1.) "Incompetence dressed up as strategy is still incompetence." Preach, Chimamanda. Preach.
2.) This old article/profile on Marilyn Mosby, the prosecutor for the Freddie Gray case as a reminder that sometimes one can get into politics with the best intentions and still muddle everything up.
Indeed, not just politics; anything really. I'm just quite sorry she lost more than the case.
3.) Oh boy, the King Women series by Kemi Adetiba. I had heard quite a lot about it. However, if there is anything about the internet and my generation, it's the hype of everything. So I took it with a grain of salt. I did however watch the Remi Fagbohun episode. Pretty stellar. I will definitely watch the old ones as well.
4.) Comey hearing aka political Super Bowl. If you ask me, it was a little bit underwhelming. Not because Comey didn't have the tea, but because those folks representing us are a little bit spineless and will take no action no matter what he testified. Ahmean, what's up with Grandpa McCain?!
5.) Seriously, the same way there is an age requirement before you can run for these offices, there really should be age limits too. The law of diminishing returns starts to manifest for many people once they approach 80.
6.) Have you heard of #Olowogbogboro? So God is using Nathaniel Bassey to stir up a revival and passion for Him among young people on the internet. I had been seeing it all around and was curious. Till M and S told me about it: a one hour praise and prayer event live on Instagram. It was, as we say on Twitter, LIT.
7.) I’m not even sure which was more exciting: getting together to praise God or seeing so many young people be so passionate about praising God. Yes, Christ trended #Olowogbogboro
8.) It just occurred to me that we are about halfway through the year. God help us.
On Substituting Fear With Love
Sunday, June 4, 2017
One of my biggest fears is becoming jaded. And in this maddening world, it has never been easier to be jaded. Five minutes of reading tweets from America's president is enough to make you roll your eyes so bad, you almost convulse. Anyway, so as we all know London suffered a disaster this weekend when terrorists attacked, and left some dead with several others injured. This came just weeks after the Manchester bombing. So of course, it's a lot. And this kind of news tends to overwhelm people and sadly, terrify people as well.
But this most recent attacks did the opposite. Instead of cowering or submitting to fear, most people responded with love and strength, and just the kind of unity the terrorists could not have expected. As I watched Colplay perform Viva La Vida during the Manchester concert for the victims of the Manchester terror attack, I was renewed with hope. A kind that really is hard to define. What is even more beautiful is everything Ariana Grande has done since the attack. The maturity she has displayed, goodness! And what's MOST beautiful is seeing families of victims, amidst their sorrow and personal loss, charge everyone to not bow down to terror; seeing them insist that no one drastically alter how they live just because of some morons; seeing these people denounce terrorism, not the entire religion of Islam. Ha. Amazing. As soon as the attack in London happened, people who lived nearby went on Twitter to offer their apartments to strangers who needed a place to stay; "a cup of tea" or just "a couch to calm down", some said. Truly, truly kind.
Of course, there are the few who still love to use such vicious attacks to incite vitriol and hatred. But they can not and will not win. Because people have proven again that not only are we resilient, we will not succumb to fear. American news media in their love for hysteria kept talking about how Londoners were reeling, and how streets were deserted yidi yada. Londoners were like nah bruh, it's Sunday, we havin' a lie in 😀. In fact the hashtag #ThingsThatLeaveBritainReeling consists of things that actually leave the British people reeling, as opposed to the terror attacks. Can you imagine how defeated the perpetrators must feel? Ha that brings so much joy to my heart.
I know many people are still somewhat tempted to blame Islam. But let me remind you that the REAL Muslims are fasting and praying and condemning these attacks. Some of such real muslims were the first to call the police yesterday. So please ignore those select few who weaponize religion. If we can find a way not to condemn all Catholics when a few priests destroy the lives of innocent boys; if we can find a way not to condemn all Christians for the actions of the Ku Klux Klan; surely we can find a way to not vilify all Muslims because of the actions of a few morons.
In these times, beyond the love emanating on social media and from people generally, I also remember a love most important to me: God's love. I remember his words in John 16:33(NLT):
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
And these words give me all the peace I need. It's not that He will overcome or that he may, it's that He already HAS overcome. What more do I need?
