We Can't Breathe: Because Racism is Built into the DNA of America

So far, I think I have curated this blog such that I don't immediately respond or react to every incident or news or event. It's an approach I am attempting to take towards my real life too: pause, think, reflect, then respond. Reasons for this are both practical (because it would be hard to keep up with everything) and wise (because patience is always a virtue). Yet, for the first time the silence is not necessarily born out of that idea. This time it is born out of fatigue. Out of exhaustion. Out of saying the same thing over and over and over with no change.

I suppose every generation has its moments of reckoning in history. And if the events of the past few days are an indication of anything, it is that perhaps this is ours. So fatigue or no, exhaustion or no, I have to wield the one weapon I have and believe in: words. One way or another, I have to speak, whether it reaches just one person or thousands. Because there comes a time in a person's life where you have to take a stand. You have to ask yourself if you  are a feckless wimp who cares more about order than justice and who is always "neutral", lukewarm, and lacking in opinion; Or if you have a spine to speak up of for justice, for equity, and for fairness in your little corner of your world. I'm the true daughter of my mother and father so I am the latter.  I choose to be the latter.



Let's recap, shall we? Breonna Taylor's brutal murder, Ahmaud Arbery's despicable murder, Amy Cooper aka Central Park Karen putting up an award winning performance whereby she weaponizes her whiteness, and of course, George Floyd's heartless murder.  They all happened in less than six months. Week after week after week, it was one hashtag after the other. To say Black people suffer the grossest injustice, the worst forms of prejudice, racism, systemic oppression, and just blatant disrespect would be the greatest understatement of the year. But none of this is new.

We are tired. We are exhausted. We are suffocating. 

There is something I always like to say. We often think that as a collective group of people, as human beings, we are inherently good; we think there is a lot of good in people.  Except that, kneeling and quite literally snuffing the life out of your fellow human being in the full glare of others should jolt you out of that naive thinking into reality.  The worst part  is that it took us all bringing the fire on social media for them to even arrest the guy. Arrest. People of God, Breonna Taylor's murderers are still roaming free. My people have a saying that loosely translates to if you keep pushing and pushing a dog till it gets to a wall, at some point, it would turn back to face you.  Ladies and gentlemen, Black folks HAVE turned back.

"I learned a long time ago that when change happens, it's either because people see the light or they feel the fire. We are lifting up these stories in the hopes that you will see the light and if you don't, we will bring the fire." - Ayanna Pressley

For so long, Black people complained. We protested. We knelt down. We prayed. We sang. In more ways than one,  we were told it's all in our heads. But what the events of the last few weeks have shown so clearly is that there is a problem. The status quo has failed us in more ways than I can count. Something has to change. Let's take a look at the pandemic that has ravaged our midst since the beginning of this year. When COVID-19 struck, it was first purported to be the great equalizer. False. It has disproportionately ravaged Black people in the U.S. both in terms of our health and financial security. In fact, in a place like Kansas, Black folks were dying from COVID at seven times the rate of White residents. COVID-19 exposed the structural inequalities in our health system.

When signs showed that the curve was flattening a little, there was an outcry to be let out. People started to complain about wanting to go out. The people least likely to die from the virus were the ones itching to go out the most so that they could dine again, travel, get a haircut. Meanwhile, the poorer and more vulnerable are still left without adequate social safety nets, without health insurance. So White people went out, protested, they bore arms, they assaulted police, they provoked the police and there was no response. None of them was killed. The president called them "good people".  No one touched them during their ridiculousness called protests. They didn't care that people were dying. As long as they are fine. As long as they get to brunch. And do block parties. They did not care. They wanted to go back to normal. But normal was never good. Normal is where black people face police brutality. Normal is where a Black man can be hunted and gunned down like a wild animal for jogging. Normal is where a Black woman can be shot for being inside her house and literally minding her business. Normal is where the very people charged to protect us harass us. Normal is a disaster.

Normal is centuries of injustice. Normal is where in Twin Cities, Minnesota, decades of government policy continually benefitted White families and harmed Black ones. When they built an interstate highway in the 1950s in the region, White neighborhoods weren't touched but Black ones were tore up in ways that destroyed Black social centers, churches, and clubs. Normal is where rich men profit off the criminalization of Black men. Normal is where Black men and women get lynched on camera. Normal is not good.

