The Gospel, According To Emmy Collins.

My people, how una dey? I hope sey una dey kampe. Please ignore my lame attempt at pidgin. Nigerian Pidgin fascinates me actually, its interesting and very witty. Okay, enough of the Linguistics 101 class. So, my sweetheart, Evuas sent me some links. Let me start by saying I can be incredibly stale when it comes to entertainment or anything for that matter, I tend to always carry last in matters like entertainment or songs. Thank God for my friends who take it upon themselves to once in a while carry me along. These links were from Emmy Collins' website diarybyemmy.com. To start with, I didn't even know who Emmy Collins was *covers face in shame* I am certain I'm not alone. Anyway, my first visit to this man's website was an article were he praised Bez's new video and indirectly insulted Clearance Peters by suggesting that he should take a break from making videos and go on a holiday because folks like Kemi Adetiba are here to stay. My first thought was who is this one? I took temporary job as vol tron for Mr. Peters who of course doesn't even know I exist. Smh. I was tackling my friend that why would Emmy say stuff like that and besides what was the big deal about Bez's video anyway. Hiss. It was shot in New York. Ehen, and so? My friend and I went back and forth on the issue and dropped it.

Yesterday, she was laughing out loud about a post from the same site and sent me more links. So I thought, why not just go through the whole thing. I went to his site and I had the time of my life. My ribs still hurt from laughter of yesterday. The website is not centered around comedy, it is his bluntness mixed with humor that is just so interesting. My guy's (Yes, I've claimed him) bluntness is on another level. As far as I know, no fashion or entertainment blogger says the truth the way he says it. He is arguably the most honest Nigerian fashion/style/entertainment blogger. I take that back.
He is UN-arguably the most honest. He says the absolute truth even about people that are his friends, he really doesn't  care. The way he says it like he genuinely cares about their welfare and thus pointing out their errors is what tickles my fancy. He wrote a post about bleaching and he hit the nail on the head, without mincing words or lame indirect talks. My guy went as far as creating a list of members of The Bleaching Inc. Of Nigeria. I laughed till I was almost breathless. He painstakingly listed the disadvantages of bleaching. I've genuinely hated that act but I never knew the price to pay for that stupid act is actually very steep. For their sake though, I hope they read and learn from it. And by the way, toning and bleaching are in the same family abeg. Toning is just a user friendly word for bleaching. *Shrug*

He has a great sense of style himself, so he has a free pass to insult anybody's style, which he did WELL. OK, they were not insults just mere critiques. Heck, I hope those folks listen and learn. Jeez, forget our folks in political positions, our entertainment industry is another sector that's a canker-worm eating deep into our society. People doing crappy songs and films and making  money they hardly know how to manage. Hideous tattoos and dress sense *pukes*, we need help! Now, My guy has brought help. But no, they are waging war against the poor man. He addressed something else, NUDITY. We are now in a world where, the new cool is being bad. It is crazy. Slutty is NOT sexy. I could write a book on nudity and Nigerian girls. You can't make it into the hall of fame if you don't reveal. UGH. I'm so happy Emmy is a guy and at least, we have a man's perspective on the issue. Dear men, do you find a lady woman more attractive if she's practically nude? You're not even a lady if you dress thrashy please. I used to not want to say much on this because people could be like, what else would an A-cup think. But even if I was a DD, I'm certain I would try hard to leave a little to the imagination. This is not even moral or christian me talking, it is common sense me talking. I liked that he mentioned some of the celebs one after the other and told them point blank that they didn't look cool. For goodness sake, being a celeb isn't about fast cars only na. Or is it? Because, from what I thought, you are a role model to teens and young adults, so isn't that how you should dress and act? Teenagers and even children left, right and center in Nigeria are beginning to dress like street urchins in this gentle name of fashion. I see picture of little children dressed in scandalous outfit and I'm just weak. You dress your child in a scandalous dress and you have the effrontery to criticize the Nigerian Senate. Ha-ha. Newsflash; that is also child pornography and it should be stopped. I've totally digressed. Sigh

Emmy Collins is just a G and as much as he may appear insensitive. He is not. Frankly, the dude saw the need of an intervention and seeing as nobody was ready to take the plunge, he did. He referred to quite a number of things on his website and I can't talk about all of them because then, that would be a whole book. lol. He even talked about weight issues and weight loss. These days when people are told to lose weight or something close to that, they get very defensive.

"Only dogs like bones."

"I love my body." 

"I don't care what people say about me."

Ladies and gentlemen, let's leave them to bask in their stupidity. Nobody is asking you to lose weight for any other body but yourself, honey. Neither is anyone asking you to hate your body or give a hoot about what others say. It's about loving your body enough to actually do something about it. Take care of your health! Thin or Obese, your health is paramount. We all love ice cream and other junk foods but we should also know when and how to cut the excesses. It is really that simple. I'm extremely happy about Emmy Collins' platform because, as a nation, we really run and hide from the truth. Deception everywhere. Let me stop please, before I start a movement now. hehehe. Truthfully though, thank God for Emmy. I hope they listen.
Love,
Ifeoluwa.