On Staying Woke And Resisting Anxiety

Everyone understands anxiety (well, many people do). And we even sometimes are able to conquer it, we know the signs...and as Christians we are well aware of what the Bible tells us about anxiety and worry. We know God is for us. We have read and read and read page after page in the Bible telling us who we are in Christ. In fact on some days we feel peaceful and free and content. And all of a sudden, the next minute or day, life happens. Anxiety creeps in and you have to start to adjust all over again.

Well, we have to continually guard against anxiety. To do this, we must renew our minds daily. In other words, we have to STAY WOKE. The truth is before we even set our feet on the ground each day, satan is going to try it. He will attempt to mess with our heads. Our minds. Our thoughts. Our feelings. Then enemy seeks to get us down. To destroy us. We are now aware of this. After all, in battle and in war, you must first understand the strategy of your opposition; of your enemy. Now that you do, what shall you do?

RESIST. Learn to equip yourself with and arm yourself with the word of God. God has given us the authority to resist. Replace anxious thoughts with reassuring thoughts of God's words. We also have to get to the dwelling place with Jesus. Thereafter you will remain at peace despite what the day throws ahead of you. I didn't say that means you would have a completely easy day. It means you are clear headed, you are filled with peace, and most of all armed with wisdom to handle whatever happens. This is all tried and tested folks.

Part of that wisdom, for instance is picking your battles wisely. Don't let a bad five minutes destroy an entire day. Don't let an awful short conversation with an awful person affect your entire conversations for the rest of the day with decent people. Do whatever practical thing you need to do to protect your sanity.

My motto for the remainder of 2017 is that Goodness and Mercy WILL follow me ALL the days of my life. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord. In fact, I feel like my theme for the rest of the year is DWELL.  I will dwell and thrive in Christ. Look, the year might be close to being over, but it doesn't stop you from setting new themes and goals and resolutions. It shouldn't stop you from living as full as you can. Four months is a LONG time. 

"Those who dwell in the shelter of the most high will find REST in the shadow of the almighty." -Psalm 91:1

So yes, I will mostly be minding my business and dwelling for the rest of the year by God's grace. It reminds me of one of my favorite verses: "for I bear the mark of Christ, let NO ONE trouble me." As you can see, I plan on maintaining my peace while dwelling in God for the rest of this year and for the rest of my life even. 

Therefore as you go back to school, work, living fabulous, or whatever else rocks your boat, remember this: You will be okay.

I sincerely hope I remember it as well.



On Three Things To Note As Summer Ends and Schools Resume

I should have been more consistent these past few weeks. Even I know that. But I wasn’t kidding when I said the end of summer was making me a bit nervous. BUT I am somewhat in the groove of things and about ready for summer to end. I’m not worried about keeping up with blogging when I became way too busy. If I can plan in advance, I will be fine. That said, you can keep up with me on Instagram.

I don’t know why I don’t upload pictures of myself more on this blog. It just…I don’t know. I guess since I’m not a fashion or hair blogger. You probably can’t even call me a lifestyle blogger. Anyway, I took some real professional quality pictures [by chance] today with my iPhone. Here:

So three things for today.

One: As schools begin to resume, if you can afford to, you can be of help. One way to do this is donate to your local school board(s) to offset lunch debts for underprivileged kids. Another thing is to call up local charities, who sometimes have Amazon wish-lists. It is probably not as expensive as you imagine. But yes I find that when people feel helpless, doing stuff like this can help relieve burdens. In other words, be the answer to someone else's prayers.

Two: Hurricane Harvey. Sigh. Natural disasters are awful. There is only so much anyone can do to prevent them. That said, what people need now are SOLUTIONS. So yes indeed our hearts are with them. Our prayers are with them. But you don't need to tell victims this. Pray in the privacy of your house for them; you don't need to post the prayers online. Why? You ask. Well, someone online gave the best analysis for this. You see, some people stranded in the flood don't have access to power. The only access to information that can help them by providing rescue or some sort of haven is probably through social media. Such people will scour online hashtags for any information at all. Now imagine your floods of "Our thoughts and prayers are with you" obscuring actual, practical steps and provisions to save their lives. They definitely need prayers and KNOW many are praying for them. So  give way for them to see how God is coming through for them. Thank you. So in that vein, if you are posting on any social media, please post numbers of rescue organizations, places they can get help, news on what's happening etc. I saw that some took offense to this reasoning, calling it an assault on their religion. You guys really need to chill with this sensitivity and fighting for God ish. God didn't send your behind to be his defender, okay? Okay. Thanks again

Three: A conversation with my mother today about a friend who failed reminded me to reiterate this. Failure is NOT and will NEVER be the end of this world. I say this because I know it. There are not many things I can say with absolute authority because I run away from absolutes. This ONE I know without a doubt: you can RISE from failure. People often remain stuck after they fail. Instead of wallowing in it, just regroup. Create a new vision for yourself. Start again. Have you realized you have failed so badly, the school asked you to withdraw? You did bad. But you can come back from it. Maybe take a minute to figure out what works and doesn't work. But GET BACK UP. It will be hard, but you will be fine.

Well that's it.

For those headed back to school or maybe even starting college for the first time, good luck! Here is a throwback where I wrote some words to live by in college.



Photo credit: my sister

Friday Reflections

1.) Person of Interest is pretty dope. I mean by the time I realized it was sci-fi I was pretty sucked in already.

2.) If you are looking for a carefree, black, and uber (pun intended) successful chick, look no further than Badass Boz.

3.) Let it be known that as long as that chick is at Uber, I am NOT boycotting Uber. Yeah, I stan for my sistahs like that.

4.) Mehn I really want to like "Insecure", because again I stan for my sistahs. But the random sex with girls you met at the grocery store checkout; or desperately looking for sex so much, you practically forced your neighbor for sex; the THIRST...I really don't know anymore.

5.) "When Jesus stood on the side of justice, turning over tables- would you have said both sides are wrong?" - Austin Channing Brown

6.) What if the Western media covered Charlottesville the same way it covers other nations (particularly African nations)?

7.) Oprah Winfrey is on a roll, again.

8.) Can you love God AND trap music?

9.) This family learned to mourn their brother/son's death in their father's house.

10.) The last days of summer is seriously making me jittery/nervous/anxious.

11.) I have always thought it was possible to have a black friend, be married to  a black person, heck even have a black kid and still be racist. Anyway, read how donald ruined this dude's relationship with his mother.

On Who Your Neighbor Is And Inaction

One fine morning in December, with the glaring winter sun in full view, a man walked to work. The day before had been particularly hard, and he struggled to find any reason to show up today. But he decided to go anyway. He walked his usual route with the confidence that comes with routine, paying no mind to his surrounding. He was used to the silence that plagued the road because of how early in the day he walked. He would normally walk on the sidewalk, brushing off long branches from the trees. Today was no different. As he walked, the cool winter breeze made the branches sway back and forth. He thought about his life and how far from achieving his dreams he was when a loud jump interrupted his reverie.

Friday Reflections

1.) "I rarely  meet men in real life as extraordinary as ones on film, and rarely see women on film as extraordinary as ones I know in real life." - Twitter User, @SmartAssJen

2.) Plus size fashion can't and shouldn't be ignored anymore.

3.) Questions for Cory Taylor about dying. This might sound cliche but the article gave me renewed sense of appreciation for life; a renewed disdain for pettiness and trivial issues; and a huge amount of courage to tackle life's adversities with appreciation. Because ultimately, good times and bad times still amount to good memories.

4.) The email Hilary Clinton's pastor sent to her the day after she lost the election. I have a new saying: SUNDAY IS COMING!

4.) "HBO’s Confederate takes as its premise an ugly truth that black Americans are forced to live every day: What if the Confederacy wasn’t wholly defeated? African Americans do not need science-fiction, or really any fiction, to tell them that that 'history is still with us.'" - Ta-Nehisi Coates

5.) Here is a cold feedback from an entrepreneur who left her day job to pursue her dreams.

6.) This writer explained why she hid her second pregnancy from the internet. Spoiler alert: answer is somewhat in number 7 :)

7.) What I'll say regarding number 6 is that the decision to announce your pregnancy on social media, as with other social media displays like a new boyfriend can be tricky sometimes. Ultimately though (and this sounds cliche) do what YOU like, but try not to be so paralyzed with the fear of losing a thing that you don't celebrate it at all. Even if things [say a relationship] eventually go sour; it doesn't negate the good times.

8.) I just watched Manchester by the Sea. It's a really good movie, which despite the humor and astute dialogue, I just couldn't quite get past the sadness. The emotions were almost overwhelming, and spoiler alert: it didn't leave me feeling good. But it had the most realistic ending. This is the most comprehensive review, but also features lots of spoilers.

A Summer Update and Some Rambling

A summer update and some rambling.

I follow this incredible girls' empowerment page on Instagram. It is for:

"...fly girls who defy expectations and navigate the world on their own terms. A community. A philosophy. A safe space."

Anyway I love it.

Speaking of Instagram, follow me on Instagram! When life gets in the way of long, detailed posts, I'm pretty sure I'll still be able to post snippets there.

But more to the point, this picture struck a chord in my heart.

Isn't it just true? I remember explaining to my siblings that someone I know was enthusiastically and happily stunning for the current head of the executive branch aka a former reality tv show star aka thrice married, social media-in-chief. Now ordinarily, political differences is not enough [in my opinion] to sow a discord in any relationship. But as we have seen in recent times, it's now beyond politics and partisanship; it speaks to your values and what you hold true. Now if you were a white male, I would understand [sort of] that you are just a selfish person who cares about no one else. Okay. But this person in question isn't just black like me, he is an immigrant as well. I know too well the opportunities that his being in America has provided for him and his family. I know him so much that  I know everything donald stands for works against this dude. It's like deliberately voting AGAINST your own interest. I don't get it. Not to mention, he is a Christian. So my sister suggested just screen-munching the headlines of the day to this person to show him his folly. Because pick at random any headline, and you would see that our political leaders are not doing right by us. I just said, you know what, I am done. If I have to explain to you how this administration hurts you, well then...you are a lost cause. Do what you like.


I have outgrown so many things. I don't know what it is, but my tolerance for BS reduces everyday. I am still working on outgrowing shrinking myself for people who are intimidated by my intelligent and opinionated self. I still sometimes worry about being "too much". I tell myself it's humility, but it's not. So may God help me to be unapologetically me.

I also hate small talks. Ugh. So I will avoid them at all costs. Humans of NY posted this woman's story yesterday. And I kept terming it "Goals", which is something I never do. No one's life is so great that I would want mine to be an exact replica, to be honest. But there was something about her approach to life. When someone asked what exactly made her "goals" to me. I just thought, you wouldn't understand no matter how hard I explained. The joy she radiated. The attitude and disposition towards life were admirable.

I have also overgrown society telling us how to live.

I find that people haven't yet realized how completely different human beings are from one another. So they try to dictate hard and fast rules that typically exclude people that have different temperaments. One instance is aggressive networking. I don't believe very much in it [please don't be like me oooh. Network like your life depends on it.] But I'm more of the let your work speak for you type. More on this later. I also for instance don't believe in finding your passion. So I'm different, in many ways. This isn't always good news, but I'm learning to manage my individuality. Which often than not means having to not always explain life choices every time because it's...different. And yes even to friends.

So believe me when I say I'm taking my advice  in cutting out that and those not beneficial to my mind, soul, and body.

Well, that was a long update, wasn't it?

Oh, and just because I haven't posted on this blog in August (SMH), I also want to wish my parents well here as well.

They celebrated 30 years of marriage at the beginning of August and that was awesome. People complain about what a bad rap marriage gets these days, so I like to shout out to my parents a lot so people can see that a good, long-lasting marriage is possible with the grace of God.