I'm Starting With The Woman In The Mirror.

This is completely coincidental. I did not even know Michael Jackson would have been fifty-five today until my Dad said it. May his soul rest in peace. The guy made great music though, very great music. More so, he was my brother's icon so he  probably grew on me too. No human being loved that guy the way my brother did, his ultimate dream was to meet Michael, unfortunately that was one dream that couldn't be fulfilled. Anyway, sorry for both of them, I put up the chorus of his song, 'Man In The Mirror' as my Facebook status and I thought about personalizing it. There's too much truth in the song. You want a change kwa? Stare at that mirror and begin the change with the person you see in the mirror.

An Ode...To Food.

Life can be really awesome, especially when there's food. May God always make life awesome for me and for you. :) Food really makes life better and bearable, good food, that is. I particularly like Naija food sha. If I have to choose between Naija food and any other, I will proudly choose Nigerian meals. That does not make me more patriotic than the next person, I just love it, mostly because that's what I grew up eating. I also try to eat very healthy foods, the secret to that is moderation.

 I'm thankful for so manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (the Y is endless. lol) things and people. Food is somewhere on top of that list. Why am I going on and on writing an ode to food? I had the juiciest watermelons this evening, it was so delicious, I almost went overdose on it. The only reason I controlled myself was because I wanted some left for tomorrow morning. Plus, I wanted my family to taste the awesomeness too. I'm nice like that. About twenty minutes later, I had dinner. I felt like I was in heaven. It wasn't any meal out of the ordinary; just a plate of rice with vegetable stew. But, I totally LOVED it. My Mum made it and she has made meals equally delicious, if not more delicious in the past, but for some reasons unknown to even me, I was very ecstatic to be eating. It was so bad/good, that I literally went on my knees and thanked God as soon as I was done. Now, I'm getting scared oh! Lol. I have never done that before. However, I try as much as possible to make it a habit to always thank God. Nothing is by our rights or privileges or whatever, we get everything we have by grace. That special and amazing grace of God. So, of the many things God has done, tonight I've chosen food to thank him for. I pray I never lack or have to beg for it. What are you thankful for?


Overcoming The Fear Of Vested Interest.

The Governor of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi recently spoke at TEDxYouth at Maitama about overcoming the fear of vested interest in the country. I suppose everybody knows about TED or at least have heard something like 'TED talks' from time to time. For the benefit of those who haven't, TED  (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a global set of conferences owned by the private non-profit Sapling Foundation, under the slogan "ideas worth spreading". More about TED and what it really is can be read here or here. It's a very enlightening platform and I just like to, once in a while listen to brilliant minds. TEDx is a part of the main TED. 

I don't know much about Sanusi, except that he once  fired several Bank CEOs and many people thought he was crazy. I never for once thought he was as straightforward and exceptionally thorough as he was in the video above. Our political system in Nigeria is full of many bad eggs that should be thrown into the thrash. I bring you good news; there are some good eggs albeit a few. Now, when I started to listen to his talk, it sounded like the usual cliche; Nigeria-has-many-corrupt-people-so-lets-just-sit-still-and-watch-them-'chop'-it-all, I had no intention whatsoever of listening to the entire thing. But then, he caught my attention somehow later on. Thinking about it now, I had of course, heard about the things he spoke about before but I'm not sure there was as much clarity as in his TEDx talk. He started by explaining how Nigeria has great potential yada yada, he proceeded to explain how we export things we don't have and import things that we have. I wanted to close the page at that point, when he started to talk about the period he became Chief of Central Bank and how Bank CEOs had personalized the banks. 
"...they had taken away depositors money to buy property all over the world and just like people do in ministries, government agencies or whenever they have opportunities in oil companies, the banks were themselves a..."  

On Hair and Other Random Things...

Yesterday, after six months,  relaxer touched my hair again. WHEW! I felt so liberated. lol. Seriously, it was hell. Don't ask why I waited so long. I've very good hair, thank God. If not... Anyway, so I was basking in the beauty of my hair again when it suddenly occurred to me that relaxed hair is never appreciated these days. Every body celebrates only natural hair and some go out of hand to make a big deal out of it. Sometime ago, Chimamanda Adichie made a statement about how people with relaxed hair were trying so hard to be like white girls with straight hair. I was just confused. Natural hair is good, quite expensive to manage and may take a lot of time, but it is good. But what anybody does with their hair is their business. Personally, I believe the most important thing is healthy hair. Whether relaxed or natural, your hair should be healthy. Simple. I have very good, healthy and beautiful hair. (I'm a tad obsessed with my hair) I like to see ladies with their teeny weeny afros, it is always very cute but the true tests of natural hair comes when it is long. I know this because I had natural hair until I was about 15. IT WAS HELL. Kai, words can't describe. I felt something close to those previous pains again yesterday. I was relieving the memories. I always threaded the hair or put it in very tiny weaves that would make my delicate scalp swell. Why did I not cut my hair then anyway? So, I admire you natural sisters; your hard-work, patience and dedication to your hair is admirable. If I ever cut my hair, the moment it starts to grow well, I will relax it. By the way, being natural is NOT an excuse to look scruffy. On the other hand, there are many ladies with  extremely cute natural hair, it could make you swoon. My own be say when will relaxer become ridiculously cheap, since many people don't use it anymore? I dey wait am abeg. With all these noise, I only relax my hair twice or at most three times a year. Yesterday was my second time this year and I was happy it was done by a professional.

Nigerian Graduate teacher can't read own certificate in Edo state.

The sad part about this situation is that, this woman is probably be one of those that criticize and condemn the government. One of those people who insult government officials. What she doesn't know is that she is basically like them. God forbid that I insult civil servants, because I was mostly taught by civil servants. But, to be honest, civil servants have a history of being lackadaisical with their responsibilities. Many of them are lazy and rude. If you doubt me, take a stroll into a government university's administration office, or take a stroll into a nearby NYSC secretariat or worse still, take a stroll into the nearest government secretariat to you. Just walk in. Ironically, I always believed teachers were different. That they had a better approach towards their duties. 

How can the future of innocent children be placed in the hands of someone who can barely read her own certificate? The fact that she has been a teacher for twenty years makes my stomach rumble. Gosh. It's no wonder you see some Nigerian graduates stuttering at every attempt to speak English. I remember NYSC camp, sad story. I always wondered how they were supposedly graduates. Now, I see. As far as I know, primary school is the foundation. Nobody teaches you how to speak English in Secondary school, you mostly build on what you already have. So, somebody, anybody at all should please tell me how on earth this woman teaches. It can be argued that she merely has a poor eyesight but I disagree. It can also be argued that she was nervous, you know being right beside the governor of your state. But, I disagree. If anything, she was rather over-confident. You should see the way she was talking to him.

Politicians may be wrong. Not may, many of them ARE wrong. But what are you doing in your own little corner of the nation? How effectively do you handle your responsibilities especially when it involves the lives of others? Before we throw stones and remove the specks of wood in other people's eyes, lets examine the planks in ours. I wonder why some people think Gov. Oshiomole was simply trying to humiliate her. That was certainly not the case. In fact, he was calling our attention to problems we normally would never have known. Let's assume she was unfortunate enough to be unable to read when she took the job 20 years ago, what stopped her from developing herself over the course of TWENTY years. Okay so, politicians are looting money that isn't theirs. We know that, but she also has been earning salaries she probably did not work for. Sigh. Nigeria, we hail thee! 


The Gospel, According To Emmy Collins.

My people, how una dey? I hope sey una dey kampe. Please ignore my lame attempt at pidgin. Nigerian Pidgin fascinates me actually, its interesting and very witty. Okay, enough of the Linguistics 101 class. So, my sweetheart, Evuas sent me some links. Let me start by saying I can be incredibly stale when it comes to entertainment or anything for that matter, I tend to always carry last in matters like entertainment or songs. Thank God for my friends who take it upon themselves to once in a while carry me along. These links were from Emmy Collins' website diarybyemmy.com. To start with, I didn't even know who Emmy Collins was *covers face in shame* I am certain I'm not alone. Anyway, my first visit to this man's website was an article were he praised Bez's new video and indirectly insulted Clearance Peters by suggesting that he should take a break from making videos and go on a holiday because folks like Kemi Adetiba are here to stay. My first thought was who is this one? I took temporary job as vol tron for Mr. Peters who of course doesn't even know I exist. Smh. I was tackling my friend that why would Emmy say stuff like that and besides what was the big deal about Bez's video anyway. Hiss. It was shot in New York. Ehen, and so? My friend and I went back and forth on the issue and dropped it.

Yesterday, she was laughing out loud about a post from the same site and sent me more links. So I thought, why not just go through the whole thing. I went to his site and I had the time of my life. My ribs still hurt from laughter of yesterday. The website is not centered around comedy, it is his bluntness mixed with humor that is just so interesting. My guy's (Yes, I've claimed him) bluntness is on another level. As far as I know, no fashion or entertainment blogger says the truth the way he says it. He is arguably the most honest Nigerian fashion/style/entertainment blogger. I take that back.

The Mysterious Anatomies of Grey.

This post is specifically for ranting. I must warn you before you go ahead. I don't know if I'm a TV person. I like TV, that's for sure but it's certainly something I can do without. Thank God for internet. Anyway, so being a very loyal person-I'm loyal to a fault-I always stuck with the two shows I was familiar with and because they were very great shows anyway, it was hard to not love them. Prison Break and 24. I'm a sucker for action thrillers (Prison Break isn't an action thriller though, is it?). I could kill for those shows. Okay, of course not. Point is, I loved those shows and totally ignored the many other shows that sprung up in the aftermath of those. Then I met this young man/woman called Netflix at a time when I happened to be quite jobless. hehe. On meeting Netflix, instead of watching the many new shows that are available, I re-started my favourite old shows (Prison Break and 24), my rigidity and loyalty may be more of weaknesses than strengths. I'm the type of person that will not start new things simply because I'm too in love with an old thing. Ugh. Talk for another day. When I was done revisiting my old shows (every single episodes of at least over 150 episodes), I was left with no choice but to consider new shows. A part of me wanted to go over the old shows over again, which would have been completely sick and disturbing. Grey's Anatomy has been very popular for a while and I was torn between picking Grey's Anatomy or Nikita. And when you're considering between two things, you have to check out the stakes, the pros, the cons and both parties have to present their cases so that when you finally choose, you would be sure the better man wins. Oh yes, it is that serious. I'm not going spend hours of my life watching crap. I know what you're thinking. "Who is forcing this one to watch show?" Ask Shonda Rhimes (sp?) and those other script writers if they don't send me tons of personal emails begging me to review their shows.
I finally chose Grey's Anatomy. Now, Grey's Anatomy has a great plot. An absolutely great plot of sexy surgeons doing their thing on the human body. More than anything, it makes me appreciate God's creativity and intelligence very much. BUT, the sub plots are so damn stupid and crappy. It can be really twisted and depressing. I understand that life is not a bed of roses and that life doesn't always have sweet, beautiful endings. Maybe, my vantage point of life is extremely limited and I am somehow privileged, but I believe life is not that sad. Every single person in Grey's Anatomy dies. In a particular episode, the Residents call the hospital 'Seattle Grace Mercy Death Hospital'. Not just patients who stroll in with mere hiccups and then end up in the morgue, even the employees of the hospital seem to have death hovering over them. Ugh. One Resident had a car crash and died, another one had cancer, another was shot. Ewww. I know Life can be that messed up, but spending hours of my life watching a show with tissue and drying my eyes, nah I'm not about that life. Patrick Dempsey probably cries in all episodes and sadly, I cry with him too. Sigh. Then Shonda or whoever, had the guts to just fire my favourite character, Preston Burke because of a very flimsy reason (as far as I'm concerned). I really loved the character and his relationship with Christina Yang, another great character. Then all of a sudden, he disappeared. Mehn, Shonda and I have to talk. What nonsense?

