On Being Lost...

I never, ever thought I would ever miss Lagos, but today for a brief moment I did. Just a teeny weeny, of course. From time to time, I would talk about my experiences from living in Lagos for over two decades and why I do or do not miss Lagos. Today is not the day. I had an appointment today with an organization. Now, there are several branches of this organization around the city, but there is a branch very close to my house. In fact, it's a walking distance. So, when on Monday, I received a call that went like this:
 "May i speak with Ifeoluwa?"

"Yea, this is she."

"Ok, great. Please come over at 9:15am tomorrow."

"Oh, thanks. Whom do I ask for?"

"Jasmine. Ask for Jasmine."

"Thank You!"

"Yea. Bye."

I automatically assumed it was the branch by my house, since that was were I scheduled my appointment with anyway, online. I wonder why it just did not occur to her to maybe, you know drop a hint about where they usually have such appointments. I left home 9am, I figured even if the car crawled, I would at least have gotten there by 9:15am. I got to the branch by my house and was redirected elsewhere, I smiled sheepishly as I walked out. Little did I know. Of course, I got the description of where I was headed from the woman that attended to me. From 9am,  it took me about three hours to get to my destination. Yes, three good hours. I went to two different branches as well before getting to my final destination. Exasperated or exhausted does not begin to describe it. What pissed me off the most was how people were describing the route. The customer care woman in the second branch I went to said something like: 

"Once you leave here, turn right, go straight, you would see a JP Morgan Chase company. There's a T junction, turn left at the T junction, then turn right, that's where we are."

Pretty straightforward right? right? Yea Right! We were just going round and round in circles. There was nothing close to what she said. The customer care woman at the branch I was going to, was so grumpy. I had so much faith in the customer care system in this country, and frankly until today, it has been nothing but excellent. So guess what, I must have called so many times, the woman got frustrated. I just kept thinking, 'This whole state isn't even that big. You can drive around in less that three hours.' So, what the heck is wrong? We drove around just a small city (The city is a part of our county. Our county is one of the counties in the state.) This was where Lagos came up. Who gets lost in Lagos? Seriously? Nobody. There's always someone to ask or call. I trust okadamen! They definitely don't dull at all. I really wanted to go back home, because I was tired and hungry and it did not seem like we were making progress. And as my people would say; 

"Ti a o ba mo ibi ti a n lo, a sha mo ibi ti a tin bo"
(If you don't know where you're going, you should at least know where you're coming from.)

 Anyway, I finally got to the branch, and guess what, I was too late so I'd to re-schedule.The branch was completely off the JP Morgan Chase the earlier woman talked about, by the way. SMH. My Daddy usually asks us to be grateful in whatever situation. He also always tells us to find the good in whatever circumstance. And, that's what I did today, or at least tried to do. It's very synonymous with life. We are always lost. There are times, we set out for a particular journey in life and then we are handed several disappointments, surprises and delays along the way. We navigate through different routes and ask for help from family, friends or even complete strangers and in most cases, they might not be able to help too. While no man is an island on his own, there are some challenges God has designed for us to solve ourselves. It will be frustrating, it will be exhausting...sometimes, you will starve and in more terrible cases, you may even cry. But eventually, you will get there. That of course is if you do not quit. And it takes a lot of determination, persistence and perseverance to NOT quit. I like how people say something about how failing or falling is not the problem, the real problem is quitting or refusing to get up. So, if you are lost in any area of you life, like I was today and you're thinking of quitting, I strongly advise that you don't. On getting home, my Dad jokingly suggested I carried a bottle of water the next time I'm heading out. I'm definitely going to do that. So if you're on a journey and you seem lost, just prepare, ask for help and be really determined. You will get there!


I'm not even sure that's an appropriate title. But I literally LOL'd when I saw the video below. I had a totally different post planned out for today, but then I saw this video and thought why not just share. Patrick Obohiagbon is quite famous with his vocabulary. He is really English savvy. I initially always felt he made up many of the 'big grammars' but I took time to listen patiently one day and realized each word or phrase was actually right and even apt for the context in which he used them. Anyway, in this video below, he shared his opinion about the on going Rivers state crisis. Quite frankly, I wasn't following, I was too distracted by the big words. LOL. So, I still don't know his opinion even after the five minutes video. SMH. Enjoy.

On a serious note though, who is going to remind Nigerian politicians that 2015 is still two whole years away?

#ChildNotBride And The Nigerian People.

Pedophilia is disgusting. No, disgusting does not fully describe it. It is inhumane. And so, when I got a hint somehow on social networks that Nigerian Senators were about to sign an act of the constitution allowing early marriages, I was alarmed. What were they thinking? It is bad enough, Yerima is married to a fifteen year old, but now signing an act to endorse the craziness , preposterous! At first, I was in denial and just ignored it, I didn't read about it or tweet about it or anything. I ignored it.

However, last week, I stumbled on a post by Myne Whitman, on her blog talking about the issue. It was there I realized that  section 29 of the Nigerian Constitution which was supposedly the reason for the uproar contains a completely different issue. You can understand my disappointment when I realized what was in section 29 of the constitution;
 29. (1) Any citizen of Nigeria of full age who wishes to renounce his Nigerian citizenship shall make a declaration in the prescribed manner for the renunciation.
(2) The President shall cause the declaration made under subsection (1) of this section to be registered and upon such registration, the person who made the declaration shall cease to be a citizen of Nigeria.
(3) The President may withhold the registration of any declaration made under subsection (1) of this section if-
(a) the declaration is made during any war in which Nigeria is physically involved; or
(b) in his opinion, it is otherwise contrary to public policy.
(4) For the purposes of subsection (1) of this section.
(a) "full age" means the age of eighteen years and above;
(b) any woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age.