"You do not take a person who, for years, has been hobbled by chains and liberate him, bring him up to the starting line of a race and then say, 'you are free to compete with all others' and still justly believe that you have been completely fair. Thus, it is not just enough to open the gates of opportunity. All our citizens must have the ability to walk through these gates." - Lyndon Johnson

This is is not some abstract issue. It's not  some theoretical concept that can't be grasped. I'm an academic, who ironically doesn't enjoy theory as much. I love data. I love evidence. I love impact. It is how I know without a doubt that we can fix this. We can enact reforms and policies that benefit Black folks and treats us as EQUAL. We can create a society where Black people have health insurance. We can stop the school to prison pipeline. We can ensure that Black men and women get a fair trial.  We can agree that there is an imbalance in the world when Black folks are rotting away in prison for petty marijuana—the same marijuana that White people smoke when they get bored on a Friday night just to sound cool. We can enforce policies to protect Black people. We can make sure we train the police to be sensitive to the communities they seek to protect. We can make sure when police hears "I can't breathe", they take our word for it. And when they don't take our word for it, when they kill us, throw them into a hole so deep, the father of the correctional officer that will eventually let them out of their cell has not even been born. Most of all, we can design our society so that it reflects an EQUAL society. We are equal before God.

"Racism is built into the DNA of America" - Annalise Keating.

The research tells us, the evidence shows that the police departments that get more military grade weapons kill more people. Indeed, holding police directly accountable leads to less police brutality. Data on use of force, complaints, and lawsuits can predict officers more likely to shoot someone next. Investigate police departments more. Invest in alternatives to policing as crime prevention strategies. Change IS possible. Here is more research where that came from.  These are tangible, actionable things we can demand from our leaders.

This means we have work to do. You and I. You think peace is when there is no protest? Wrong. Peace is when there is justice. We cannot gloss over injustice for the sake of unity.  Everyone keeps yapping about MLK and pEaCeFuL pRoTeSt forgetting that they still KILLED him. Colin Kaepernick kneeled, just kneeled, he has been out of a job for a while. Sometimes we need anger. Some of the greatest revolutions were fueled by anger. I am not condoning or encouraging looting in any form; I am saying in the words of MLK, riots are the voice of the unheard. I'm saying something HAS to give. I will say though, that I know we must not destroy our own communities because those racist fascists don't care about us. We must preserve the sanctity of our community. However, as a society, we have refused at all cost to make our society work for ALL of us. And for as long as we allow this, there will always be a virus among us.

As for religious leaders, as for hypocritical so-called Evangelicals:

"What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you pharisees
Hypocrites! 
For you are careful to tithe event he tiniest income from your herb gardens
but you ignore the most important aspects of the law – justice, mercy, and faith"
- Matthew 23: 23

Make no mistake, if you are quiet in the face of injustice, if you are neutral, you have chosen a side – the oppressor's. So choose that side with "your chest", you racist, feckless piece of trash.

We can agree that leaders that use segregationist terms about "looting and shooting" are despicable. So again, you and I have work to do. Not only are we voting at all levels, we are getting involved. I have presented some of the evidence for doing so right above. We will demand that our elected leaders do right by us. If this post reads like I am angry, it is because I am furious. I hope you are too. Because if you are not, then you are not paying attention.

Black lives matter

I will end with this. If I know you and see you get in the way of Joe Biden's win. I WILL come for you. I wholeheartedly mean this. I stanned so hard for Warren. And I will always be pissed she is  not going to be president. But I am also an adult and in times of trouble, adults don't whine. they get in line. Adults show up. So not only are we voting out "gangster fascists", we are actively getting Joe to the finish line. And I know, I know that a lot of the change we need in terms of racial inequalities stem from local level [elected] officials but I argue that we also need a respectable center. We need leaders that can empathize and unite us and champion the rights of Black folks. So, we will use our God-given skills and society-given privileges to get the change we need. Because you will think of Carlos Vasquez, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery. You will think of the more than 100,000 thousand lives we lost to the pandemic. Because you will be revolted by the disgusting corruption, the perversion of our institutions and that Office, and you will put your personal and selfish desires aside and decide that we cannot under any circumstances have four more years of this.