Love,
I
But this most recent attacks did the opposite. Instead of cowering or submitting to fear, most people responded with love and strength, and just the kind of unity the terrorists could not have expected. As I watched Colplay perform Viva La Vida during the Manchester concert for the victims of the Manchester terror attack, I was renewed with hope. A kind that really is hard to define. What is even more beautiful is everything Ariana Grande has done since the attack. The maturity she has displayed, goodness! And what's MOST beautiful is seeing families of victims, amidst their sorrow and personal loss, charge everyone to not bow down to terror; seeing them insist that no one drastically alter how they live just because of some morons; seeing these people denounce terrorism, not the entire religion of Islam. Ha. Amazing. As soon as the attack in London happened, people who lived nearby went on Twitter to offer their apartments to strangers who needed a place to stay; "a cup of tea" or just "a couch to calm down", some said. Truly, truly kind.
Of course, there are the few who still love to use such vicious attacks to incite vitriol and hatred. But they can not and will not win. Because people have proven again that not only are we resilient, we will not succumb to fear. American news media in their love for hysteria kept talking about how Londoners were reeling, and how streets were deserted yidi yada. Londoners were like nah bruh, it's Sunday, we havin' a lie in 😀. In fact the hashtag #ThingsThatLeaveBritainReeling consists of things that actually leave the British people reeling, as opposed to the terror attacks. Can you imagine how defeated the perpetrators must feel? Ha that brings so much joy to my heart.
I know many people are still somewhat tempted to blame Islam. But let me remind you that the REAL Muslims are fasting and praying and condemning these attacks. Some of such real muslims were the first to call the police yesterday. So please ignore those select few who weaponize religion. If we can find a way not to condemn all Catholics when a few priests destroy the lives of innocent boys; if we can find a way not to condemn all Christians for the actions of the Ku Klux Klan; surely we can find a way to not vilify all Muslims because of the actions of a few morons.
In these times, beyond the love emanating on social media and from people generally, I also remember a love most important to me: God's love. I remember his words in John 16:33(NLT):
"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
And these words give me all the peace I need. It's not that He will overcome or that he may, it's that He already HAS overcome. What more do I need?
Love,
I
Friday Reflections
Friday, June 2, 2017
1.) Socially awkward.
2.) I just got on the Designated Survivor train. I'm not used to seeing Jack Bauer not running around hunting down a terrorist; otherwise so far so good.
3.) Although, why has no one told me about the awesomeness of Jake Gyllenhaal. Goodness, he can ACT! I watched two movies he starred in (Southpaw and Nightcrawler) and he was so different in both movies, only someone as good could have pulled off both character.
4.) Why doesn't he have an Oscar?
5.) I have to sometimes remind myself that I’m not alone and God is with me on this journey.
6.) Cast your worries on to God for he cares.
7.) Still with her.
2.) I just got on the Designated Survivor train. I'm not used to seeing Jack Bauer not running around hunting down a terrorist; otherwise so far so good.
3.) Although, why has no one told me about the awesomeness of Jake Gyllenhaal. Goodness, he can ACT! I watched two movies he starred in (Southpaw and Nightcrawler) and he was so different in both movies, only someone as good could have pulled off both character.
4.) Why doesn't he have an Oscar?
5.) I have to sometimes remind myself that I’m not alone and God is with me on this journey.
6.) Cast your worries on to God for he cares.
7.) Still with her.
On Praying Boldly
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Blogging is good for when you have something to share. I say this because I have something to share😀. My current plan on YouVersion is about prayer. The plan is called "Teach Me to Pray: Devotions From Time of Grace". Before I continue, I need to reiterate the awesomeness of YouVersion. You need that app for your spiritual journey mannnn. I mean. Ok let's continue. So praying. I like to keep emphasizing the importance of praying, because many Christians just don't get it.
Oh what needless pain we bear all because we don't take things to God in prayer.
Anyway, so this plan one day spoke on the importance of praying boldly. I didn't say with arrogance, I said with confidence; confidence that the God you are speaking with hears you. He doesn't just hear you, He is just as capable of helping you with whatever it is. I mean whatever. He looks forward to hearing you and welcomes your prayer. Sometimes people are convinced God doesn't care about their prayers or that as soon as they express their hearts' desire, that's when God decides to turn His back. That couldn't be less true. God doesn't just tolerate us, He loves us. So ask. Ask boldly even. Ask like you are before the King of kings. Don't ask like you're irritating God because you really are not. And there will probably be times you don't know how to or you just don't feel like asking. Well, God knows our thoughts even before we express them. Indeed, the holy spirit is able to interpret even our groans and sighs. God really, truly cares. Get on it girllll....or dudee! Haha.
