In Memory of 2020

I had two separate posts planned before the end of this year but honestly I just couldn't, and then I was just going to not say anything. But then I realized I would not like my last post of this [wild ride of a] year to be that last rant on this blog. 

So in OG blog style, I will ramble on and see where this takes us. This is not a review of the year at all, neither is it a review of my own personal life. At least, I am not planning for it to be that. Who knows what it will look like when I finish?

I am exhausted. 

Yes, I am very exhausted. What a year we have had? 2020 was something. 

At first, it felt like something everyone just said but ultimately, it became all the more clearer that there was something about this year. There was a collective grief we all shared. 

Whether it was Kobe Bryant's sudden death; or the wildfires that ravaged Australia; or whew the WILDEST phenomenon of our generation—COVID-19, a phenomenon that has taken significantly more than we could have imagined; or the racial reckoning and blatant injustice that continues to permeate our society; or the colossal mess that are the politicians running this country; a year in which people were so lonely some had to literally die alone; a year when it became clear just who the essential workers are; a year of sacrifice; a year of grief; a year of anger; a year of generosity; the year of ZOOM; a year marked by scarcity of toilet papers; a year of so so so so many deaths: RBG, THE Chadwick Boseman, Legendary John Lewis, pillars of societies, pillars of families; a year of selfishness; a year of irresponsibility, a year of greed; the year of quarantine; a year of readjusting

What a year we have had. 

Yet, this year was not all horrible. This was also the year people found love; the year people had their babies; the year people signed their book deals; the year people wrote; the year we had each other; the year we rallied; the year people connected and reconnected; the year we laughed; and cried from too much laughter; the year a black and asian woman was elected Vice President of these United states; the year more than 80 million Americans said no to fascism and hate and corruption.  It was the year that was. In so many ways, it just was.

Even in its deepest, darkest, most frightening moments of this year, we can say there is something to be grateful for. Even if it's just you, yourself. 

For all that this year was, for me personally, it will always be the year I defended my dissertation and graduated. I can't tell you how immensely proud I am and how grateful I am to God to have survived that and to have finished so well.

I am so thrilled we survived and so happy about all the great things that happened this year. But I also mourn all that never was this year. I mourn the deaths. So so many deaths. 

I think I certainly could have blogged more than I did. If there ever was a year to record everything down, it was this one. Because it will always be in the history books and what a time to be alive. 

I was extremely busy. Every time I had I poured into completing my dissertation. Since this is still solely a one-man situation, you can see how blogging took a back seat.

I looveeee having a blog. But this year, I also really reexamined my why. Perhaps it's also  why I didn't write as much? Perhaps not.

Many people have been looking forward to 2021 and at first I was tempted to ask, "do you think just because it's a new day, just because the clock turned a minute to 12:00am January 1, things would automatically flip and life becomes oh so perfect again?"  Oh you think cos its 2021 people would suddenly stop politicizing masks and become considerate and empathetic? What do you think will change? But I soon realized it was the wrong approach. The wrong question to ask. There is nothing wrong with hope. And hope, the way people have it for 2021, is actually what we need. And really, the fact that people can still hope for the new year is a testament to how resilient human beings are. The one thing people have not talked enough about is the toll this year has had on people's mental health, on increased levels of anxiety, on fear. The fear of the unknown; the fear that if something like this could happen, what is stopping something significantly worse in the future? 

But there IS light at the end of the tunnel. I know it for sure. Case in point, we do have the miraculous invention that is the vaccine. 

A part of me is worried that, as they said on SNL, the light at the end of the tunnel has shown us how dark and stinky the tunnel is.

Because how would people even get the vaccine? Why is it that people who denied this virus are suddenly getting front line access to the vaccine? Why is that a medical doctor who went online to sow distrust in the vaccine just to sound cool is suddenly getting this vaccine before most other people who actually need it? Why why why? How does the economy recover? Where do we go from here? What about all the hate and racism still prevalent among us?

So many questions.

But all the wrong questions

What we should focus on is the hope. Hope.

I KNOW God will come through. As surely as he lives, he will.

I KNOW we will be fine. So that hope people have for 2021, I hope it radiates even more.

Have an amazing 2021, everyone!

And see you on the other side.




  1. Happy New Year Ife!
    2020 was really a lot. So much was going on and I agree that it was a good year to document more, even if just for personal journals. That's something I vow to do more of going forward. I also agree that hope is needed - hope is really what keeps the world, the hope that things can be better in spite of what it may look like.
    Congrats on your graduation! It's so easy to miss out on celebrating those while in the midst of so much going on. I hope you got to enjoy that win somehow.

    Cheers to living fully! ��

    1. Aww thanks so much. Happy New Year too! And absolutely, here's to living FULLY and INTENTIONALLY. I hope you have an amazing new year :)

  2. Congratulations again on your dissertation. You should be proud. I wish I could will 2021 into being great!

    1. Thanks so much as always! It's always so good to read your comment. And me too, fingers crossed, prayers up, toes crossed, haha, just everything to will this year into being good to us all, collectively. Enough of the grief, good God!