We will bring the fire.

Love, justice, anger, peace,

I



Friday Reflections

1.) Whew. What is our world now? What is this injustice so pervasive in our society and what role can each of us play in it? Please think careful about how YOU can contribute to a fairer world.

2.) I've been a little quiet about all of this craziness because honestly, I am FURIOUS. I am angry and I am very, very exhausted. But we must continue to bring the light.

3.) I want you to know though, that God is a God of justice.

4.) That said, I feel like I should sprinkle some joy on cyber space, which is needed desperately today.  Or at the very least, some distraction. So here goes.




5.) Elaine Welteroth got married on her Brooklyn stoop because of COVID-19, then threw a virtual block party. There was something so organic about these pictures. It did not feel forced at all; their love, I mean.

6.) Why more Christians need therapy.

7.) This brilliant profile of an incredibly brilliant genius who saved the Internet is a lesson on good, bad, evil, and moral complexity. Please please read it. It is a long but extremely worthy read.

8.) This enlightening video on The Financial Diet about debt, finances, and some insights on how little time women have.

9.) Gentle reminder that just because you are angry or tired of a virus does not mean it automatically disappears.

10.) How to Get Away With Murder had its series finale two weeks ago. I gotta say, as far as series finales go, that was one of the best I've every seen. They neatly wrapped up every character's storyline in a befitting manner. Boy, will I miss Viola Davis on TV and the fire she always brings. That woman has RANGE.

11.) Series creator, Pete Nowalk reflects on the legacy of the show

12.) The "just stay at home" message will apparently backfire.

13.) That's it folks. Remember these two sayings by MLK: we must never ever keep silent in the face of injustice because then we would have chosen the side of the oppressor. Just as well, remember that riot is the voice of the unheard.

Love, peace, and justice,

I

How to Write Your PhD or Graduate School Application Essay and Statement of Interest

Fall is approaching and this means graduate school applications will soon begin to open up.  And one of the most important aspect of your application is your statement of interest or statement of purpose or personal essay or application essay, whatever you want to call it. No matter what field you are in, you absolutely are required to write one. It allows admission committees to better understand your background and interests. Plus they would be able to tell if you are even a good match for their program. And yes, I know, I know, there are tons of advice on this all over Al Gore's Internet. But I wanted to write something practical and straightforward or at least give some tips on writing one. It can be very overwhelming to start out with an essay like this, but it's not impossible. Okay? Okay, let's go.




An Invincible Love Story

I was recently going through draft posts and I saw a post with these words:

Romans 8: 31-39

For when I share my testimony

They are from 2016. And honestly, I can't quite remember what the testimony is anymore. But I read those verses all over again and goodness, what a timely reminder. It's a reminder that if God could be so gracious as to give his beloved son to die for our sins then we can be certain he is for us. And if God is for us, then what can be against us?



The verses I especially want to highlight start from verse 35 where we are told that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. Not hardship, not anxiety, not trouble, not famine, not persecution can separate us from the immeasurable love God has for us.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.

The implication of this is that the fact that God loves us does not mean we won't go through challenges. It means that even through it, we can endure because of our confidence in God. It means God is right there with us through it all. This is why God's love must never be measured in the amount of material possessions a person has. Nothing on this earth, the chapter continues on to say, can ever separate us from our father's love. This kind of love is durable. It lasts long and passes through fire.

I recently saw a tweet that said something along the lines of, "do you ever fear you will never find love". This was an extremely weird question. Because first of all, you must have such a parochial definition of love to even entertain such a rubbish question. The earlier we can start broadening our view of love to know that love is not just derived from romantic partners, the better for us. Evidence from all of human history shows us romantic love is often the least durable. God shows us his love in a myriad of ways and through myriad of people. If you will accept it, there is a whole lot of love waiting for you. I like to think of God's love as invincible, durable, tenacious.