I was ready to overlook all these, when all of a sudden in season 7, another Resident had a fatal accident. The accident wasn't the problem, I was getting used to disasters on the show. This babe was rushed to the hospital and while she was being wheeled to an OR, she removes the oxygen mask from her mouth and whispers to her colleagues that her name-Calliope-means music. Okay...cool. Next thing I know, the surgeons were singing in the operating room. Pause. The episode was like a MUSICAL! grrrrrrrrr. Seriously? MUSICAL! I do not like musicals.It's one reason I didn't ever bother with Glee. I'm not even sure the whole of Glee is a musical, but I know they sing, so no I didn't watch. I heard a lot about the movie, Les Miserable and wanted to watch it. Then I saw my brother watching it one day, they were singing in it. End of story. So, when I saw supposed surgeons screaming at the top of their voices in the name of singing, I wanted to dial Shonda's phone straight away but then, I was too busy.

On the plus though, I believe that some of the actors and actresses might actually be able to perform a real surgery now. It's so amazing how much they must have learnt on the show. Being paid to learn such things must be incredibly cool. Ignore my rants, I absolutely enjoy the show and I am currently on season 7 and I am still enjoying it.

By the way, this was not a review. A review wouldn't be this long anyway.

The Flying Bird, The Frog and The Idle Old Man.

I don't understand why many people have rendered the Nigerian movie industry-Nollywood, completely useless. They must have been misled by some out rightly horrid movies. I quite enjoy the Yoruba part of Nollywood-when the movie isn't about a group of aristo babes or when it is not about the woman whose mother in-law is the deputy president of the association of  witches and has decided to donate her son and two of her grandchildren. I digress. The point is, there are still some great movies in Nollywood with lifelong lessons to be learned.  Sometime ago, I stumbled on a movie on Africa Magic Yoruba.
It was about two jolly friends, who had grown up together. These friends, both men, had been through it all together. One of the duo, Sanya had been the compromising one, always making sacrifices for his friend, Gbite and had in fact on more than one occasion, saved Gbite's life. The camaraderie that existed between them was enough for other people to be envious. However, along the line, Gbite all of a sudden, became very rich. He owned different businesses and was as a matter of fact about the richest man in the neighbourhood, highly respected and very well-known. Sanya, on the other hand was poorer than a church rat. He was so poor, he could hardly afford to eat. He had no job or means of survival. He was wretched. He could hardly even feed his only child, plus he lived in a very terrible condition. As expected, he turned to his friend for help. Unexpectedly, each time he did, Gbite turned him down bluntly. Gbite completely refused to render assistance of any kind to his friend. Sanya pleaded and pleaded and even got people to plead on his behalf. No, Gbite insisted on not helping his friend for no reason whatsoever.

Sanya's condition became worse than it already was. What is worse than being wretched? Anyway, he became really desperate. At that point, he was ready to do anything to make money. And by anything, I mean something as terrible (and stupid) as ritual killing. Or yahoo plus or whatever it is called these days.So he sought help from an Islamic cleric, popularly known as 'Alfa.' It was there he learnt some of the greatest lessons in life.Of course, being a Yoruba movie, the conversations were in Yoruba. However, yours truly would do you non-Yoruba folks the honour of translating in English. You can thank me later.

"Please sir, all I need is for you to tell me how I can make money via rituals. I don't mind the consequences"

Sanya uttered in desperation.

Totally flabbergasted and shocked with what was coming out of his mouth, the cleric replied;

"Rituals?? are you sure about this? Why? Can it be that bad.?"

The cleric did all he could to persuade this man but alas, his mind was made up.

"OK then, go to *Ibupy mountain early in the morning, and sit down there for some hours. Whatever you see there, come back and tell me."

The cleric said.

"Is that all? I even thought you would require my only child or part of my body or something like that."

Sanya replied, with disgust.

"Just do as I have said and make sure you get back to me."

Few days later, Sanya had gone to the said mountain and was back to the cleric. Before then, he had issues with his new landlord (who turned out to be his friend, Gbile) so he was sent packing. Yes, his best friend sent him packing. On getting back to the cleric, the following conversation ensued;

"So, Sanya did you see or notice anything when you were on that mountain"

"No oh, I didn't. I was there for hours and nothing. I saw nothing!"

"How is that possible? You saw nothing? Are you sure?"

The cleric was confused.

"Yes I'm sure. Just a  bird that was flying by. But I was in the bush so a flying bird didn't surprise me. Just after the bird flew by though, a frog was hopping just behind it. And after the frog, was an idle old man with a staff. Look Alfa, none of them is my business. Tell me what else I can do."

"Hmmn...Sanya...hmmn. You see, those three things you saw, those were the reasons you were there. If only God could open your inner eyes to understand fully"

The cleric explained.
He then went further to explain the consequences of what Sanya saw. The flying bird, he likened to everything people want in life; money, clothes, cars, houses, wives, husbands, children, promiscuity, alcohol, parties and the likes. Everything, both the good and bad that people desire. He said these things fly, just like that bird, they fly by hurriedly. They will all pass. Most things people want in life fly by.

The frog hopping behind on the ground; he compared to human beings. A lot of times, no matter how much or how fast people think they can run towards the 'good things' of life, the pace isn't usually more than that of the frog. The distance between the flying bird and the frog is like the distance between human beings and the 'things of life'.Those things are flying away and here we are, hopping behind to get them. Vanity.

The idle old man coming behind, was a metaphor for death. Death is very idle and it does what it likes. How far do you think the frog would go before the idle man catches it? How close to the flying bird will the frog be, before the idle man catches up with the frog.

All these 'things' will pass. Man does not need to bother his head about the pleasures of life. Instead, seek God, pray, do good, be diligent and work hard. If it pleases the almighty, let him bless you. Hold on to the good deeds and try to trust God.

*I can't remember the name of the exact mountain. Ibupy is a word that probably doesn't exist. lol
P.s; Sorry, for the rather long post.


Are there times when you feel drowned? There is no water or ocean, but you feel like you're sinking and gasping for breath, unfortunately there is no one around to help. Or worse, do you feel like you are screaming out for help, people are listening but they just chose not to do anything about it. I don't know about anybody else, but there are certainly times I feel like God is ignoring me. You know, he can hear me but he just chooses to ignore me. There are some other people that feel like why do the 'bad folks' or 'non-religious' folks have it all. They are the ones with the flashy things, meanwhile you, the tongue-lashing-demon-casting christian is struggling with everything. There is an explanation for everything. I was recently not in a very good mood and I was doing everything I could to get my groove back. My brother sent me some very inspiring messages/sermons by Pastor Sam Adeyemi of Daystar. So I listen to them once in a while. He mentioned a statement in one of the sermons, while talking about his humble beginnings, he said; "No matter how much you worry, God would not do today what he intends to do tomorrow"  Eureka! These words have changed my thought process forever. God bless my brother's soul.
The most beautiful thing about life is that God loves us; you and I. Many people may have to tell themselves this every minute or write it down in a post-it and place by your bed, whichever way, just have a constant reminder about God's love for you. The story of Lazarus in John 11 teaches so many lessons. For the purpose of this post, I'll rephrase the story. In the previous chapter, Jesus had just escaped from the Jews to another city(town). It was there he got a message that his friend was sick. My own bible says "Lord, the one you love is sick." Very apt phrase. "This sickness will not end in death. It's for God's glory..." Now, Jesus loved Lazarus, yet when he heard he was sick, he stayed TWO more days where he was. The same way, when we are sick or we need  something and we call on God, he knows our problems, he has heard our problems but maybe he is not just ready to answer. Because, he has plans and more so being a very orderly and well-planned being, he makes all things beautiful in HIS own time. So, because you haven't got an instant fix to all your problems doesn't mean there is no God or that he hasn't heard you. He has. Remain persistent. I know of about two stories in the bible where Jesus talks about prayer and persistence and the importance of both.