 The part under contention is actually section 29(4)(b) which the senators had wanted to remove because it seemed to be a repetition of 29(4)(a) since Section 21 of the Child’s Rights Act of Nigeria already nullifies the marriage of persons below 18 years. There is a punishment of N500,000 or a 5 year jail term, or both for offenders, so I wonder why Senator Yerima still walks free and a senator.

I was not disappointed because of the content of section 29 of the constitution, I was mostly disappointed that people didn't get their facts right before jumping into conclusion about majority of Nigeria's legislators. Not that I'm a fan of any of them in the first place. But it became so clear that Nigerians have no iota of trust in our leaders, not that they can be blamed. But how do you run a successful government, when the people you're supposed to represent do not trust you. Many people are frustrated and angry and it makes them jump into unnecessary conclusions, but this is a very sensitive issue and should be treated as such. With the presence of social media, it has never been easier to spread all types of news. The only reason a woman who is married shall be deemed to be of full age is for the purpose of renouncing their citizenship, if they so wish, what then is the problem?

Instead of digging up issues that do not exist, why not join heads and agree to sign petitions tackling the many other issues we are facing presently. There are hundreds of such problems, literally. By signing of petitions, I'm not talking of people sitting behind their computers, laptops, tablets and mobile phones ranting away. I'm talking about people actually getting into action and speaking against what is wrong. You see, there are always distractions, things to make us lose sight of the real problems. There always will be. Because, as a people, we are easily distracted.

Of course, I still detest Pedophilia and its many forms. Child molestation, rape, trafficking, harassment or whatever thing people do to the detriment of children MUST be spoken against and STOPPED. Those are the types of problems to be tackled and conquered and they will be.  In fact, if that is the positive outcome of this 'Constitution Saga', great! Because, it means that it has called the attention of the Nigerian people to some of the problems our society is facing. If it is a wake up call, if that is what it takes to jolt Nigerians into action, then so be it.

...Before It's Too Late.

I originally wrote this about four years ago. I was going through my books recently and found it. Enjoy.


The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. Every man/woman whether consciously or sub-consciously wants to be praised, appreciated and encouraged. We want to hear words like "I love you", "I admire you", "You look pretty", "Your dress is beautiful" and things like that. Do you know where we fail? We never tell others. A relationship expert once offered these moving words:

"I remember when I took your new car on the road and wrecked it. I thought you would be livid and come down hard on me, but you didn't. I remember when we went to the beach and you didn't want to go because you said it was going to rain. We went and it rained. I was sure you'd rub it in and say, 'I told you so!' but you didn't. Then there was the time I spilled blueberry juice down the front of your new white tux. I knew you'd be upset and blame me but you didn't. And remember that  formal evening? I was mistaken and told you it was casual. You wore blue jeans and felt like fish out of water. I was sure you would storm in anger and leave me standing the there. But you didn't. I wanted to tell you how much I loved and how much I appreciated you for all those things when you return from Vietnam; but you didn't."

Most of us think wonderful things about people, but we never tell them. We often forget or perhaps we don't even know that praise becomes valuable only if you impart it to others. "There is... a time to speak" (Ecclesiastes 3: 7b). This time is limited, when it's over, it's gone.

Sometimes, we even think we're doing something wrong. But, it's really important to know that for every thought we have towards another person, the important thing is the motive behind what we think or say about a person. Hence, even the recipients of compliments should be careful about what we insinuate about compliments.

The pronoun 'we' has been prominent in this write-up simply because I'm not innocent too. Apparently, I'm writing to encourage myself as well. If you think good things about someone, tell them. Give those little gifts, say those kind words, they always help. Believe me, they do. After all, it's not about just giving great things, but about giving, whether little or great with GREAT LOVE.

"...It got to my turn to introduce myself. Just before I spoke, he said 'do you know what I like about this girl?' He was talking about me. Two people tried guessing but they guessed wrong. Then he said 'her smile'. How happy I was..."
Bottom line; VOICE OUT! before it's too late.


"The night sky isn't bright because of one star, but because of billion stars. Be bright, be powerful, be black."- Kerry Washington.

New Beginnings...

For a very long time in my life, I've struggled with many things, with many thoughts, one of which is if I know how to be a writer or if I can learn how to be one. I am at an interesting stage of my life, maybe interesting isn't the word, but I'm at a particular stage in life. I'm still kind of new to real adulthood; the type of adulthood that comprises of age, decisions, future plans and many of those types of things. So, I'm trying out new things. I'm learning to be quite spontaneous and I'm learning to embrace life with its many forms. One of those new things is Blogging. It's something I've considered and shoved aside several times, I've given myself different silly excuses to not blog; "Too many people own blogs", "I don't have the time for it", "I'm not even sure sure I'm interested". Frankly, I still agree with those things, but I also agree with the reality of wanting a space of mine, somewhere to express myself freely and somewhere to just write. Really, just write.

To make it very easy for me, this will be a platform for ME. Yes, I'm selfish like that. I don't want to bother my pretty head (I'm also narcissist like that :D) about impressing anybody with what I write here. It'll be for me and whoever wants to. You can bet my Daddy will always come here!ha-ha. He's my number one fan. I will just write here however I feel like. As to what direction this blog will take, I don't know yet. I really don't want to know. I take pride in that, I know a little bit of everything. It will probably be a little bit of everything. I'm a lot of things in one. Different parts of me make the whole of me and it will be the same for this blog. I just know that whenever I come to this blog, I want to leave feeling better. That's the dream.

Here's to taking bold steps...Here's to conquering fear...Here's to new beginnings!

Photo Source: