6.) See this essay on the truth about money. I told you, finances are a major part of this year for me. I wish I began this path (of financial literacy) before I turned 20, but I'm GLAD to have started before turning 30.

7.) Hahaha. Whose woke kid is this? The boy was like "I like to have Columbus day off, but I want you to not tell me lies." bloooop!

8.) The right way to negotiate your salary. Speak up, ladies.

9.) Police brutality, religion, domestic violence. To say the most recent Grey's Anatomy episode killed it would be an understatement. Spoiler alert for that link, by the way.

10.) What to say to women who are not feminists or who believe we live in a perfect world in which women and men are equal.

Friday Reflections

1.) This  story on how Kelly Marie Tran used her salary from the Star Wars film to pay off her student loans actually brought tears to my eyes.

2.) I am extremely committed to getting my acts together financially this year; like, the adult way. I want to be financially smart and think in long term, and then somehow, very randomly, I stumbled on The Financial Diet on the very first day of the year. No kidding.

3.) Check out their YouTube page with a boat load of content. See for example, this video on bad (BUT extremely common) career advice you should run from. Or this on eleven things she cut from her budget and doesn't miss.

4.) I know I don't like money talk and stuff, but now I'm getting some inspiration to talk about my relationship with money. Hmmmn

4.) Resolutions are not entirely bad, and saying you hate resolutions but then going further to list your goals for the year is somewhat counterintuitive. Stop being cynical.

5.) What you should however not do is to have vague goals/ambitions/resolutions: a la I will live  a healthier lifestyle/lose 50 pounds this year. NO. Instead say [for instance], I will exercise everyday this year. I will make healthy food choices this year, like stay off xyz.

6.) Sorry, there is nothing magical about breakfast. As someone who has gone years (decades, even) without breakfast, that makes me chuckle.

7.) Okay one more thing from TFD: 6 dumb quotes you should never listen to.

8.) It's so inspiring to see this kind of positive news about black boys in the news.

9.) Watch Ray Romano get a date for his son on T.V. Hahahaha. The son was clearly embarrassed, but I swear, it was hilarious.

On Denying God and Our Identities

I can't believe I am actually writing another post before the end of the year, but here we are. Haha. I think I will be staying away from end of the year reviews. I'm finding them increasingly narcissistic LOL, not to mention the year was just steady and normal; I'm incredibly thankful for that. The thing with those reviews is they make normal and the mundane seem depressing. My year was anything but depressing: very challenging, yet normal, predictable. The world, more generally was a different beast but yeah, my greatest achievement this year was surviving it. And that's all I will say about it. I might change my mind on this later, (and that will be okay too) but for now nope.

A picture of sunset because...why not? Plus the sun is definitely setting on the year (ha!)

Anyhoo, in the spirit of thinking about the year that ends tomorrow (yikes!) and the one that begins on Monday (yikes, again), I remembered the story of Peter denying Jesus. I remembered because I recently read it again. You know, Jesus predicting beforehand that Peter would deny him, and Peter being all sanctimonious, responded no dawg, we are ride or die. Except, that was not true. Peter denied Jesus three separate times. It made me ask how we often deny Jesus in our lives. How often do we hide that part or maybe some other parts of our lives, just to fit in or so people don't think of us as weird.

When it comes to identity, as I have often said on this blog, my most important one comes from my faith in God, and my privilege as a child of God. I don't even blast these enough. And several identities exist nowadays; and you and I know some people wear their identities like a badge, telling everyone who cares to listen that they are this or that or that or this; whether you care to listen or not. And they are unapologetic about it too. Frankly, denying God doesn't always look like what Peter did; it's usually not as blatant. Most times, it looks like submerging the part of your life that is Christian or whatever part of you that you seem to hide.