However, before you scream and get angry with God (I hope I'm not the only person that has got angry with God before. Jokes. lol), check yourself. There is one really BIG reason why prayers don't get answered, sin. Sometimes, our sins make it difficult for God to hear us. Also, there was a time, I wondered the importance of prayer and faith when God would still do whatever he wants anyway. I found my answers of course. You see, a lot of times on Twitter, I see people complain about how others only call them when they need help. Frankly, I have no problem with someone calling me only when he/she needs help. If I can, I certainly will. But I am not God. God wants a relationship with us. Even before we ask, he already knows our desires. But praying cultivates a relationship with God, it builds a relationship with him.

Knowing God and building a relationship with him isn't a day's job. It requires a daily habit and lifestyle and in most cases, many of us fall short but at least we try. God is always ready to meet us halfway, that of course is if we are ready. He would never force you. Personally, I find solace in that many of the things I'm experiencing, Jesus experienced them too. After he went back to Judea and found that Lazarus was dead ( he already knew anyway), he saw Mary and the Jews with her crying. He had compassion and also wept. It means that when you are crying or sad or when you just lost someone, either to death or something else, he sees you and he understands. He's a compassionate Lord.

Therefore, before you give in to life's many curves or before you worry about the future so much that you forget to enjoy today, remember to take a step back, relax and be assured that God has got you. And that no matter how powerful a storm is, it will definitely stop. This too will pass.

Daddy Dearest's Reply To My Post.

Ifeoluwa, my beautiful daughter: What I wrote on your blog in response to this wonderful piece was in ONLY 3 words: This is awesome!!!

But now that I'm sharing the article on Facebook, I"ll go further to reveal here that I took my time in reading the piece especially as it was dedicated to our 26th wedding anniversary.

Unknown to you, the act of reading through the blog entry was, to me, as if you placed a huge mirror before me with which to behold and evaluate myself as a parent. It was gratifying though to discover at the end of the story that your mom and I were awarded an excellent score.

In retrospect, parenting is an enormous task. I have been privileged to counsel some young couples both in Nigeria and the United States on the huge responsibility that comes with parenting. It is no joke! Contrary to what many parents think or assume, no individual can parent another individual without first parenting himself or herself effectively and positively. Parenting is actually an extended parenting of every individual who take up the responsibility of parenting a child. In simpler, specific words, this means that while your mom and I are parenting you and your siblings, we are actually continuing the task of parenting ourselves where our own parents left off.

For example, as a parent, I could not have effectively insisted on you being serious and getting good grades from your studies while you were in high school and college if I did NOT do the same in my time as a high school or college student. And neither would I have been able to preach or counsel that you imbibed good personal principles or values if, as a parent, I had no principles or values to showcase or exhibit.

Above all, the greatest result from parenting arises when the task is blessed by God. And this can only happen where there is faith in God in the first place. I really thank God for the great results your mom and I have in you guys so far. And may the good Lord continue to abide in you, bless and prosper you and your siblings eternally.

Keeping A Journal.

I'm thankful to everyone that read and appreciated my previous post. Several people holla'd at me to let me know they liked it. My parents actually read it and loved it, my Daddy wrote  a very long reply to it on Facebook. I'll probably put it up here in another post. Thanks, everybody. Eshe pupo. So, on to today's post, keeping a journal.
I read something somewhere. I can't remember the exact place and this is why I don't like to talk about things I read elsewhere. Because, I've read and I still read so many things on this platform called internet, that I mix all of them up and forget which is which. I digress. Anyway, I read somewhere quite recently that imagine the disciples of Jesus Christ never wrote down things they encountered while with him. Imagine, we had no records or stories about Jesus' miracles, low moments, high moments and triumphs. Imagine no one took the time to write them down, who would have told us about Christ or his many great deeds and works? It was the first time I ever looked at it in this perspective. I am quite sure, it was certainly not until they were ready to share the gospel that they started pouring all of it down. I strongly believe, they had been recording each day or each week or each month's events as they were happening. It is probably why, they had different account of things because each had different perspective and each wrote them down separately.

