Book of the Month: My Sister, The Serial Killer
Tuesday, February 25, 2020
I don't know why there was no book of the month for January. I think I just did not fancy any of the books I read enough to make a post out of them. Yeah, that happens. But I will try my hardest to make sure this goes up in February (cookie points if it actually does—hurray , it will!). Okay, so the book of this month is definitely Oyinkan Braithwaite's My Sister, The Serial Killer.
Food Chat: Why Turkish Food is Amazingly Good
Thursday, February 20, 2020
How's everyone doing? Maybe I should begin every blogpost with this very important question. Everyone talks about how slow January is as a month, generally, but I truly never feel this way at all. It never feels like January is moving as a glacier pace to me. To me, the pace is just fine. But that's just me. All that to say, we thank God we are in February (LOL, this was written at the beginning of the month even though I'm only just posting it).
As the title so glaringly says, this post is about foooooddddd. And I am going to be the one to tell you all about it myself. As this whole thing is still in its beginning stages, I'm not quite sure what format to use. But what does it matter? I will try to follow the format of questioning from the last food chat as best as I can. And of course, I will share the pictures and of course say something about the place. How does that sound?
First off, we went to this place (in far far far away land) to celebrate my friend's birthday. It is a Turkish restaurant in Manassas. Now, when my friend said she wanted a Turkish place for her birthday brunch, I said oh? okay... Please note that she is not Turkish lol. Plus when she said where it was and how long it would take there, I was like erm, that food must be good for us to go ALL THE WAY considering the several other local brunch options. I will be honest, I was very apprehensive. I had never had Turkish food before, and quite frankly I did not know what to expect. But like I always say, it didn't matter much to me. It was going to be great company and we were celebrating my friend. In fact, the journey would give us all time to catch up after our respective holiday travels. So why not? What's the worst that could happen, I would not like the food? So what? And so we traveled down. Beloved, I was PLEASANTLY surprised. It was AMAZING. I am here to preach the gospel that Turkish food or at least, Turkish breakfast/brunch is where it's at.
So the place is appropriately called, My Cravingz and so easy to miss on the very quiet road it is. They call themselves a "brunch/bakery spot".
As for how I found it, well I already mentioned most of it. My friend asked a Turkish person where to get the best Turkish food and they suggested this place, probably thinking there was no way we would actually go there. Hahaha. Well, SURPRISE!
What did I like about it? Everything really. The food itself was really awesome. But the ambience: cozy, not overly crowded, and lots of light. Nothing to see outside of course, it was kinda in the middle of nowhere. And yes, parking was free. I mean, this is not a fancy place or anything. We had a platter. But the best thing was the food. It's family owned, and everyone was incredibly pleasant. I mean, incredibly pleasant. Someone, either the manager or the owner himself attended to us all through. Apart from the birthday babe who has lived in Turkey before, the rest of us were new to Turkish food. So he took his time to explain the menu to us, and was VERY patient despite our indecisiveness (and boy, were we annoyingly indecisive lol). So his kindness was noteworthy. My friend (not the birthday babe) even got like complementary Turkish bagel or something. So yes, they were very nice there.
We ordered a platter, pictured above. And I regret not taking more pictures. I think I was so carried away by all the food. Anyway, each platter contained spreads and sides enough to feed four people. The platter had various cheeses, olives, homemade jams with no sugar added, tomatoes, a variety of nuts, Simit (Turkish bagel), Menemen (this is a dish made with eggs, green peppers, tomatoes, and some spices), Muhlama (this is cornmeal and cheese), Soujouk (this is a kind of sausage, I think), Mucver (like a zucchini fritter. Nigerians, think Akara but made with zucchini not beans), Turkish bread (just soooo good) etc. Yup, ALL of these were in the platter. And on top of that, you can get sides as well. So for our sides, we expanded on some of the individual components of the platter. That Menemen stuff is the actual best Lol. My friend (again, not birthday babe) is vegan so she got the Menemen without eggs, and I think it was just as good. I don't like eggs so I think I prefer sans eggs. Either way, that stuff (Menemen) on Turkish bread or frankly any of their pastries (which are ALL made in house, by the way) is a party in the mouth. It frankly reminded me of Nigerian food and I think that's why I loved it even more. Menemen for instance can be egg stew, and without eggs can (emphasis on can) be ata dindin. Now Mucver was something else that I underestimated. I thought, Zucchini, blegh...I mean, seriously what good can come out of zucchini? My friends, the answer to that is A LOT of GOOD. Seriously delicious. If I wasn't so lazy, I would actually look online for the recipe. You know what, maybe I should.
What did I not like at this place? Nothing. I can one hundred percent say there was nothing about this place I didn't like. There was this honey butter thing they had in the platter. Woah. Good stuff. I realized I have been doing brunch wrong all the while ha.
Would I return? Probably not. I know, lol, after all of that. I wish I could but it's too far. Now maybe if I make a trip of it, why not. It would certainly be worth it.
Well, that's it!
I hope I touched on everything. If you ever visit, let me know, please. And apologies for the lack of pictures. It wasn't until writing this post I realized I didn't have that many pictures from the trip.
Oops.
Love,
I
As the title so glaringly says, this post is about foooooddddd. And I am going to be the one to tell you all about it myself. As this whole thing is still in its beginning stages, I'm not quite sure what format to use. But what does it matter? I will try to follow the format of questioning from the last food chat as best as I can. And of course, I will share the pictures and of course say something about the place. How does that sound?
First off, we went to this place (in far far far away land) to celebrate my friend's birthday. It is a Turkish restaurant in Manassas. Now, when my friend said she wanted a Turkish place for her birthday brunch, I said oh? okay... Please note that she is not Turkish lol. Plus when she said where it was and how long it would take there, I was like erm, that food must be good for us to go ALL THE WAY considering the several other local brunch options. I will be honest, I was very apprehensive. I had never had Turkish food before, and quite frankly I did not know what to expect. But like I always say, it didn't matter much to me. It was going to be great company and we were celebrating my friend. In fact, the journey would give us all time to catch up after our respective holiday travels. So why not? What's the worst that could happen, I would not like the food? So what? And so we traveled down. Beloved, I was PLEASANTLY surprised. It was AMAZING. I am here to preach the gospel that Turkish food or at least, Turkish breakfast/brunch is where it's at.
So the place is appropriately called, My Cravingz and so easy to miss on the very quiet road it is. They call themselves a "brunch/bakery spot".
As for how I found it, well I already mentioned most of it. My friend asked a Turkish person where to get the best Turkish food and they suggested this place, probably thinking there was no way we would actually go there. Hahaha. Well, SURPRISE!
What did I like about it? Everything really. The food itself was really awesome. But the ambience: cozy, not overly crowded, and lots of light. Nothing to see outside of course, it was kinda in the middle of nowhere. And yes, parking was free. I mean, this is not a fancy place or anything. We had a platter. But the best thing was the food. It's family owned, and everyone was incredibly pleasant. I mean, incredibly pleasant. Someone, either the manager or the owner himself attended to us all through. Apart from the birthday babe who has lived in Turkey before, the rest of us were new to Turkish food. So he took his time to explain the menu to us, and was VERY patient despite our indecisiveness (and boy, were we annoyingly indecisive lol). So his kindness was noteworthy. My friend (not the birthday babe) even got like complementary Turkish bagel or something. So yes, they were very nice there.
We ordered a platter, pictured above. And I regret not taking more pictures. I think I was so carried away by all the food. Anyway, each platter contained spreads and sides enough to feed four people. The platter had various cheeses, olives, homemade jams with no sugar added, tomatoes, a variety of nuts, Simit (Turkish bagel), Menemen (this is a dish made with eggs, green peppers, tomatoes, and some spices), Muhlama (this is cornmeal and cheese), Soujouk (this is a kind of sausage, I think), Mucver (like a zucchini fritter. Nigerians, think Akara but made with zucchini not beans), Turkish bread (just soooo good) etc. Yup, ALL of these were in the platter. And on top of that, you can get sides as well. So for our sides, we expanded on some of the individual components of the platter. That Menemen stuff is the actual best Lol. My friend (again, not birthday babe) is vegan so she got the Menemen without eggs, and I think it was just as good. I don't like eggs so I think I prefer sans eggs. Either way, that stuff (Menemen) on Turkish bread or frankly any of their pastries (which are ALL made in house, by the way) is a party in the mouth. It frankly reminded me of Nigerian food and I think that's why I loved it even more. Menemen for instance can be egg stew, and without eggs can (emphasis on can) be ata dindin. Now Mucver was something else that I underestimated. I thought, Zucchini, blegh...I mean, seriously what good can come out of zucchini? My friends, the answer to that is A LOT of GOOD. Seriously delicious. If I wasn't so lazy, I would actually look online for the recipe. You know what, maybe I should.
 |
| Turkish coffee...so bitter |
What did I not like at this place? Nothing. I can one hundred percent say there was nothing about this place I didn't like. There was this honey butter thing they had in the platter. Woah. Good stuff. I realized I have been doing brunch wrong all the while ha.
Would I return? Probably not. I know, lol, after all of that. I wish I could but it's too far. Now maybe if I make a trip of it, why not. It would certainly be worth it.
Well, that's it!
I hope I touched on everything. If you ever visit, let me know, please. And apologies for the lack of pictures. It wasn't until writing this post I realized I didn't have that many pictures from the trip.
Oops.
Love,
I
On Hope, Life, and Grief
Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Life is an interesting cocktail of the good and the bad. I always like to remind myself of this fact.
I was settling in after Church on Sunday, relaxing with an old episode of one of my favorite shows, when I glanced at my phone and saw the headline. The headline that read, Kobe Bryant, legendary basketball player dies in helicopter crash. I thought to myself, the person I think is Kobe Bryant is probably not this person who just passed. I wanted to continue my show when I read a line immediately below that said, he was 41. It confirmed my fears, that it was indeed Kobe Bryant.
He was 41.
There is a conflicting feeling when a famous person dies. When you feel an overwhelming grief, you may need to remind yourself that you don't really have the authority to mourn this person; to grieve. You are probably thinking you should devote all that energy into thinking about and praying for his family and friends. Except, that's not completely true. You, too can be sad when someone you liked (even if you don't know them) passed away. You can also send your thoughts and prayers to his loved ones. Those things are not mutually exclusive. This is especially true for his diehard fans and people whose lives were truly impacted by him. But then there are people like me. I don't think I have watched up to an hour of any sports combined all my life. I don't do sports at all. I knew of Kobe Bryant, but I did not know him that well. I never ever watched a single game of his. I'm not even sure I know what he sounds like. Yet, I was sad.
I was confused too.
I did not understand how someone that probably had plans for today, someone that literally tweeted a few hours before, someone that probably had plans for next year could just... die, so suddenly.
I kept thinking, how could someone who worked so hard; I mean, all that grind, all that hustle, all of it gone in one afternoon on a ride that is normally so uneventful. There is a video trending from 2018 where he explains why he always takes helicopters. He said, LA traffic is insane and getting his kids from point A to B, picking them up after school, and spending valuable time with them mattered to him. Therefore, it made more sense to hop on helicopters to commute across the city instead of wasting time in traffic. Time. Kids. It's the struggle everyone has. How to make sure this world is all the more comfortable, better, convenient for their children. Like many fathers, he was devoted to his children even right up till his death.
The major thing this reveals is the uncertainty and fleeting nature of life. And it is that uncertainty a lot of us just can't deal with. Since retiring a few years ago, Kobe Bryant has gone on to win an Oscar in a category that no black man (person?) ever won. He just was the kind of person to be the best at whatever he did. And just like that. At 41. Just 41. But death is the ultimate equalizer. Even the world's best, undefeated, MVP, invincible...even Black Mamba can be defeated by death.
While still reeling in my unauthorized grief, I stumbled on a video of Pastor Tony Evans honoring the life and legacy of his amazing and extraordinary wife, Lois Evans, after her passing a few weeks ago. He reminded me of something that struck a chord when I first heard it years ago. We tend to judge how old a person is by their birthdate when we really should be judging by their death day. If a person is 50 and they will die at 60, then they are really old. But if a person is 50 and will die at 100, well then they are really young. But the mystery of life is that we don't know. We just don't know.
It is this mysterious and sudden nature of death that baffles us to our core.
It is why we are so shaken that someone can leave home for a quick trip to support his daughter and then never return.
It is true that death is certain for every one of us. But sometimes, there is an added cruelty to it that punches even the toughest of us in the gut. And nothing epitomizes that kind of cruelty than the fact that his 13 year old daughter, basketball maven herself, baby Mamba, Mambacita, his legacy, was also in the helicopter that crashed. That, I don't and will never comprehend. That two of her teammates, possibly around the same age as she was, were in the helicopter. That her teammates' parents, one couple who left behind older kids, were in the helicopter. That another mom was in the helicopter. That all those lives perished in one fatal swoop characterizes a fragility of life too much for many people to comprehend.
In another video just less than 48 hours after Kobe's passing, Charlamagne da god was clearly perplexed and devastated when he asked TD Jakes, that, how do we continue to believe in a God that allows this kind of tragedy? How do we move on from this type of pain. TD Jakes' response reminds me how truly profound that man is. He said, we don't. We can't. We don't move on from this kind of pain. We just learn to survive. We can't explain the unexplainable. It is our faith in these times that allow us to survive. It is exactly because of our faith and belief in God that we can survive this. And yes that faith and doubt can coexist. I feel like this is the video everyone needs to watch in these difficult times.
Interestingly, that we all feel so affected; that we are all so terribly sad; and that the world mourns reflect two things [among others]. One is that 41 may be young, but it was more than enough for the Black Mamba to have such a long-lasting impact and meaningful legacy. The second is the connectivity of us all, as human beings. It's painful that such a tragic experience reinforces this. But it's also beautiful that we can all think of the Bryants, the Altobellis, the Chesters, and the Zobayans. That we can all, one way or another, share in their grief and hope for their fortitude.
I can't even think about the unimaginable pain Vanessa Bryant is in. Her husband and her daughter passed away on the same day. This is not something I wish my worst enemy, if I had one. The pain and the grief across board is heartbreaking. And I think people are allowed to actively feel bad. To grieve. To mourn. To be existential. To cry. To wallow.
Whatever.
In the grand scheme of things, it makes everything else so...tiny. So insignificant. So inconsequential. The petty annoyances. The fights. The struggle. It's like yuck, they never even matter in the end. Blegh. As a Christian, our eternal hope is that in the end we would have fought the good fight. We would have run the race. Even if you're not a Christian, there is some version of this that is true for you. As Pastor Evans said, you better make sure the fight you fought is the good fight. You better make sure you ran the race that was worth it. In the end, when you say, I have fought the good fight, you want to look back and be certain it was not stupid, nonsensical fights. That when it mattered, when it had to do with your wellbeing, with impacting lives, with your kids, with love, that you fought. That it was worth it.
In the wake of this kind of tragedy, we [rightfully] tend to remember that we need to act right; to be kind; to live fully; to relax; to not be so uptight because all is vanity; because this life is awfully meaningless. But so often, we are always quick to return to status quo where we forget life is temporary and fleeting and meaningless; we are so quick to return to the rat race.
I hope that this time around, we take a minute to remember the things and people that are truly worth fighting for. I hope we take time to smell the roses. I hope we take the time to give flowers [not necessarily literally, more figuratively. But literally is fine too!] to people while they are alive. And to love. And to cherish. And to, no matter what, never stop hoping.
Love, and some hope,
I
I was settling in after Church on Sunday, relaxing with an old episode of one of my favorite shows, when I glanced at my phone and saw the headline. The headline that read, Kobe Bryant, legendary basketball player dies in helicopter crash. I thought to myself, the person I think is Kobe Bryant is probably not this person who just passed. I wanted to continue my show when I read a line immediately below that said, he was 41. It confirmed my fears, that it was indeed Kobe Bryant.
He was 41.
There is a conflicting feeling when a famous person dies. When you feel an overwhelming grief, you may need to remind yourself that you don't really have the authority to mourn this person; to grieve. You are probably thinking you should devote all that energy into thinking about and praying for his family and friends. Except, that's not completely true. You, too can be sad when someone you liked (even if you don't know them) passed away. You can also send your thoughts and prayers to his loved ones. Those things are not mutually exclusive. This is especially true for his diehard fans and people whose lives were truly impacted by him. But then there are people like me. I don't think I have watched up to an hour of any sports combined all my life. I don't do sports at all. I knew of Kobe Bryant, but I did not know him that well. I never ever watched a single game of his. I'm not even sure I know what he sounds like. Yet, I was sad.
I was confused too.
I did not understand how someone that probably had plans for today, someone that literally tweeted a few hours before, someone that probably had plans for next year could just... die, so suddenly.
I kept thinking, how could someone who worked so hard; I mean, all that grind, all that hustle, all of it gone in one afternoon on a ride that is normally so uneventful. There is a video trending from 2018 where he explains why he always takes helicopters. He said, LA traffic is insane and getting his kids from point A to B, picking them up after school, and spending valuable time with them mattered to him. Therefore, it made more sense to hop on helicopters to commute across the city instead of wasting time in traffic. Time. Kids. It's the struggle everyone has. How to make sure this world is all the more comfortable, better, convenient for their children. Like many fathers, he was devoted to his children even right up till his death.
The major thing this reveals is the uncertainty and fleeting nature of life. And it is that uncertainty a lot of us just can't deal with. Since retiring a few years ago, Kobe Bryant has gone on to win an Oscar in a category that no black man (person?) ever won. He just was the kind of person to be the best at whatever he did. And just like that. At 41. Just 41. But death is the ultimate equalizer. Even the world's best, undefeated, MVP, invincible...even Black Mamba can be defeated by death.
While still reeling in my unauthorized grief, I stumbled on a video of Pastor Tony Evans honoring the life and legacy of his amazing and extraordinary wife, Lois Evans, after her passing a few weeks ago. He reminded me of something that struck a chord when I first heard it years ago. We tend to judge how old a person is by their birthdate when we really should be judging by their death day. If a person is 50 and they will die at 60, then they are really old. But if a person is 50 and will die at 100, well then they are really young. But the mystery of life is that we don't know. We just don't know.
It is this mysterious and sudden nature of death that baffles us to our core.
It is why we are so shaken that someone can leave home for a quick trip to support his daughter and then never return.
It is true that death is certain for every one of us. But sometimes, there is an added cruelty to it that punches even the toughest of us in the gut. And nothing epitomizes that kind of cruelty than the fact that his 13 year old daughter, basketball maven herself, baby Mamba, Mambacita, his legacy, was also in the helicopter that crashed. That, I don't and will never comprehend. That two of her teammates, possibly around the same age as she was, were in the helicopter. That her teammates' parents, one couple who left behind older kids, were in the helicopter. That another mom was in the helicopter. That all those lives perished in one fatal swoop characterizes a fragility of life too much for many people to comprehend.
In another video just less than 48 hours after Kobe's passing, Charlamagne da god was clearly perplexed and devastated when he asked TD Jakes, that, how do we continue to believe in a God that allows this kind of tragedy? How do we move on from this type of pain. TD Jakes' response reminds me how truly profound that man is. He said, we don't. We can't. We don't move on from this kind of pain. We just learn to survive. We can't explain the unexplainable. It is our faith in these times that allow us to survive. It is exactly because of our faith and belief in God that we can survive this. And yes that faith and doubt can coexist. I feel like this is the video everyone needs to watch in these difficult times.
Interestingly, that we all feel so affected; that we are all so terribly sad; and that the world mourns reflect two things [among others]. One is that 41 may be young, but it was more than enough for the Black Mamba to have such a long-lasting impact and meaningful legacy. The second is the connectivity of us all, as human beings. It's painful that such a tragic experience reinforces this. But it's also beautiful that we can all think of the Bryants, the Altobellis, the Chesters, and the Zobayans. That we can all, one way or another, share in their grief and hope for their fortitude.
I can't even think about the unimaginable pain Vanessa Bryant is in. Her husband and her daughter passed away on the same day. This is not something I wish my worst enemy, if I had one. The pain and the grief across board is heartbreaking. And I think people are allowed to actively feel bad. To grieve. To mourn. To be existential. To cry. To wallow.
Whatever.
In the grand scheme of things, it makes everything else so...tiny. So insignificant. So inconsequential. The petty annoyances. The fights. The struggle. It's like yuck, they never even matter in the end. Blegh. As a Christian, our eternal hope is that in the end we would have fought the good fight. We would have run the race. Even if you're not a Christian, there is some version of this that is true for you. As Pastor Evans said, you better make sure the fight you fought is the good fight. You better make sure you ran the race that was worth it. In the end, when you say, I have fought the good fight, you want to look back and be certain it was not stupid, nonsensical fights. That when it mattered, when it had to do with your wellbeing, with impacting lives, with your kids, with love, that you fought. That it was worth it.
In the wake of this kind of tragedy, we [rightfully] tend to remember that we need to act right; to be kind; to live fully; to relax; to not be so uptight because all is vanity; because this life is awfully meaningless. But so often, we are always quick to return to status quo where we forget life is temporary and fleeting and meaningless; we are so quick to return to the rat race.
I hope that this time around, we take a minute to remember the things and people that are truly worth fighting for. I hope we take time to smell the roses. I hope we take the time to give flowers [not necessarily literally, more figuratively. But literally is fine too!] to people while they are alive. And to love. And to cherish. And to, no matter what, never stop hoping.
Love, and some hope,
I
Friday Reflections
Friday, January 10, 2020
1.) Happy New Year! When does it become too late to say this?
2.) I can't believe I'm back here so soon.
3.) "Your twenties is for firing dudes who don't act right." - Judge Lynn. Preach! I will add, any age is a good age for firing stupid ass boys :).
4.) "Get a large life so even if a dude does not end up in it you still enjoy it." I just discovered Judge Lynn through the video in number 3 and she is on fayaaa!
5.) How Vera's marriage ended. There is sooooo much packed in this post; so much lessons. I am so happy for Vera, I gotta say. Thank God for systems available to protect women, and we need champions for such systems to be created in developing countries too.
6.) Also, I am so happy Vera did not cower or bow to the shame and secrecy everyone expects Women to embody, so they can suffer in silence. NO MORE. EXPOSE SHAMELESS MEN. EXPOSE THEM.
7.) "It's okay for your plans to change—even if you have had those plans for a long time." Sometimes we hold on to dreams just because we have had them for a long while. Thirty things Dami learnt from 30.
8.) Everything on that list was actually profound no matter how straightforward they seemed. But something else from that list that needs to be louder for those at the back: "Just because you’re open about your life doesn’t make you a fool- there is nothing special about being secretive"
9.) That's it for today. Let's just collectively ignore the affairs of the world, and all the hormonal and overly emotional men at the helm of affairs. Yuck.
2.) I can't believe I'm back here so soon.
3.) "Your twenties is for firing dudes who don't act right." - Judge Lynn. Preach! I will add, any age is a good age for firing stupid ass boys :).
4.) "Get a large life so even if a dude does not end up in it you still enjoy it." I just discovered Judge Lynn through the video in number 3 and she is on fayaaa!
5.) How Vera's marriage ended. There is sooooo much packed in this post; so much lessons. I am so happy for Vera, I gotta say. Thank God for systems available to protect women, and we need champions for such systems to be created in developing countries too.
6.) Also, I am so happy Vera did not cower or bow to the shame and secrecy everyone expects Women to embody, so they can suffer in silence. NO MORE. EXPOSE SHAMELESS MEN. EXPOSE THEM.
7.) "It's okay for your plans to change—even if you have had those plans for a long time." Sometimes we hold on to dreams just because we have had them for a long while. Thirty things Dami learnt from 30.
8.) Everything on that list was actually profound no matter how straightforward they seemed. But something else from that list that needs to be louder for those at the back: "Just because you’re open about your life doesn’t make you a fool- there is nothing special about being secretive"
9.) That's it for today. Let's just collectively ignore the affairs of the world, and all the hormonal and overly emotional men at the helm of affairs. Yuck.
An End-of-the-Year Note Plus the Most Popular Posts on the Blog in 2019
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
Hiya! And welcome back. An interesting irony is that if I blogged all year with the same consistency I have had this month of December, this blog would have been really productive. But it is what it is.
Everyone is currently doing end of the decade reviews. The interesting thing is, end-of-the-year reviews were cumbersome enough already, now imagine adding end-of-the-decade reviews on top of that, it's wild out there on Instagram. I don't want to be to so cynical as to discard these reviews altogether. I will say though, that they can be very ridiculous and narcissistic. You should therefore not feel any pressure to perform this review, especially not so publicly. Not everyone achieved something grand in the past decade. Hell, not everyone can remember the past decade accurately enough to make an assessment of it, you know. It is absolutely fine to want to move forward instead of taking stock especially if it hurts you. I always talk about the seductive nature of pessimism: this need to couch every aspect of the year as terrible or sad or woeful even though, for many people it was a mix of the good and the bad. Or at worst, it was mundane or normal. Normal is good. I love normal. Finally on this issue, time is a social construct (for real. I joke about this), but end of the year/decade/century, whatever, are mostly arbitrary boundaries human beings created.
So instead of another review of my life, which I know you have absolutely no interest in, I decided to highlight the top ten most popular posts on this blog this year. I did not really blog this year. But I liked the pace with which I blogged. When I wrote here, it was only when I absolutely wanted to and I think that enthusiasm seeped through my words. It was never a chore. I liked that. Otherwise, I have been writing in other places too. So I'm really glad and proud that I can confidently call myself a Writer now. It's always been one of my biggest joys/dreams/aspirations: to be a Writer.
Without anymore ado, here goes:
10.) The tenth most popular was How to Make Decisions When Your Faith Wavers. This, I think is very apropos for entering a new year. Because make no mistake, you faith will probably waver every now and then. What happens when it does? What happens when you don't know what to do next? When you don't know if you will fail (again) or if something is God's will for you? I talked about how to handle such challenges in that post. I can definitely understand the appeal of this post. The interesting part of that post is that I desperately needed that post for myself at the time I wrote it.
9.) Number nine was pretty phenomenal for me too; it was On the Joy of Really Living. It changed the game for me, and it made me bolder to dream. Something about writing that (or actually realizing what I wrote) woke me up. I hope in this new year, you really live. I mean, relax, enjoy, eat, drink and be merry because the Bible tells me in Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 that's God's gift to us: to enjoy life. And to remember that whatever your hands find to do, do them well. I hope that you don't just exist but try your hardest to pursue your passions, your hobbies...I'm not talking about doing things just to make money off of them a la side hustles. I'm talking about sharing your gifts with the world and doing things because they make you happy. And if you don't yet have something you're passionate about in that sense, keep looking. You will find it.
8.) This was the second part of the Eating My Way Through Lagos series. I mean, it was about food... and in Lagos. Enough said. Don't forget, if it inspires you to visit Lagos, Nigeria or to visit any of those places mentioned. You should let me know, please!
7.) I'm so glad a Book of the Month was one of the most popular posts. This one was on the book, Woke Church. Again, not surprising at all. It's a phenomenal book, and could not be more important for the world we live in now.
6.) Sometimes I like to use this blog as a medium for ranting. So thank you for always indulging me ha. Cos y'all loved this: A Sunday Ramble on Being Carefree, Being Anxious, and Being Gifted. I gotta tell you a secret: I have this post permanently opened in my browser to remind me to live audaciously. I hope it inspires you to be bolder in 2020, to be more authentic, and to be a little bit more carefree. After the happenings around number 9's post, I was now able to admit certain things to myself, like compliment myself.
5.) This was quite recent haha. It was basically about how traveling and self-care are overrated. I was actually a bit worried I would step on toes with that post. Turns out, tons of people really agreed with me.
4.) Sigh. This one still breaks my heart. It is and will always be For Rachel. Heaven truly gained an amazing soul this year when Rachel Held Evans passed away. I did not even know her personally but I just wanted, needed to write something in her memory and to honor her. Plus I think I needed to grieve her too. She was so young. I'm glad the post resonated with many, both here and on Instagram.
3.) We are warming up now. I wrote about the BEST, most PROFOUND piece of entertainment I consumed this year: When They See Us. And to say people liked this post would be an understatement. Again, I'm truly glad I wrote when I felt like rather than writing...just because. If you haven't seen When They See Us, please watch it on Netflix
2.) The second most popular post on this blog this year was about love, relationships, dating, marriage, and why you should never settle for less. I rarely talk about love and romance on this blog because enough people do that. But once in a while, I like to share my truths. This was an extremely long post but it is becoming one of the most popular posts on the blog EVER. So maybe I should talk about that more? Nah. Lol. Another unconventional thing I do on this blog is to write what is heartfelt and not necessarily based on trends. I'm a purist in that sense.
1.) DRUMROLL!!!!! Hahahaha. The most popular post this year and now among the most popular posts on the blog ever was my very first post on grad school and academia on this blog. I wrote about the differences between getting a PhD and a Medical Degree. Wild. The popularity of this post is wild. For the longest time, I had been very careful and deliberate to separate my life in academia from my blog/online life. I had gone the extra mile to make sure I never even mentioned the fact that I was getting a PhD, much less talking about it. But I realized there was not enough information and honestly there are too few black girls doing this. So apart from wanting to share resources and tips, I also wanted to be a little bit visible for others coming along, which took courage because I'm an in-her-shell type girl. I have not regretted the decision to share at all. And I will probably share more of that.
There we have it. The ten most popular posts of the year on this blog. I'm probably not going to blog more next year. I will however, truly write when I can and when it matters. Thank you so much for always hanging around despite how sporadically I post. Thank you for sharing this space with me, and for always reading. Please definitely stop by in the next year.
Happy new year! I truly wish for you in 2020, joy, goodness, and peace.
Love,
I
Everyone is currently doing end of the decade reviews. The interesting thing is, end-of-the-year reviews were cumbersome enough already, now imagine adding end-of-the-decade reviews on top of that, it's wild out there on Instagram. I don't want to be to so cynical as to discard these reviews altogether. I will say though, that they can be very ridiculous and narcissistic. You should therefore not feel any pressure to perform this review, especially not so publicly. Not everyone achieved something grand in the past decade. Hell, not everyone can remember the past decade accurately enough to make an assessment of it, you know. It is absolutely fine to want to move forward instead of taking stock especially if it hurts you. I always talk about the seductive nature of pessimism: this need to couch every aspect of the year as terrible or sad or woeful even though, for many people it was a mix of the good and the bad. Or at worst, it was mundane or normal. Normal is good. I love normal. Finally on this issue, time is a social construct (for real. I joke about this), but end of the year/decade/century, whatever, are mostly arbitrary boundaries human beings created.
So instead of another review of my life, which I know you have absolutely no interest in, I decided to highlight the top ten most popular posts on this blog this year. I did not really blog this year. But I liked the pace with which I blogged. When I wrote here, it was only when I absolutely wanted to and I think that enthusiasm seeped through my words. It was never a chore. I liked that. Otherwise, I have been writing in other places too. So I'm really glad and proud that I can confidently call myself a Writer now. It's always been one of my biggest joys/dreams/aspirations: to be a Writer.
Without anymore ado, here goes:
 |
| Cheers to 2020! |
10.) The tenth most popular was How to Make Decisions When Your Faith Wavers. This, I think is very apropos for entering a new year. Because make no mistake, you faith will probably waver every now and then. What happens when it does? What happens when you don't know what to do next? When you don't know if you will fail (again) or if something is God's will for you? I talked about how to handle such challenges in that post. I can definitely understand the appeal of this post. The interesting part of that post is that I desperately needed that post for myself at the time I wrote it.
9.) Number nine was pretty phenomenal for me too; it was On the Joy of Really Living. It changed the game for me, and it made me bolder to dream. Something about writing that (or actually realizing what I wrote) woke me up. I hope in this new year, you really live. I mean, relax, enjoy, eat, drink and be merry because the Bible tells me in Ecclesiastes 3:11-13 that's God's gift to us: to enjoy life. And to remember that whatever your hands find to do, do them well. I hope that you don't just exist but try your hardest to pursue your passions, your hobbies...I'm not talking about doing things just to make money off of them a la side hustles. I'm talking about sharing your gifts with the world and doing things because they make you happy. And if you don't yet have something you're passionate about in that sense, keep looking. You will find it.
8.) This was the second part of the Eating My Way Through Lagos series. I mean, it was about food... and in Lagos. Enough said. Don't forget, if it inspires you to visit Lagos, Nigeria or to visit any of those places mentioned. You should let me know, please!
7.) I'm so glad a Book of the Month was one of the most popular posts. This one was on the book, Woke Church. Again, not surprising at all. It's a phenomenal book, and could not be more important for the world we live in now.
6.) Sometimes I like to use this blog as a medium for ranting. So thank you for always indulging me ha. Cos y'all loved this: A Sunday Ramble on Being Carefree, Being Anxious, and Being Gifted. I gotta tell you a secret: I have this post permanently opened in my browser to remind me to live audaciously. I hope it inspires you to be bolder in 2020, to be more authentic, and to be a little bit more carefree. After the happenings around number 9's post, I was now able to admit certain things to myself, like compliment myself.
5.) This was quite recent haha. It was basically about how traveling and self-care are overrated. I was actually a bit worried I would step on toes with that post. Turns out, tons of people really agreed with me.
4.) Sigh. This one still breaks my heart. It is and will always be For Rachel. Heaven truly gained an amazing soul this year when Rachel Held Evans passed away. I did not even know her personally but I just wanted, needed to write something in her memory and to honor her. Plus I think I needed to grieve her too. She was so young. I'm glad the post resonated with many, both here and on Instagram.
3.) We are warming up now. I wrote about the BEST, most PROFOUND piece of entertainment I consumed this year: When They See Us. And to say people liked this post would be an understatement. Again, I'm truly glad I wrote when I felt like rather than writing...just because. If you haven't seen When They See Us, please watch it on Netflix
2.) The second most popular post on this blog this year was about love, relationships, dating, marriage, and why you should never settle for less. I rarely talk about love and romance on this blog because enough people do that. But once in a while, I like to share my truths. This was an extremely long post but it is becoming one of the most popular posts on the blog EVER. So maybe I should talk about that more? Nah. Lol. Another unconventional thing I do on this blog is to write what is heartfelt and not necessarily based on trends. I'm a purist in that sense.
1.) DRUMROLL!!!!! Hahahaha. The most popular post this year and now among the most popular posts on the blog ever was my very first post on grad school and academia on this blog. I wrote about the differences between getting a PhD and a Medical Degree. Wild. The popularity of this post is wild. For the longest time, I had been very careful and deliberate to separate my life in academia from my blog/online life. I had gone the extra mile to make sure I never even mentioned the fact that I was getting a PhD, much less talking about it. But I realized there was not enough information and honestly there are too few black girls doing this. So apart from wanting to share resources and tips, I also wanted to be a little bit visible for others coming along, which took courage because I'm an in-her-shell type girl. I have not regretted the decision to share at all. And I will probably share more of that.
There we have it. The ten most popular posts of the year on this blog. I'm probably not going to blog more next year. I will however, truly write when I can and when it matters. Thank you so much for always hanging around despite how sporadically I post. Thank you for sharing this space with me, and for always reading. Please definitely stop by in the next year.
Happy new year! I truly wish for you in 2020, joy, goodness, and peace.
 |
Love,
I
Food Chat: Cafe Lift in Philadelphia
Monday, December 30, 2019
Hiya! So as promised in this post, I'm back with more food posts. Since there is only so much restaurants I can visit myself, plus the more the merrier, right? Anyway so I will be talking to people about their food and restaurant experiences. I figured it's easier to ask people a couple of questions than have them commit to an entire post; ain't nobody got time for that. This way I can ask questions about their experience and then either narrate the rest myself (based on what they say) or just show you pictures. If you are interested in sharing about your food experiences, feel free to hit me up by the way. Make sure you have food pictures, though; not necessarily professional food pictures. And this can be from anywhere in this world, literally. I guess I should say "anywhere in this universe" not world, but you get the gist.
The first person is Abby, who had brunch somewhere in Philadelphia while traveling.
Hi there! Welcome. So tell us, where did you have this food in Philly, what restaurant?
Hi Ife. Thank you for having me. It was at Cafe Lift on N 13th street.
How did you hear about it? Or are you are frequent visitor there?
Nope. It was my very first time, and I found it by Googling, really. I just searched for a brunch place and it looked like the nicest option I found.
So... spill the beans (pun intended). What did you like about it?
The food, definitely! It was really nice and I was not disappointed. The ambience was also fantastic! There was something about the vibe, I'm not really sure how to describe it. Both inside and outside looked very nice. There was also parking available. It was a weekend so we didn't have to pay for parking. I had avocado toast with runny eggs and it was REALLY good. Someone else in my party had French toast and, another had pancakes. I'm pretty sure everyone was very satisfied with their food. So that was good. It was also very affordable, with meals ranging from $9 to $15 or thereabout. There was also wide range of options on the menu.
What did you not like about it?
Hmm several things to be honest. First of all, the wait; it was just sooo long. I understand it was around noon on a Sunday, but honestly it was excessive. They first told us it was a 45-minute wait, which we were absolutely fine with. We tried to walk around and stuff, but every time we would return to ask, they kept saying it was not yet our turn. I mean, it was overcrowded so I saw their point, right? Still, it was a freezing November day and it became uncomfortable really fast. Ultimately we waited for one hour and thirty minutes before we got seated. The hosts were really gracious about it and nice, but I was over it at that point. By the time we sat down, they had run out of chocolate so most of the beverages we wanted were not available. No mocha or latte etc. Remember, we had been in the freezing weather so we really needed something hot. Then at some point there was a dirty glass cup on our table. Yeah that was a mess. And have I mentioned how crowded and NOISY it was?
Hmm that sounds stressful. Would you return though?
I don't know, really. I did like the food but I can't justify that wait time and that noise, whew.
Thanks Abby!
Well there you have it folks: Cafe Lift in Philadelphia. If you are ever there, and can stand a long wait and crowd, perhaps, you would check it out? If you ever do, please let me know and send some pictures, of course! Haha. Now enjoy some more food pictures!
Love,
I
The first person is Abby, who had brunch somewhere in Philadelphia while traveling.
Hi there! Welcome. So tell us, where did you have this food in Philly, what restaurant?
Hi Ife. Thank you for having me. It was at Cafe Lift on N 13th street.
How did you hear about it? Or are you are frequent visitor there?
Nope. It was my very first time, and I found it by Googling, really. I just searched for a brunch place and it looked like the nicest option I found.
So... spill the beans (pun intended). What did you like about it?
The food, definitely! It was really nice and I was not disappointed. The ambience was also fantastic! There was something about the vibe, I'm not really sure how to describe it. Both inside and outside looked very nice. There was also parking available. It was a weekend so we didn't have to pay for parking. I had avocado toast with runny eggs and it was REALLY good. Someone else in my party had French toast and, another had pancakes. I'm pretty sure everyone was very satisfied with their food. So that was good. It was also very affordable, with meals ranging from $9 to $15 or thereabout. There was also wide range of options on the menu.
What did you not like about it?
Hmm several things to be honest. First of all, the wait; it was just sooo long. I understand it was around noon on a Sunday, but honestly it was excessive. They first told us it was a 45-minute wait, which we were absolutely fine with. We tried to walk around and stuff, but every time we would return to ask, they kept saying it was not yet our turn. I mean, it was overcrowded so I saw their point, right? Still, it was a freezing November day and it became uncomfortable really fast. Ultimately we waited for one hour and thirty minutes before we got seated. The hosts were really gracious about it and nice, but I was over it at that point. By the time we sat down, they had run out of chocolate so most of the beverages we wanted were not available. No mocha or latte etc. Remember, we had been in the freezing weather so we really needed something hot. Then at some point there was a dirty glass cup on our table. Yeah that was a mess. And have I mentioned how crowded and NOISY it was?
Hmm that sounds stressful. Would you return though?
I don't know, really. I did like the food but I can't justify that wait time and that noise, whew.
Thanks Abby!
Well there you have it folks: Cafe Lift in Philadelphia. If you are ever there, and can stand a long wait and crowd, perhaps, you would check it out? If you ever do, please let me know and send some pictures, of course! Haha. Now enjoy some more food pictures!
Love,
I
The Danger of Lying And More
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Thanks to some random (and insignificant) happenings coupled with the kind of reflection that only happens at the end of the year, I have been thinking a lot about lying and its effects on interpersonal relationships, not to mention how hurtful it can be. I usually joke that the thing the white people hate being called the most (after racist) is "liar". But it's true; people flare up and turn red when you imply they just lied. But they lie anyway. Just like people are racist anyway. But petty lies have become even more irritating than usual. Why do people lie? Why are people so deceptive even when the circumstance does not warrant it? The thing about lying is that it is a breach of trust. When you lie to someone, you are breaching their trust. In that sense, a person's trust can be likened to a brick or a rock that each lie chips off pieces from. This is why no matter how many apologies you give after being caught red handed in a lie, often times the trust can never be restored.
I think it irks me even more because I am a fairly straightforward person and I can be fiercely loyal too, and in a world where most people are anything but straightforward, you can see how maddening this is. I think this is why if you absolutely can, you should try not to lie to people that you care about. I'm not naive: there are some situations that warrant you lying, probably to protect the person you are lying to. I understand that. But most cases, people lie to save their own asses or to be manipulative or to take advantage of your friendship; not anything noble.
Just stop lying.
Or don't.
Whatever.
On a lighter note, Merry Christmas! I hope you had an amazing day? And if not, that's fine too. It mattered a lot to me to share on my Instagram, especially among all the very cute family pictures being posted (mine included 😁) that if yesterday was hard, know that it really is just a day. If you have a difficult relationship with your family, or perhaps you had to spend Christmas without a loved one, or you are going through a rough break-up, or any other form of hardship, you will survive. Honestly, it is just a day of the 365 in a year. I think we will be okay.
I was especially thinking about kids at the border detention centers covered in tinfoils and separated from their mommies and daddies, and the amount of hurt in their little hearts. I am hoping 2020 is the year that we do better for those kids, one way or another.
Oh yes, my holiday read is "Children of Blood and Bone". I just said on Instagram that while the author's art of storytelling is genius and she is of course a brilliant writer, something does not sit right with me: this is either because of the genre OR because you can tell she carefully crafted the book with the intention (or desire) that it would be made into a movie. Something just feels somehow...I can't be more specific because I don't know dammit Lol. But she is not just black, she is Nigerian, so yes we will be supporting her hahaha.
How is it that I have blogged more in the month of December than the entire year hahaha?
Anyway, just in case I'm not back here before 2020 (!), have a great rest of the year.
Love,
I
I think it irks me even more because I am a fairly straightforward person and I can be fiercely loyal too, and in a world where most people are anything but straightforward, you can see how maddening this is. I think this is why if you absolutely can, you should try not to lie to people that you care about. I'm not naive: there are some situations that warrant you lying, probably to protect the person you are lying to. I understand that. But most cases, people lie to save their own asses or to be manipulative or to take advantage of your friendship; not anything noble.
Just stop lying.
Or don't.
Whatever.
On a lighter note, Merry Christmas! I hope you had an amazing day? And if not, that's fine too. It mattered a lot to me to share on my Instagram, especially among all the very cute family pictures being posted (mine included 😁) that if yesterday was hard, know that it really is just a day. If you have a difficult relationship with your family, or perhaps you had to spend Christmas without a loved one, or you are going through a rough break-up, or any other form of hardship, you will survive. Honestly, it is just a day of the 365 in a year. I think we will be okay.
I was especially thinking about kids at the border detention centers covered in tinfoils and separated from their mommies and daddies, and the amount of hurt in their little hearts. I am hoping 2020 is the year that we do better for those kids, one way or another.
Oh yes, my holiday read is "Children of Blood and Bone". I just said on Instagram that while the author's art of storytelling is genius and she is of course a brilliant writer, something does not sit right with me: this is either because of the genre OR because you can tell she carefully crafted the book with the intention (or desire) that it would be made into a movie. Something just feels somehow...I can't be more specific because I don't know dammit Lol. But she is not just black, she is Nigerian, so yes we will be supporting her hahaha.
How is it that I have blogged more in the month of December than the entire year hahaha?
Anyway, just in case I'm not back here before 2020 (!), have a great rest of the year.
Love,
I
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