Book of the Month: Come and Get It by Kiley Reid

This was supposed to go out yesterday! But I completely forgot. Never mind, it's still Book of October. We'll get another Book of the Month in November: and this is a promise. Okay, welcome, folks, to Book of the Month. It's actually so crazy the year is about to end or maybe not because people, it has been a long year. I rarely get personal on here and I'm wishing I did because at least I could launch into how crazy this year has been. Yeah.


Anyway, the book of this month is Come and Get It by Kiley Reid, the same author who wrote the masterpiece, Such a Fun Age. To say that I loved that book would be an understatement so with that inherent trust for the author, I went into this one blindly, with no knowledge whatsoever what the book was about.


At about page 15 of this book, a Black girl (the daughter of a professor) overhead her a group of white girls refer to her as “ghetto.” And she found this so hilarious, so ridiculous. I chuckled and said out loud literally, “ah I’m going to like this book.” And like it I did.




Why America's Past is Prologue: The Poison of Hate and Justice Defies Time

If care isn't taken, past becomes prologue was all I thought about as I read Rachel Maddow's Prequel. I have talked about it briefly before during a book of the month  and promised to return to discuss it. It's almost eerie to read about this within our reality in America today. If care isn't taken past becomes prologue. If someone would have told me that America's institutions could be so pushed beyond its limits, I would roll my eyes at them. I wouldn't completely dismiss them because I, of all people, should know how fragile democracy is and can be. I was always so sure America's was not as durable as Americans believed but I never realized the extent to which it was weak and vulnerable. 





What Rachel Maddow's Prequel teaches is that none of this is new. In a very twisted way, it almost encourages me that we will survive this era. But then was it as rotten as it currently is? Every single branch of our government is compromised and we have ourselves to blame. When you elect someone who is a convicted felon to the highest office of the land, you must know he will infect that office and all it stands for with his rot. Maddow makes the case that because America has previously fought tenaciously against fascism, we can be sure to win contemporary iterations of this same fight. When I first started reading, somehow, it gave me faith (and Lord knows this is few and far in between nowadays). During the course of my reading this, America swore in its 47th president. Within one week of this administration, we saw a roll back in democratic principles like never before imagined: DOJ staffers that worked with Jack Smith fired, Inspector Generals fired without due course; the heard of the National Labor Relations Board, also fired; a sweeping desecration of the federal civil service; the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics was also fired because they released job numbers the president didn't like; the President fired Kennedy Center's leadership and named himself as the lead; the President deployed [and is planning to deploy more of] the National Guard to cities that voted Blue; the President is taking election advice from a former KGB agent and now ruthless dictator, Putin, to name a few. This is discounting how the wealthiest in our nations have assumed power. I say this to say I disagree with this core premise of Rachel Maddow's argument. My confidence in our institutions are terribly shaken and I fear that our institutions will not survive unscathed, if at all they survive. 


"The fight here at home in the 1930s and 1940s is a story of American politics at the edge: a violent, ultra-right authoritarian movement, weirdly infatuated with foreign dictatorships, with detailed plans to overthrow the U.S. government, and even with former American military officers who stood ready to lead. Their most audacious plan called for mounting hundreds of simultaneous armed attacks on U.S. government targets..."


What Prequel shows us that even the mechanisms are the same. During the Second World War, the German government and its agents in the United States funded a propaganda machine like never before to divide Americans, knowing that what is divided can never stand. Joseph Goebbels announced at the Nazi Party Congress in 1936, "propaganda helped us to power. Propaganda kept us in power. Propaganda will help us conquer the world." They understood their enemies in ways that can never be overstated. They knew that the best way to destroy America was from within, was to orchestrate a machinery so destructive, America would have no choice but implode. Hitler said, "our strategy is to destroy the enemy from within, to conquer him through himself." And they did just that. They spared no expense when it came to infiltrating the public and their big weapon was the media. Their agents paid myriad of publications whose editors and publishers then help consolidate a mailing lists of Americans to the tune of millions of people. They also funded radio stations with the same message.


If it sounds familiar, it's because yet again for the past few years, mis/disinformation has become the biggest threat to humanity. Whether it's launching campaigns to sabotage public health during a once in a lifetime pandemic or it is flooding our algorithms so that a person can further spiral in their self-perpetuating echo chamber of confirmation bias loop or infiltrating money in politics so that candidates who erode freedom, democracy, and unity can win...it is a fight for humanity's survival. I am not exaggerating. They know that once we are divided we will never stand. For as long as we refuse to see how much more we the masses have in common than the oligarchs, for as long as we refuse to hold the powers that be accountable, for as long as we appeal to the lowest common denominator among as, for as long as we are blinded by hate and bigotry, the machinery of tyranny, or warmongering, of cruelty will win.


The insidiousness, the poison of racism and oppression and injustice defies time. When Theodore Roosevelt became president, he  apparently was super passionate about one thing: eradicating "race suicide." What is race suicide, you ask? He was angry that White Americans were mixing their genes too freely with other folks, inviting this "race suicide." He wanted white women to have more 100 percent pure white babies. "Warfare of the cradle is fundamentally infinitely more important than any other question in this country," Teddy Roosevelt said. Maddow argues Teddy was not alone in this. Abraham Lincoln also expressed hopes that all people of "African descent living in the United States would one day be shipped overseas."  Teddy held the opinion that the two races, equally free, cannot live in the same government. Woodrow Wilson in 1913, resegregated the federal workforce by law, and purged Black Americans from the best and best-paying government jobs. Calvin Coolidge in 1924 signed radical restrictions on immigration  because such restrictions where the first step in walling off white America from the "vicious, the weak of the body, the shiftless or the improvident whom you could identify by nationality and skin color. These are racial considerations too grave to be brushed aside for any sentimental reasons."


That is the foundation of this country. That is the premise that so many Americans idolize. That is the America they want to go back to. The greatness they see when they envision America.  


It is no longer enough to just scroll through tweets or absentmindedly. We must equip ourselves with knowledge. We must go seeking history to understand the foundations of evil in the world we live in. So for my Nigerian brothers and sisters who are consumed with people's sexuality and want to see a world where that is legislated. Here is what I will never stop reminding people: hate is indiscriminate. You can't parcel it. It's not a la carte. If someone hates gay people, they almost always hate us Black folks too. And women. And immigrant. It is a package deal. Hate is also senseless. Because how do you explain that the U.S. Supreme Court once held that Puerto Ricans were "foreign to the United States in a domestic sense." Does that make any sense?


"One big appeal of fascism, if nothing else, was its unapologetic embrace of cruelty. Cruelty toward others, coupled with hypersensitivity towards any slide to oneself."


When you read Maddow's book, what stands out are the Americans who decided BY ALL MEANS possible to stop fascism.  There are people fighting now too. Just as in the 1940s, there are smart, courageous, tenacious, self-sacrificing Americans fighting hard to stop fascism, cruelty, and hate in its tracks. Will you join them? In 2023, Freedom House reported that almost 2/3 of the word was governed under some form of authoritarian rule. It would be naive to think we are exempt from this disease. Rachel Maddow's book is a must read and yet I fear we are too late. She sounds an alarm too many people have tuned out. Why do we not care who runs our societies? Why do we allow a few powerful wealthy fascists have all the control, while we fold our arms and shrug? Why?


I wish I had clear cut answers for you. I wish I could lay it down so easily. I can't. I know we can fight and we can resist. I know we must not give up. I know it's a long, arduous journey. I know we will survive. I just don't know the simple, easy answer. I don't know why evil seems to triumph over good. I don't know why it seems like the wicked enjoy a life of ease. But God sees all.


At the end of Prequel, Rachel Maddow gives a quick account of the aftermath of the most disgusting fascists and bigots who spent their time fueling hate and propaganda to divide Americans and who were dogged in their commitment to fascism in America. One was jailed and when he got out his wife had left him and sold all his earthly possessions (donating the proceeds to Jewish and Catholic refugee groups) and when he died, despite his professional accomplishment his obituary merely referred to him as a "white supremacist and antisemite." It got even more pathetic as she relayed their accounts. God cannot be mocked. What you sow, you will reap.


Love,


I

From Temi Otedola to Taylor Swift: Our Dangerous Obsession with the Rich

Over the past couple of weeks or so, it came out that Otedola's daughter, Temi Otedola, had gotten married to Nigerian musician, Mr. Eazi. Honestly,  that's really all you need to know about this whole thing. The pictures were on Vogue. Of course, I did not actually go to the website (nor did I do so even now as I link for you all) because I did not care. I saw the photos everywhere else. They looked elegant and beautiful and expensive, I said to myself and kept it moving. That should be all, right? Wrong. Then came the deep-dives, the analysis, the obsession, the comparisons, the "ahhhh this life, JUST HAVE MONEY" comments. Or "THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT." Or "Ahh why am I poor." Or "is this how I will die in Abule Ijesha?" The last one was, in fact, a real comment. I did not make that up. 