What is the essence of this story? Keeping a journal. I officially started keeping a journal at the age of 16 and I have had a journal since then. I never had a diary or secret book when I was a child. But I remember that if something happened, I would get a piece of paper and write every single thing down. I would fold it, then write "Please Do Not Read. Extremely Personal." on it. I get so personal with my journals (usually a big book) that I name them. No jokes, I christen them. I've had only two though since I was 16. Still on the second one. So, why did I start a journal? It was simple. My life was happening so fast that it felt like I was losing track of my own life. I wanted to keep track of my life, of my journey on earth. I write down my highs, my lows, my successes and even my failures. I report myself, my family and a few of my friends to my journal. Why do I write these things down? It's also simple. Besides being a place to express my creativity, it was/is a place to make me feel better. Sometimes, when I am extremely down, I pick up my journal and then I realize I had been there before and I came out of it. My journal encourages me. More than anything, it is like my mirror. I look into it to correct my wrongs and to inspire me. I write down my goals and even my fears in it. I am not saying anybody should get a book to record there sexual activities or their conquests or to rant about how someone else has been so unfair to you or stuff like that. I am just saying, it is a good way to be completely honest with yourself.

It is sometimes funny to me that I write down my life events so much because I have a brilliant memory, I remember events of my life from as far back as sixteen or seventeen years ago. Meaning, I'm not writing those things down just to remember, I am writing them down mostly to learn from my mistakes or better still, learn from my past successes. I jokingly told myself few days ago that, I would hand my journals to my female child (ren) to read about my life. I think not. Except I wait till she's 21 or not.

My journal helps me spiritually, emotionally, physically and in every good way I can think of. I want to know how I am fairing in my relationship with Jesus. I want to know if my financial state is better than it was last year, I want to know if I picked up bad habits I promised to drop. I want to know how far I am with my life goals. I want to know if I'm improving on my attitudes. My journal helps me with all these. It's so beautiful because, if the whole world is lying to you, believe it or not you would not (except of course you're extremely dumb) lie to your own self.

I do feel like I rambled a lot in this post, pardon me. In one word, the whole essence of a journal is Accountability. Of course, there are many other ways to be accountable; some people choose mentors, some choose friends, some choose their religious leaders, which are all very good. I do not know which is the best way, but I do know that being accountable is a very important aspect of life.

"And the LORD answered me, and said, WRITE the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.