Since everything this week has been geared towards or framed as a New Year's thingy, I suggest that in the coming year we all find ways to be true to ourselves, whatever that means. A lot of times it means not caring too much about what others think or say about you. That thing can be very paralyzing: worrying too much about what others feel about you. Sometimes you have worn so many shells that the true you has become buried deep and can't be found. So in the new year, endeavor to not always be so desperate to fit in/for people to like you that you cower, or deem your light, or act differently. If this is unnecessarily abstract, allow me to give an example. Sometimes, I'm a little bit reluctant about wearing certain kinds of weaves/wigs. For one, I hate stuff that brings unnecessary attention to me since I genuinely hate being the center of attention. Not to mention, I was thinking twice about doing my loud and big, but fine braids. It's not that I was ashamed, I just was not in the mood to explain my hair to every curious tom, dick, and harry. When [non-black] people ask questions about how my hair changes so often or questions about specific style (forgetting that us black women are expressive with our hair); having to field all those questions (especially to several people) sometimes makes me uncomfortable. Instead of doing what I wanted anyway, I was ready to not do something I genuinely felt like doing because of some other people. Nah, we are leaving all that BS in 2017. Be yourself as much as you can without being obnoxious or ridiculous. There are many facets to us human beings; share your individuality; add color to the world; SHINE.


Love, and some glitz (for the new year),

I

Friday Reflections

1.) Refugee, strawberry-picker, Economist, U.N. Whistleblower, and now tech entrepreneur.

2.) Secrets of super siblings and families. I LOVED reading this old TIME's post on successful siblings. In a society obsessed with romantic love (which is typically the least durable love), it was great to see a little focus on siblings.

3.) Also, Gina Rodriguez is my new fave.

4.) Nigeria is headed for a serious demographic problem; and a serious public health and social crises if it doesn't evaluate the availability (or lack of) of contraceptives and birth control options.

5.) Unwanted pregnancies are not prevalent in Nigeria alone. I read somewhere (and I feel my mentors and teachers and senior colleagues knocking me for daring not to cite but sorry abeg) that teen pregnancy has reduced drastically. What is a more of a problem now is the rate of unwanted pregnancies among 20-29 year olds.

6.) It's not even far-fetched: I mean one look at your Instagram feed confirms number 5 above.

7.) Kim or Khloe Kardashian? Listen to Obama answer in this rapid-fire question series.

8.) Gosh, I miss Obama.  Don't we all?

Merry Christmas!!

Merry Christmas, people. It's amazing to be alive, hale, and hearty for another  Christmas. I remember last year's Christmas very vividly. Anyway, I woke up this morning thinking of those with heavy hearts and not in a good place. I think it was from seeing  people in Nigeria complain about the fuel scarcity and general hardship, and also from this Notbellarose's skit and this one. They were kinda supposed to be funny (she's a comedian) and they were, but they were also just sad. Which way Nigeria? So yeah, if you spent Christmas in an entirely terrible mood or with a heavy heart for whatever reason, please remember that Christ HAS (not will, not may) overcome and this too will pass. I'm certain of God's goodness and I know he never fails.

It felt like my first Christmas on social media (obviously not lol) but I just seemed to be in every one's living rooms and parties and stuff, and everyone just seemed to be having a good time, which is awesome!!

Meanwhile, for some reason the shade in me in increasing as this year ends. I'm praying it all goes away by 2018, because I can't handle all this sass all by myself.  Way too may shades to throw lmao. Just kidding (or not?). I'm sending good vibes and positivity down everyone's way. I think I did a terrible job with blogging this year, but honestly...there just wasn't time. It's the same old story: I was really busy. Or perhaps, it was poor management of my time? Let's just say blogging was not at the top of the priority list.

I'm thankful for all my pressies from family and friends, but most of all I'm thankful for the people in my life. Enough of the rambling, I hope you had a great Christmas. If you didn't, I hope things turn around for good in your life. And if this is my last post this year, have a great rest of the year, folks. Go into that new year, and slay!

Merry Christmas again, folks.

All my love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) The peace that comes from turning off notifications on your phone is underrated.

2.) I almost didn't post this,  because of the fear of being tagged a sourpuss or ruffling a few feathers, but I'm glad I did. We can and will unlearn certain things.

3.) Okay so, are you having end of the year blues? Read this.

4.) The right way to handle politics. Do you agree? Or must we be ruthless and dogged in our politics?

5.) These life-changing hacks for wrapping gifts, because duhhh, it's Christmas and you better have bought something for people you love.

6.) Selective empathy: why do some victims of tragedy garner more attention and support than others?