Book of the Month: Broke Millenial

Happy new month! It's the beginning of the second half of the year. I don't even want to say I don't know where the year went to: I do. What a year.  Although this year I have slacked with blogging (since I literally could not be bothered), one major reason I like blogging is the ability to see how far you have come. Of course, you can also do that with your personal journalling, but I like some sort of record showing you how far you have come. So for me the year hasn't flown by, it has been 6 months of grueling hard-work, some anxiety, some failures, and lots of successes. So bring it on second half, let's do this!

It also is an opportunity to look at your vision board, list of resolutions, goals for 2018 and re evaluate how you can achieve some of the things on the list. I'm not so naive that I wouldn't know that many people don't have this privilege; for some, they just want to survive. Which brings me to all the insanity in Nigeria, and the many lives that have been wasted within the past couple of weeks.  Lives are being wasted due to happenings that can be avoided. We really are all tired and angry and frustrated. I know everyone keeps talking about getting your PVC and those of you who can vote, please do get your PVC. The truth though is I think more focus should be placed on the National Assembly and local leaders/governance. I feel it is necessary to mention that I think am sure our current president is a disaster, but we all know that already. Anyway, here's hoping for better governance. On a lighter note, I have a book of the month today yayyy *throws confetti* Without much ado*, let's get to it.

I have been digging non-fiction a lot lately. I have also been a little obsessed with personal and responsible finance generally. I think we are merchants in the marketplace and must be both diligent and faithful with whatever God has blessed us with. With that, this year I took a slightly aggressive approach to my finance: not being miserly/frugal as much as knowing where every dollar goes to and making responsible decisions. I wish more people would do this too. You know, think twice about that weekly trip to designer stores for things you know you don't need. Think about investing; think about retirement and your future financial plans; and think about [getting out of] your debts; think about giving; think about your credit score.  But there can be an extreme measure to this, as with most things in life, too much of everything is bad. [As Christians] Our hope is (or should be) ultimately in God's ability to provide for us and his grace, not so much in that we know how to spend.


The book of this month is therefore on  personal finance, called Broke Millennial: stop scraping by and get your financial life together. Honestly, the title already tells you everything you need to know. I first heard of the author on The Financial Diet, another personal finance blog/vlog. And then I put her book on my wishlist, and my awesome friends got me tons of books for my birthday, and this was one of them.

I like the matter of fact nature of the book; but not as much as I love her personal anecdotes and relatable way of communicating. The book does a good job of  touching on everything: negotiating your income; navigating the anxiety-inducing, often overwhelming, and borderline destructive concept that is your student loans; finding the right financial products; credit scores and credit reports; how to navigate declining to split bills evenly; getting financially naked with your partner; investing; buying a house (YES, millennials too are buying houses); and retirement (like how does roth IRA differ from traditional IRA?). The best part is the approach to these are not overwhelming at all. She also tries to come at it with finesse, not the way most people address it by scaring you with sensational headlines like "Millennials will never afford houses" or "Millennials are doomed forever with their loans" or "How stupid can you be to take student loans?". She doesn't do any of that nonsense.  It’s basically a finance bible. Something you can reference if confused about any concept. It also does it without complicated jargon. I love that.

Like I said, I implore you to read this book or any other finance book/blogs out there or just take charge or just pay attention to your finances. Think about it, you are not just taking care of you this way but sort of, kind of, in your future generations as well. Privilege is never having to take student loans because grandpa left a hefty inheritance for you lol. Again,  I also worry about being so obsessed with your finances that you forget to live! It’s exactly like living a healthy lifestyle/eating clean: you can begin to obsess over every detail and then judge those who aren't. Don't do that. The same way you don't want to be the friend who makes the choice of where to eat dinner tedious, since they don't eat gluten or eat carbs or eat meat and fish or eat eggs but also prefer their veggies grown in a farm where dogs are treated like kings. Get the hell out of here with your impossible standards. Set a realistic goal: be out of debt by 30 or buy a house at 35 etc. but also know life is wayyyy more than a bunch of checklists, and what is success to others isn’t necessarily success to you. Define success for you, and live within your means. At the end of the day, every single financial book, blog, video, advice out there can be summarized to that: live within your means.

Love,

I.

*much ado being the last time I did one was almost a year ago!

P.S. for real, for real now, I am back to blogging this second half of the year...probably :)

Friday Reflections

1.) Money CAN in fact buy happiness.

2.) I have never actually thought I could physically harm someone until I saw this.

3.) How to stop caring about what other people think

4.) The power of vulnerability

5.) We all need to do better,

6.)  How's summer going?

7.) Okay fine, I just gotta mention it: what the hell is going on in Nigeria, and quite frankly in America too?

8.) There is a recent disregard for human lives all around and I can't wrap my head around it.