Silver Jubilee Plus One

On this day (August 1), 1987, my parents tied the knots in my mother's hometown. About two weeks ago, one beautiful Saturday night, we sat together and watched their wedding video. It was hilarious, of course. My mother's gorgeous JC Penney gown or my Dad's beards, I didn't know which was funnier. I don't want to spill too much details about my parents or siblings or family, as this is my blog (I can put out anything about myself if I want to, but I must respect the privacy of others.) So I'll basically just put down 26 things I've learnt so far from my parents about love, relationship, marriage, parenting and family. I will also add things I've been grateful for. Let me just say, apart from the bible, my parents are my next greatest teachers and inspiration in love matters. Yup, not hollywood, not nollywood, or movies or music or some lame ass, low lives, attention seekers (lol. You get the drift) who claim to be in love. I learn from the best. Of course, I don't learn from them alone, there are other people I constantly try to learn from. But the truth is, my parents are the closest I have been to any marriage. There is no forming, it is what it is. I will start with my caption on instagram and BBM earlier today. In no particular order:
1) These folks (my parents) teach me that in spite of all the craziness in this world, true love and true friendship DOES exist. They are the best friends and greatest team I know.
2) Over the years, my parents have not just given my siblings and I, a roof over our heads, they have given us a HOME. Therefore, I owe it to my future children too, to give them a home.
3) One important lesson is that a house is not necessarily a home.
4) My parents raised my siblings (still raising. lol) on very proper grounds. Frankly, no constitution or code of conducts were ever glued to the fridge or hung by the dinning table. They mostly led by example. Really (speaking for myself now) the best way my parents instilled so much in me was by showing me. You want your child to be excellent, abi? You sef, display excellence.
5) My parents are great communicators. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, those folks do not gist each other. They talk. There is no simpler way of saying this, the folks just talk and talk and talk.
6) Selfless. My mother does some of my worrying for me. Sometimes, I tell her stuff just so I know I'm not the only one worrying about it. Sometimes, I don't tell her stuff because, I don't want her to worry. I think this has to be the hard part of parenting. Loving your children selflessly. If you have to deny yourself of something, you just do it without even thinking twice.
7) Providing. As a child, I thought like a child, as it should  be. hehe. There was a time I felt everything my parents did for me, they owed it to me. Then I went to serve in the village for NYSC and saw how children were living in terrible conditions. Lets just say, I've been more thankful. Now, I'm not saying anybody is or isn't responsible for their financial or social states. I just know some folks have gone over and beyond to provide (not just provide) but give their kids a good life. Thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Mummy. Case closed.
8) Respect. Apart from respecting each other, they respect even we, the kids (I'm using this word loosely o, we are adults :D) as well.
9) I am thankful for the gift of family. AH! I could go on and on and on. I am thankful.
10)  I'm thankful for the 'abaras' once in a while, it was probably needed. This one is for my Mother because my Dad never laid a finger on me and he has my respect FOREVER for that. But my mother had to once in a while bring me back to my senses with some slaps on the back. Thanks mama.
11) Number 10 may make it look like my Daddy is a very sweet, gentle, never-raising-voice-at-me type of Dad. Far from that, although he never beat me, best believe one email from my father sends chills down my spine. Yea. The man has his own ways.
12) Number 10 also teaches me that no matter how much two people love each other, each person has his uniqueness and difference. Their individual approaches may have been different, but they had a common goal.
13) One big lesson I've also learnt from these folks is knowing what you want. Both of them have told me (individually and together) how they met and their lives prior to that. In choosing life partners, know what you want and go for for it. As simple as that may sound, people just make it complex. Smh.
14) I'm thankful to my parents for loving us unconditionally. In hindsight, I do not think I was an easy child to love. I never did drugs or partied or slept around or bailed out of school. No, but I was difficult in the most subtle ways. I was just nonchalant and lackadaisical, which was so irritating. lol. So, thanks Dad and Mum for loving me unconditionally.
15) Thank you also for loving each other unconditionally. When two elephants fight, the grass suffers. Go figure.
16) I can go on and on and give you gist of how wonderful these folks have been to each other. The truth is that I've learned from them that no matter how much two people love each other, it will not always be a bed of roses. You will fight and argue and disagree. Settle.
17) I'm thankful to my parents for taking us to church. No story.
18) I've learned to be friends with my future spouse. Yup! my future spouse and I gotta be best friends, no two ways. Best buddies!
19) Never underestimate the power of a good home neither should you underestimate the effects on every individual in the home.
20) Family is an important part of everybody. Yes, fate chooses our family for us but we should learn to love them and be thankful for them because in the end, in the very end, when it comes to who will be there, you can always count on Family (most times.)
21) At an early age, I learnt that some friends make or break you. My parents taught me early, to be wary.
22) Sacrifices. If I was arranging this list in a particular order, this would have topped the list. Love, parenting, marriage, friendship, relationships and family all involve sacrificing.
23) A family that prays together, stays together.
24) When the going gets tough, remember this statement my Mum told me yesterday "Tough times don't last but tough people do." Again, whether it's with your lover or parents or sibling or friends, there will be tough times.
25) Don't give up on people you love. Times and times again, we have failed and God doesn't give up on us. So, tell me why you, a mere mortal should give up on anyone. This life is very mysterious. Again, like my Mum would say "eni la mo, ko seni to mola." (It's only today we know, nobody knows tomorrow.)
26) I deliberately left this best one for the last thing. I am thankful to God for EVERYTHING. Sounds cliche, abi? Wrong. I'm genuinely thankful that I had twenty six things to write. I did not even think I would write up to 26 things oh, I almost stopped at number 18 or thereabout to go back up and edit the first paragraph where I talked about writing 26 things. lol. While, there may actually be more things to write, I'll leave it at this.

To my parents...I pray that in the next 24 years, I will be able to write down 50 things I've learnt because by God's grace, there will be more to learn. So like I told you both this morning, LONG LIFE AND PROSPERITY! More Love. More Peace. More Wealth. More Prosperity and a Long Life. Here's to 40 more years!!!