I feel like times of hardship can often make us feel like God has left us. And you are not alone in this; some of our favorite biblical characters felt abandoned by God at one point or the other. Even Jesus who was in on the plan to die for our sins (who was absolutely down for it) after the persecution and just physical hardship he had to endure, at some point it felt like he had been abandoned and he cried out to God. So suffering, rejections, failure, joblessness, financial hardship, depression...none of this should make you feel like God hates you. While some of those things might be God pruning you or God saving you from something else, sometimes we might never know what they mean.

After a brief blogger existential crisis in the last post, this post was  meant to serve as a gentle reminder that you are infinitely loved and no amount of suffering can change that.

So there you have it, my testimony then and always.

Love,

I

Trying to Solve an Existential Crisis

It's been a while I've posted OG long form, freestyle, pure rambling, and just the type of words true to the style of the blog. So here we are. Day 2248940585 of Quarantine, my goodness, who would have thought? But we are here and no matter how tired we are, we should try to listen to the experts, the scientists, not some political doofus (this is not directed to any one political doofus. In fact, there are several of them across the globe now).

The first line of this post begs the question, what IS the style of this blog? I don't mean to be existential, but when you read about how to grow your blog (an increasingly tough feat in the world we live in now), the first thing they tell you is, have a niche. They say that to imply you must not be too broad; you must cater to one specific thing and only talk about it. Ha. That is quite literally impossible for me to do. No really, my brain does not have the capacity to only talk about one single thing for the rest of my life. So basically, pick food and only talk about food? Or only talk about hair? Nah. Or just talk about grad school? Or just talk about career? Or just social justice? Or perhaps feminism?  Or faith? Or worst of all, bore you endlessly about my personal life?



Perhaps, experts on things like this would tell you that's why your blog isn't mainstream or why it isn't growing fast enough. I don't know about that. I feel like it's increasingly difficult to capture people's attention. And can you blame folks? Why would anyone want to read something so long if they can watch a 20-second Tik Tok video? It's just the world we live in. That said, I will try to limit what I write about on this blog to the core themes of the blog. So far, the Instagram page has managed to do that and not be as all over the place as the blog.

At the core of it, I'm a storyteller. I like to tell stories. I like to write. To answer the aforementioned question, what is the style of this blog? Storytelling. No matter what it's about, the goal has always been that you leave feeling a little better than you came. Of course, if there's anything you'd like to see me write about, feel free to let me know in the comment section below or via email. And if I can, then absolutely, I will write about it.

So I hope you join me on this journey or if you have always been a part of it, then I hope you remain on this journey. And I hope you know that no matter what's happening out there in this crazy, crazy world, you are always welcome here.

Love,

I

Friday Reflections

1.) #JusticeforAhmaudArbery. It's so exhausting to constantly plead for justice and fight for our lives. But we must continue to bring the fire. We must never ever get numb, which is why I beg you to not share the video that dehumanizes Ahmaud like so. We can and must find a way to get justice for Ahmaud while preserving his dignity.

2.) Someone recently dropped a comment on a post I wrote FIVE years ago about how they especially relate to it during this pandemic. It was so heartfelt, and it blows my mind how much that particular post seems to resonate with people; it is one of the most read posts of ALL time on this blog. That kind of comment is why I don't think I will stop blogging/writing.

3.) Speaking of old posts, check out this post  on people watching haha. Also written five years ago. Man, I love doing this. It's about a little girl and her brother.

4.) Alright, enough nostalgia.

5.) Don't regret regret.

6.) Finding God's will for "not as prophetic" Christians.

7.) A divorce attorney on prenups, ugly money arguments, and what people don't know about divorce. I feel like every couple, or just everyone should listen to this. So so enlightening.

8.) Contrapoints is the only human being that can make me watch a  >1hr video on YouTube. And yes, it did take me a few days to complete. But so incredibly clever! Anyhoo, it's a brilliant summation on canceling and the cancel culture we find ourselves.

8.) How to (not) age gracefully on the the internet, according to Chelsea Fagan.

9.) Man, all the people who have lost their jobs. I have to say I like the classy way Airbnb's boss told members of staff they will have to let some people go. And the severance package also did not seem too bad at all.

10.) Okay, Covid, wrap it up!