On Baseball and Our Differences

I went to a baseball game weeks ago. And it was literally the most boring event I have ever gone to [in my entire life]. I can't even begin to describe how uninterested I was. But I went, and I even took pictures. So here are pictures for your entertainment. I can't believe anyone enjoys baseball. What?! Yet, people were cheering and clapping and making noise. At some point, I looked at the players and thought, how can this be your life? Like, you get to do something so boring for a living; day in day out. And immediately, I realized they could say the exact same thing about me and what I do. I mean, what I do is NOT boring [to me]: on the contrary, it's challenging, invigorating, and usually very interesting. But to others with absolutely no interest or understanding of my work, it would probably be the most boring thing in the world. And that's just life and human beings: so different, yet so alike in many ways.

Okay picture time.











Love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) How God messed up this atheist's happy life.


2.) April Kepner's formidable strength is admirable. Honestly, Sarah Drew has been FIRE this season; it is incredibly sad to see her go.

3.) What I love about Kepner is how unlike TV's "baddest" women she is: not assertive or aggressive, but still filled with immense strength. That's something we can all relate to.

4.) I feel like often times tv shows and movies portray strong women and feminists as this formidable, assertive women who go for what they want, when they want it...whereas in real life many of us display our strength piece by piece and quietly (but not always successfully) fight for what we believe. Many of us actually doubt ourselves a lot, yet we are still quietly resilient.

5.) This profile on Chimamanda Adichie will make you love her even more.

6.) Read this to get a better understanding of the opioid and other drug addiction in Nigeria. Also big ups to BuzzFeed and that reporter for that stellar reporting; fantastic job!

7.) More women are speaking at Graduation ceremonies than ever before.

An Update and Some Life Lessons

I found this very old post I wrote on my phone while visiting Chicago in April(!) for a conference. And I thought to finally share it. I also put some notes in parentheses to reflect my comments from reading about my state of mind just merely two months ago. Enjoy!

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I visited Chicago for the first time!! But I weirdly didn't take pictures which makes no real sense lol. That place is cold and I understand winter has refused to leave everywhere, but the cold was especially troubling or shall I say the wind? I was also just recovering from being ill so it just was not the best trip. (Note: I was so sick in April; everyday I can eat and walk now is a testimony for me)

But I enjoyed it nonetheless! I went to present my work and that was mega successful and quite encouraging too.

Found this random and only picture I took with my friend, Barbara


P.S: I am writing this mile high and the lady beside me has her gaze fixated in the sky. I don't get people's obsession with window seats or the clouds. It's very interesting to me. Anyway, she's otherwise been a good passenger so no biggie. 

Today's life lesson (this sounded so pretentious but humor me please) is that we mostly only need one. Yes, one admission, one job acceptance, one spouse (except you are an ojukokoro), one car... of course, there are things in life that we require more than one for. But usually, one is enough. I say this because many times we apply for something and get many NOs or everyone but you is getting married, it is very easy to be discouraged or heartbroken about very many rejections. But before you give up hope, remember that eventually you can only attend a school at a time/marry one person at a time/insert whatever else here; your yes will come. Sometimes, it won't (you know, I'm always pragmatic). And it will be hard at first and you might never find out why you didn't get it, but you will be okay. 

The life I'm living now, there was a time I dreamed of if. And gosh it's so easy to forget that we have some of the things we wanted desperately. I know it is irritating to read someone else recount their blessings sometimes, (side eye at hashtag blessed folks) because I know life can be hard but if you think deeply, you would agree that God answers prayers. 

Anyway, this was supposed to be just a little encouragement for anyone reading to hang in there. Recently, medical doctors on Instagram did a "behind the square" challenge, during which many of them posted their real life struggles that might have otherwise not been obvious because we put out best selves out there and Instagram is the mother devil. So most people talked about how they were rejected from their dream schools/residency programs (whew I can write books on rejection) and other cool stuff like that. But one of my favorites, Lauren said,  look this life she has as a Harvard trained dermatologist, married to another Harvard trained doctor with 3 of the cutest kids on Instagram is her wildest dreams come true. And that while others' problems were being rejected from schools, hers was survival. Coming from the background she did (siblings in jail, uncles being gunned down), she never even thought she would make it out alive, much less get into Harvard medical school. So everything else, every new day she gets with her babies is a bonus.

Selah.

I hate to trivialize anyone's problems but damn if that doesn't get you thinking; about the hundreds of people definitely better than you but who never made it. I started to think, I know I'm not the best. Chiillllle, I'm GOOD but I'm not here because I'm the best. I'm here because grace found me. Somehow, I was lucky to be born into the family I have. You know, merely lucky and blessed to have parents who cared enough to invest in me; lucky enough to attend the schools I did; lucky enough to live in a free (albeit somewhat problematic) country with tremendous opportunities; lucky enough to have a tribe of great people supporting me and rejoicing when I win and encouraging me when I lose; lucky enough to have found God. 