"...You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord."- Psalm 139:3-4 (NLT)
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8: 26-28 (MSG)
"...You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord."- Psalm 139:3-4 (NLT)
"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." Romans 8: 26-28 (MSG)
So when you ask, believe you have received. When you ask, believe that God has heard and trust in the process even if you immediately feel like nothing has changed. Of course, it's not as easy as it sounds. But know that God is sovereign. That's very true. And he is always moved with compassion for us. So honestly, you have to learn to live beyond your feelings. My pastor shared something about this past week and it was quite good. She talked about practical ways to live beyond your feelings, to not be so consumed with or act based on how we feel every single time. It was timely too. So I will probably blog about it some time.
Well that's it.
Pray. Even more, pray boldly. And when you absolutely can't, know the holy spirit has gotcha.
Love,
I
Well that's it.
Pray. Even more, pray boldly. And when you absolutely can't, know the holy spirit has gotcha.
Love,
I
Friday Reflections
Friday, May 26, 2017
1.) Priscilla Chan took every single science class offered in high school, and when she ran out of classes to take, she created a cancer Biology class. Woah.
2.) See her husband's commencement speech at Harvard yesterday on helping others find their purpose.
3.) They are really inspiring. I love how they challenge each other and grow together. Fave.
4.) If panting could be felt easily through words, you'd hear my heart thumping against my chest right now and me breathing through my mouth. I just completed this workout.
5.) Whew
6.) I'm super thankful for life and for grace and for favor.
7.) Pray boldly.
8.) Match making is as awkward as you think it is. No, it's more awkward. It's not that in itself it's a terrible idea; no the problem is doing it without even bothering to figure out the "type" for the person(s) you are matchmaking.
9.) Anyway, it's memorial day weekend.
Have a great one!
2.) See her husband's commencement speech at Harvard yesterday on helping others find their purpose.
3.) They are really inspiring. I love how they challenge each other and grow together. Fave.
4.) If panting could be felt easily through words, you'd hear my heart thumping against my chest right now and me breathing through my mouth. I just completed this workout.
5.) Whew
6.) I'm super thankful for life and for grace and for favor.
7.) Pray boldly.
8.) Match making is as awkward as you think it is. No, it's more awkward. It's not that in itself it's a terrible idea; no the problem is doing it without even bothering to figure out the "type" for the person(s) you are matchmaking.
9.) Anyway, it's memorial day weekend.
Have a great one!
On Hating the 4C Natural Hair Struggle
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Today we are talking about the natural hair struggle. So you probably already know my hair story and if you don't well, here. I want to be frank about MY own hair struggles, which I assume is the same with other black girls or at least those with the same hair pattern as me. Mine is 4C according to the natural hair gurus. 4C is usually synonymous with coarse, annoyingly-tough, kinky, always matted and tangled hair. That's my hair. Some parts of my hair might look like 4B though. Or no, I'll put it this way: whenever I manage to tame the hair and make it look nice, people swear it's a 4B and not a 4C. So the lower you go, the fancier the "curls". That's all BS to me. But I'm no expert, which is why I am choosing to talk about MY hair.
My hair stresses me. To be fair, even when my hair was relaxed, it was hard to manage. I like my hair. I really do. But why do I have to pre-poo, wash, condition, deep condition, do oil treatments, mix gazillion oils together to get good hair? Why do I have to do so much to grow it, and then when it finally grows, I have to tuck the hair under protective styles to retain this length? What then is the point of the length if it's going to always be hidden in protective styles? In all honesty, I don't do as much as others, but I do a lot too. Except during really hectic weeks, I spend about three hours (or more) EVERY week deep conditioning, shampooing, pre-pooing yidi yada.
What's funny is I don't know how, when, and why I bought into the hype. If you read my hair story, you'd know that from childhood up till I finished secondary school (high school), I never permed my hair AND I was in boarding school. Being in boarding school meant there was barely time to shower, much less care for any stupid hair. I only washed it and conditioned whenever I was home, which was about once in three months or so. My mom used to buy me hair creams, shampoos, conditioners (which, by the way had minerals and sulphate and other chemicals millennials would never touch with a ten foot pole if their lives depended on it). Anyway, so I would never ever use these products she bought me, because I was the most lackadaisical, carefree teenager in this whole wide world. I just had no care in this world. So no I never moisturized my hair. But my hair was so freaking full and HUGE and long. The hair blossomed. I wish I had a picture from those days with my hair just in its afro state. But I don't. My hair was so much that my aunt always joked that I had too much hair so if hairdressers mistreated my hair (which they often did) I shouldn't bother. I never did bother anyway. So with no care, the hair still thrived. Lesson number one: GENES play a huge role in hair growth.