Book of the Month: Help Wanted by Adelle Waldman

Welcome to another book of the month on the very last day of the month! The book of this month is Help Wanted by Adelle Waldman. It’s a book about a group of employees working at a retail store in a small and declining town in upstate New York. The novel focuses on members of the Movement team, who resume at 3:55am every morning to unload trucks, stock shelves, and deal with an odd, self-conceited boss. Through the course of telling this story, we meet a cast of characters: from the ex-convict seeking redemption to the girl who’s holding on to the faded glory of being a “cool kid” in high school to the older lady who’s literally too old for this mess, among others.  When a rare opportunity for a promotion presents itself, this divergent group of people must work together to engineer an outcome for their own goal(s). They do this through surmounting personal hurdles, navigate cliché and irritating corporate structures, and the frustration of low-wage work.




Friday Reflections

1.) The Church doesn't talk enough about greed and the evil that come from money.


2.) At 90, Wole Soyinka visits his younger, more optimistic self.


3.) A writer's quest to find the con artist (Yahoo Boy) who duped his mother.




What's in a Legacy? On Life and How We Want to Be Remembered

What is in a legacy?


How do you want to be remembered? 


Everyone's heard it now: Charlie Kirk was brutally murdered on Wednesday, September 10. And events that followed will probably be stuff worthy of history's retelling. However you feel about him and his murder is one of the more contentious issues of this week (month? year?). I will leave that to you.


In hours that followed when he was first killed, people took to social media and expressed all kinds of things. As with most things that are the rave, I wanted to stay out of this one. I just vehemently believe that one does not need to have an opinion about everything. Then I saw too many people, Nigerians especially (some of whom I even respect), glorify an idea that was at best incomplete and at worst a complete lie. 


Too often, lies speed, jump, hop, but truth just comes crawling behind and it's left to us to push it a little. So I wrote the below.




Some Books I Read...

Hiya folks! Welcome to another post about books. I'll be posting a bunch of notable books I read recently below. Enjoy! 




Book of the Month: Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler

Welcome to another book of the month! We're going all the way back for the book of this month; talk about an oldie but goodie. I love when a book tugs deep into our hearts and reminds us of our humanity, but not through something profound but in the ordinary, in the normal.  This is an amazing story of sacrifice, quiet devotion, love, and ordinariness. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The Book of the Month is Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler. I'm a little new to her work but completely blown away so much I just want to consume everything she's ever written. 


Saint Maybe is set in 1965 when the Beldoe family is living an idyllic, quintessential American life in Baltimore before they are struck with a tragedy that transforms their existence forever; but especially the life of their youngest son, 17-year old Ian Bedloe, who assumes the blame for this tragic event. Even as I type this and remember him, my heart breaks just a little again. That's what fiction does. It expands your heart and show you realities you never knew existed. In any case, we follow through Ian through a great chunk of this life (several decades, I believe) as he tries to redeem himself. Through the process watch the Bedloes transform from their nauseously happy status quo to dealing with extraordinary calamities. The New York Times said Anne Tyler likes to break America's heart. They weren't wrong.




The Myth of Being 'Too Late' in Life

 This post is inspired by another post I saw on a Mommy Page on Instagram. The poster said:


"I turn 40 today and instead of feeling joyful, I find myself feeling a little wistful. I didn't get married early and now here I am, caring for a toddler and a newborn at a time when many of my mates are hitting different life milestones. While I'm grateful for my journey, there are moments I feel like I should be in a different space by now...pursuing something more. It's hard sometimes, doing motherhood alongside women in their late 20s or early 30s. I celebrate them, of course, but if I'm being honest, it messes with my mind. I question whether I'm behind in life. I know every journey is different but today I just need to hear from other mums. Can anyone share some words of encouragement with me?"


When I first saw this, perhaps it was being stuck at the airport somewhere in Europe, almost missing my connecting flight, but I was just incensed. I went back to read it a few days after and while I empathized a bit more, I still had strong feelings about it.




Friday Reflections

1.) Friday greetings to all! Let's get into it.


2.) Republicans have serious daddy issues and it's kind of odd to watch. 


No reason for a Fall photo in the thick of summer except I just like how it looks quiet

Book of the Month: The Wedding People by Alison Epsach

Hi party people (very apropos for this post), welcome to another Book of the Month! This month's book is such a delight, I'm eager to get into it directly. I went into this clueless about what the book was about and it turned into such a complex, unexpected, and beautiful story. When we meet Phoebe, she's walking into the Cornwall Inn, wearing a green dress and some fancy shoes but no luggage in sight. As she joins the line to check in, she is immediately mistaken for one of the guests at a wedding happening at the hotel. Meanwhile, she's literally the only one at the hotel (this was just coming out of the pandemic) who isn't there for the wedding. The bride thinks she's accounted for every possible mishap and disaster, except there is no planning for Phoebe, who has reached rock bottom and is at that hotel for completely different reasons from the wedding people. And yet somehow, as if always destined, the two women are exactly where they need to be and just when each needs the other. The book takes us through what happens over the course of the week in what is a funny, tender, complex, and very human story arc. 




