Over the past couple of weeks or so, it came out that Otedola's daughter, Temi Otedola, had gotten married to Nigerian musician, Mr. Eazi. Honestly, that's really all you need to know about this whole thing. The pictures were on Vogue. Of course, I did not actually go to the website (nor did I do so even now as I link for you all) because I did not care. I saw the photos everywhere else. They looked elegant and beautiful and expensive, I said to myself and kept it moving. That should be all, right? Wrong. Then came the deep-dives, the analysis, the obsession, the comparisons, the "ahhhh this life, JUST HAVE MONEY" comments. Or "THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT." Or "Ahh why am I poor." Or "is this how I will die in Abule Ijesha?" The last one was, in fact, a real comment. I did not make that up.
There is something about social media, the way it postures itself as this leveler, when really what it does is expose how unequal everything is, but doing so without context. It's why you see a 22-year-old hate her life because she's seen the life of a 40-year-old look so complete and put together. Never mind that the 40 year old has had almost two decades of experience in adulthood, and the 22-year-old is literally just getting started. It's why an intern sees a SVP sound confident and extremely coherent and wonder, "but why aren't I that good? why am I not that confident?" Sweetie, you haven't earned the right to be that confident. You haven't put in nearly enough work to be that confident. It's why you who earns a regular salary like the rest of us, with a regular career like the rest of us, could look at the Otedolas (one of the world's richest families) and wonder "I hope my wedding can be like that." Habibi, this wedding was in Iceland, Dubai, and Monaco. Your wedding will never be like that. But aspirational content thrives. It's why influencers peddle around in business class flights, casually flaunting Hermes bracelets in GRWM (the internet moniker for Get Ready With Me videos where the subject shows her audience her entire routine to prepare for a social event), armed with Polene purses. They know it's what keeps people coming. For as long as people believe that, too, could be them, the popularity of the influencers grow.
It also taps into another obsession: an hyper-fixation on wealth and materialism. As a people, we are too obsessed with the wealthy, too consumed with their wealth. We are overridden by greed and a desperate desire for more, never less. We do so in a world where most of us will never attain even a sliver of the kind of money the Otedolas spent on that wedding, how much more their entire networth. It's no surprise the rich get away with all sorts. Too many people deposit their admiration and cheer for people insulated from them and their kind. It's a bizarre sociological phenomenon.
I have this same concern for those whom I had never once seen celebrate their own family or any friend but were loudest in cheering absurdly because their "gym teacher" and "English teacher" got engaged. Millions of people already admire these folks. Take a fraction of that slobbering admiration and devote it to your friend, your sibling, your colleague, your parent. This world will be better for it.
Love,
I
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