Now I'll be foolish to revert completely to my old ways as a teenager. Because what my body could tolerate then, it probably can't now. It's the same way we used to eat all kinds of rubbish as kids, and we'd be fine. But the older we become, the more noticeable that belly pooch is. Still, moderation is key. It doesn't help that these products are ridiculously expensive. I don't really mind that. It's the time that kills me. That, and water. I detest having water run from my head to my face so much, I was VERY close to chopping all of my hair off my last wash day. Now I know without a doubt that I prefer my hair without relaxers, I don't like it bone straight; I don't even blow it out. I like it coily. Not those weird "definition" YouTubers advise you to get by contorting your hair into many different pretzels. I mean, I like my hair as is. So relaxers are out of it. I wish it was more manageable and I wish it tangled less. But I like it. So to not have to hate something I like so much, I have decided to ignore every stupid natural hair rule and just do me. It means not pouring water on my head every single week. It means just leaving my hair alone. It means doing protective styles I like.
If you feel the same frustration with your hair that I do, I understand. It doesn't help that societal definition and expectation of fine/pretty/beautiful hair is not necessarily ours, not even among the black community. Many people with our hair type genuinely think 4C hair is ugly and are disappointed about that. It's like, why would God make our own hair so...undesirable. If you type in Google: why is 4C hair so... the first word that pops out is ugly. That's why that Shea Moisture ad irritated me even more. If any group of women have hair struggles, it's definitely us black ones. But that's for another time. Anyway I think fussing too much over hair makes it more frustrating. Lesson number two: do you. Really, do you!
This may sound corny, but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. It's your hair, love it as is. And if your preference is bone straight, get out and buy that relaxer now. Perm the hair, fix a weave...seriously, do your hair the way you prefer it, not as some other person defines it. At least that's my plan henceforth.
Love,
I
My hair stresses me. To be fair, even when my hair was relaxed, it was hard to manage. I like my hair. I really do. But why do I have to pre-poo, wash, condition, deep condition, do oil treatments, mix gazillion oils together to get good hair? Why do I have to do so much to grow it, and then when it finally grows, I have to tuck the hair under protective styles to retain this length? What then is the point of the length if it's going to always be hidden in protective styles? In all honesty, I don't do as much as others, but I do a lot too. Except during really hectic weeks, I spend about three hours (or more) EVERY week deep conditioning, shampooing, pre-pooing yidi yada.
What's funny is I don't know how, when, and why I bought into the hype. If you read my hair story, you'd know that from childhood up till I finished secondary school (high school), I never permed my hair AND I was in boarding school. Being in boarding school meant there was barely time to shower, much less care for any stupid hair. I only washed it and conditioned whenever I was home, which was about once in three months or so. My mom used to buy me hair creams, shampoos, conditioners (which, by the way had minerals and sulphate and other chemicals millennials would never touch with a ten foot pole if their lives depended on it). Anyway, so I would never ever use these products she bought me, because I was the most lackadaisical, carefree teenager in this whole wide world. I just had no care in this world. So no I never moisturized my hair. But my hair was so freaking full and HUGE and long. The hair blossomed. I wish I had a picture from those days with my hair just in its afro state. But I don't. My hair was so much that my aunt always joked that I had too much hair so if hairdressers mistreated my hair (which they often did) I shouldn't bother. I never did bother anyway. So with no care, the hair still thrived. Lesson number one: GENES play a huge role in hair growth.
Now I'll be foolish to revert completely to my old ways as a teenager. Because what my body could tolerate then, it probably can't now. It's the same way we used to eat all kinds of rubbish as kids, and we'd be fine. But the older we become, the more noticeable that belly pooch is. Still, moderation is key. It doesn't help that these products are ridiculously expensive. I don't really mind that. It's the time that kills me. That, and water. I detest having water run from my head to my face so much, I was VERY close to chopping all of my hair off my last wash day. Now I know without a doubt that I prefer my hair without relaxers, I don't like it bone straight; I don't even blow it out. I like it coily. Not those weird "definition" YouTubers advise you to get by contorting your hair into many different pretzels. I mean, I like my hair as is. So relaxers are out of it. I wish it was more manageable and I wish it tangled less. But I like it. So to not have to hate something I like so much, I have decided to ignore every stupid natural hair rule and just do me. It means not pouring water on my head every single week. It means just leaving my hair alone. It means doing protective styles I like.