So if I have God and I have them and I have good health, everything will be fine. I know, I know: what if you don't have good enough parents or tribe? Find them. It doesn't have to be blood relatives. Be that person for others and then before you know it you already have your own tribe. Whatever you do, relax. It will be okay. Remember to keep doing and moving; even when you get rejected, in the end, you will probably get one. And don't we mostly just need one? Trust God. Laugh. And be happy. After all, you are alive.

Love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) Behold, another article/interview of Ellen Pompeo on how to own your shit.

2.) The Emir of Kano (and former Central Bank Governor) on being a modernist (and traditionalist), a polygamist, and Nigeria's governance


3.) If someone told me that I would learn one of the greatest lessons in faith on Grey's Anatomy, I would have said, not possible! But it happened, season 14 episode 17 did it; it taught me so much about faith. So darn much.

4.) I think the thing that has been consistent in Grey's is its theme that "no matter how dark it gets, the sun will rise again."

5.) And gosh April Kepner, as played by Sarah Drew is a brilliant character. I should write one of these for that character especially since Drew is leaving.

6.) This Meek Mill's situation is quite sad.

7.) Lol. I have had this list for so long  (without posting), that Meek Mill has now been released from prison. ha.

8.) What fullness is...on getting weight reduction surgery. The struggle, Lord Jesus. Can I just say this is why it's sometimes insensitive to comment on people's weight or other things like skin issues, you never know what the person is going through.

9.) This old post with interview of eye witnesses reminiscing (one year later) about the 2017 Oscar night fiasco, where La La Land was announced as the winner instead of Moonlight. Two things: first, people in Hollywood are very, very self-absorbed. Granted, it was an awkward night, but reading that article you'd think a war broke out that day or someone died. Gosh.

10.) Second, that's what happens when people like the Pwc accountant are more about all the hype than the job. And there are people like that in EVERY field: they care more about making lots of empty noises on social media about their jobs that actually doing their jobs or working. It irritates me.

11.) Speaking of the job over the hype, check out this badass woman building technology for women's health issues. I just love when people who are actually changing the world are doing it so quietly without all the hype or plenty noise or without an over-bloated ego.

12.) This article on 6 things the author thought she would do before 30, but definitely won't is quite satisfying and honestly, freeing. I especially love the points on diet and buying a house.

ON THE POWER OF WORSHIP PLUS A PLAYLIST PT.3

I forgot I had a blog. No, really, I forgot. Too much is happening: good and bad, and that's life and now I don't even worry as much about these things. But two things reminded me of my blog today. One was just my need and want for bringing out the creative side in me. I miss when I could call myself a writer or someone who wrote. Anyway, so as summer draws near (summer is actually here, cos we basically skipped spring and dove right into summer with what the weather is saying out), I want to be more creative: which basically, for me means writing! So I want to write more, which means blog more. Yay.

Second, I shared a song on IG stories today. My brother usually sends us (my sister and I) gentle reminders in form of various things to remind us of God's love, when we complain about all of our first world problems and how life (and people *ahem*) has been cruel to us. One of such things was a song and it became especially important  and apt yesterday as I recovered from all the overwhelming emotions of a significant part of my professional life (an exam I took). Relief. Fear. Anxiety. Joy. Angst. Regret. Hope. Everything in full force. But then I remembered this song! I was like I gotta share this: this can help others out there so I shared on IG stories, but that's rather temporary so I remembered my blog and here we are.

Before I continue, here is part one, part two, and somewhat of a part two point five of this playlist. Okay so the song is "While I'm Waiting" by Travis Greene. What a beautiful song, huh?!

While I'm waiting
I'm getting stronger
My faith is rising
And I will run on
While I'm waiting
I'm lifting up on wings as Eagles
I believe, I will trust in you.

What my eyes can't see
oh..I still believe
Everything that was spoken to me
There is no word that will come back void
I will trust the report of the Lord
God is not a man that he should lie
Every need he will supply
I will wait, I will not be moved

Waiting is hard for anyone. But you can wait and panic, or you can wait and NOT be moved. The latter option also comes with a lot of peace of mind. Meanwhile, it's truly best to think back and reflect on how God has come through for you in the past. Tried and tested method to keep faith. Because truly, for me it's often in my weakness that he shows his strength. Also my bible study/small group met yesterday and I think it was my best meetings yet. It was truly a good reminder of why God doesn't want us doing life/Christianity alone. There is something beautiful about being together and sharing life's struggles with people who love God and love you. It was quite an awesome meeting of strong, smart women who love God and life. I'm so glad I dragged myself out of bed and to yesterday's meeting. I was really fulfilled and encouraged. So yeah, beyond church, find a small group to meet with!!!

That's it. Happy to be back (or not). I do have some things typed out that I could publish if I feel like haha. Otherwise, here's to a blessed May!


Love,

I