11.) People, do me a favor, please. If you read a post on this blog you like and/or enjoy, pleaseeee share, share, share, share. It really helps and encourages me to keep blogging. Thanks very much.

Recipe of the Month: The Best Homemade Nandos Chicken Sandwich

Just because they have not opened outside does not mean we cannot talk about food, okay? Okay? LOL

I know how people (me included) hate how food bloggers tell unnecessary long details before sharing a recipe? Hahaha, I'm about to do that because unfortunately, this is not a food blog :-( I write, ok? That's what I do Lol. That said, you can just scroll all the way to the end for the recipe. I won't even take it personal.

Okay for the rest of us, gather around.

Is this a new segment? A new feature? Who knows. But like book of the month, this is recipe of the month. This was initially my sister's idea, which she gave me a LONG while ago but I never got around to actually implementing it but now that we are all stuck at home, what better time for this, huh? Basically, every month (or thereabout), I will feature a recipe I love or have recently enjoyed. I am not a cook type girl at all so know that it will not be some elaborate stuff. The recipe could be mine or maybe someone else's with my twist?  And by mine, I mean something I made myself not something I invented. Because really, to be fair, no one really invents a recipe. It's just passed from one person to another. So yeah. It might even be a snack.  I think I will make sure that for the most part, it's a tried and tested recipe before sharing. This is not completely new. I have shared food a lot on this blog: see for instance, this banana bread; also see Patricia the big bad bird. And of course we have a whole category dedicated to food on this blog too where we have talked about all kinds of food and restaurants.



Anyhoo, after all that has been said the recipe of this month is a homemade Nandos chicken sandwich. There is honestly not that much to say except that this will be the best homemade chicken sandwich you’ve ever had. I can promise you that. It’s relatively healthy, easy to make and delicious. It can be dinner, lunch, breakfast, brunch, or even a snack. Yeah, there are no rules anymore.

Before we get to pictures and some tricks and tips in making this, let me say I used a healthier dressing which I made by simply mixing plain greek yogurt with honey. I only really like sweet dressings and I wanted something somewhat healthier (than mayo). No measurement too, just eyeball yogurt and add enough honey to taste. Look, literally anyone can prepare this sandwich.

Alright let’s go! 

What you'll need:
Brioche bun (or any bread that makes you feel gooood)
Chicken breast (or any protein)
Carrots
Cabbage
Or in place of carrots and cabbage, just buy a packaged coleslaw from the grocery store
Salt
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Ginger powder
Dried pepper/Pepper flakes (optional)
1-2 tbsp of oil
Nando's Peri-Peri Sauce, Hot (optional)

The dressing:
Plain greek yogurt
Honey


First your chicken. Get chicken breast or any chicken you like or any form of protein and pat to dry. In a bowl that has the chicken, add some salt, onion powder, garlic powder, ginger powder or really any seasoning you have. Mix together. Since I wanted the Nandos flavor, I added some peri peri sauce (hot) but this step is completely optional. I also added dried pepper/pepper flakes (because I have a problem, again, this part is completely optional).



A part of me is tempted to research how to properly write recipes but I also want this to be accessible so let's go my way. Okay leave the now marinaded chicken to rest. After an hour,  heat up your stove and put a tablespoon (or two) of oil in a non-stick pan and place it on the stove. When it's hot, sear your chicken breast on both sides for about 2-4 minutes each, depending on how thick your chicken breast is. The thicker, the longer you should leave it. You will start to see it browning and some "griddle" marks. Yum. If after this you feel like it's not done, that's fine. Just place the pan with the chicken in the over for a few more minutes and it's done. If you are worried about your chicken breast being too dry, you can add a tbsp or two of water and a few drops of lemon juice. If you have a grill, then skip most of the above and just grill it directly.

When your chicken is done, you're practically done. Toast your bun.  Then slather some of the yogurt honey dressing on your toasted bun.




Place your chicken on one half of the bun.




Next, put some dressing in your coleslaw and mix well.Then put the creamy coleslaw on top of the chicken.



Then place the second half of the bun on the coleslaw. Et voila! Chicken sandwich done.



See? Easy peasy. Let me know if you tried it, please. Oh and if you liked this post, please share, share, share.

Thank you!

Love,

I