If you feel the same frustration with your hair that I do, I understand. It doesn't help that societal definition and expectation of fine/pretty/beautiful hair is not necessarily ours, not even among the black community. Many people with our hair type genuinely think 4C hair is ugly and are disappointed about that. It's like, why would God make our own hair so...undesirable. If you type in Google: why is 4C hair so... the first word that pops out is ugly. That's why that Shea Moisture ad irritated me even more. If any group of women have hair struggles, it's definitely us black ones. But that's for another time. Anyway I think fussing too much over hair makes it more frustrating. Lesson number two: do you. Really, do you!
This may sound corny, but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. It's your hair, love it as is. And if your preference is bone straight, get out and buy that relaxer now. Perm the hair, fix a weave...seriously, do your hair the way you prefer it, not as some other person defines it. At least that's my plan henceforth.
Love,
I
Invade My Privacy Tag
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Tags are fun. Unfortunately, I don't have a Vlog so I tend to do mine here and not on YouTube
I found this on Berry Dakara's YouTube page today and thought, why not? Okay let's do this.
1. Did you wake up cranky?
Nope. I woke up very thankful actually.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at your current age?
Lol. NO. God forbid.
3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Hmm I would say girls. Honestly, I don't think any sex is inherently better at being friends. I just said girls because a) I have more girl friends. b)I just happen to understand girls more, I think. I mean, I am a girl, after all.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Yea, why not?
5. Can you commit to one person?
Definitely. Beats committing to several people, in my opinion.
6. How do you look right now?
Lol. Not too good. I literally have a scarf on. It's a Sunday afternoon; don't judge me.
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Top, jeans, scarf, and socks.
8. How often do you listen to music?
Not too often. I'm not really a music person.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Jeans
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2017?
I don't think so. But I always allow for God to work in my life.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
Antisocial
12. If the person you like say they like someone else, what would you say?
Nothing really. Okay? I guess.
13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Lol yes
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
No :-(
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
I do to a certain point; at least depending on who the person is. After a while, I stop caring.
16. Are you going out of town soon?
If town is where you live, then I'm currently out of town.
17. When was the last time you cried?
I really can't remember.
18. Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
YES hahaha.
19. If you could change your eyecolor? would you?
Eww eww eww. Never. Even If I have to wear contact lenses, it would not be colored.
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Lol I'm on vacation so: watch West Wing?
This was not as interesting as my other tags like this and this but hey, it was fun nonetheless.
I found this on Berry Dakara's YouTube page today and thought, why not? Okay let's do this.
1. Did you wake up cranky?
Nope. I woke up very thankful actually.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at your current age?
Lol. NO. God forbid.
3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Hmm I would say girls. Honestly, I don't think any sex is inherently better at being friends. I just said girls because a) I have more girl friends. b)I just happen to understand girls more, I think. I mean, I am a girl, after all.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Yea, why not?
5. Can you commit to one person?
Definitely. Beats committing to several people, in my opinion.
6. How do you look right now?
Lol. Not too good. I literally have a scarf on. It's a Sunday afternoon; don't judge me.
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Top, jeans, scarf, and socks.
8. How often do you listen to music?
Not too often. I'm not really a music person.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Jeans
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2017?
I don't think so. But I always allow for God to work in my life.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
Antisocial
12. If the person you like say they like someone else, what would you say?
Nothing really. Okay? I guess.
13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Lol yes
14. Can you drive a stick shift?
No :-(
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
I do to a certain point; at least depending on who the person is. After a while, I stop caring.
16. Are you going out of town soon?
If town is where you live, then I'm currently out of town.
17. When was the last time you cried?
I really can't remember.
18. Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
YES hahaha.
19. If you could change your eyecolor? would you?
Eww eww eww. Never. Even If I have to wear contact lenses, it would not be colored.
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Lol I'm on vacation so: watch West Wing?
This was not as interesting as my other tags like this and this but hey, it was fun nonetheless.
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