"My Boyfriend Hates My Hair, What Should I do?": On Black Womanhood and Hair as Resistance

Y'all, we got published! 


I can't believe I am just posting about this here but life happens.  I wrote an essay for The Progressive Magazine; not surprisingly I wrote about feminism and hair, two things I love! 


I wrote about Feminism, and how important it is to remind every little girl you know that changing who she is or “making sacrifices” for a boy is not what God intended for her.


I wrote about hair. But not in the way you think. 


I had read about this little girl whose boyfriend “hates her hair.” Each time I have to type out these words, I throw up a little in my mouth. In any case, I give Kamsi an answer to the question she asked. But before that, I try to provide a bit more context for her so she sees what damage patriarchy has done. I remind her she’s fighting against not just her silly, little boyfriend, but an entire system designed to remind us Black girls that left to them, we would never be enough. So, we must NEVER leave it to them.


Here is the full essay, as published on The Progressive below:

Friday Reflections

1.) Is this the first Friday Reflections of the year? Oh jeez...I just checked and yes, it is. Well, better late than never. 


2,) Female 4-star GENERALS and ADMIRALS talk about their formidable rise in the military.


3.) The most hated person on wall street.


4.) In Good American Family, Ellen Pompeo leaves the hospital. 




In Defense of Church

On a The View  episode over a year ago, there was a conversation about the rise in senseless shooting in America. This past week alone, there were two mass shootings. Knowing this country as well as I think I do, I have a feeling there will be more posts on this blog about the senselessness of guns so buckle up. It's a hard conversation, not because there is no solution (it's a very very easy solution at that), but because we are afraid. Afraid of sending our kids to school. Afraid of going to the mall. Or the grocery store. Or the club. Or the wrong house. Or the wrong driveway. Shoot, we are afraid to live, it looks like. But conversation for another time. 


In the panel discussion I reference above, Sara Haines talked about the rise of porn, violent video games, and decrease in church attendance. She got a lot of flak for it in the comment section. I think it may have been because this requires a lot of nuance. It's not that she is wrong. Those things are problematic and destructive of people's minds all around. The real elephant in the room is that these things are happening in many other countries and yet, there are no mass shootings in those places. Which suggests that one problem we have is...guns. But a particular segment of our leaders has been bought and paid for by the ghoulish NRA. So, again conversation for another time.




A Hopeless Saturday Gives Way to a Joyous Sunday: What Easter Means to Me

I had a different post planned out for this week. But it's Easter. Well, Easter Monday in saner climes. In America, no one really cares. 


In any case, Happy Easter! 


I know Christmas is the big deal to everyone. But Easter is just as much of a big deal too. It's Easter!




Breaking Records, Breaking Chains: How Cory Booker's 25-Hour Speech Outlasted Hate

When Senator Booker started his quest to disrupt the Senate for "as long as I am physically able" one week ago, most people didn't pay him a lot of mind. After twenty-five hours, they didn't have a choice. Everyone was talking about it. What am I talking about? I'm talking about Cory Booker standing on the Senate floor for over twenty-five hours in a record breaking event. On Monday, March 31st, he took the Senate floor and began a speech condemning this current administration's cruel and inhumane policies. He did not sleep. He did not eat. He did not use the restroom.  In the end, It surpassed the previous record set in 1957 by segregationist Senator Strom Thurmond, who filibustered for 24 hours and 18 minutes to oppose the Civil Rights Act. So it was that Senator Booker started the speech at 7PM on Monday and told us he would use his time to disrupt the normal business of the U.S. Senate as long as he was physically able.  




Fight Fight Fight: Resisting Fascism and the Tyranny of Fear

Every time another policy is implemented or there is a rhetoric out there from America’s political right with a unique purpose to dehumanize people and strip them of their dignity, what angers me the most is that these people do it in the name of the Lord. It angers me to measures I can’t possibly describe. 


When I woke up in Nairobi on November 6, 2024, and saw this man won the election again, I was in disbelief. I was terrified. I knew of the impending danger. And yet, even I didn’t think it would be this despicable. In less than three weeks, they have unleashed terror like never before imagined. He has made himself king. He has put such cracks on the foundations of our democratic institutions that sometimes I pinch myself to ask if this is still America. All of this is done with an intention. So much so that I’ve seen people just give up. I’ve watched colleagues live with fear. I’ve seen people lose hope. Our Democratic elected leaders also took too much time to lick their wounds. Too many lives will be impacted. Too many people are confused. I didn’t understand either, why it seemed like evil was winning. Why it seemed like the wicked was prospering. Why it seemed like the wicked enjoyed a life of ease while the marginalized, the oppressed, the voiceless continued to suffer.



Book of the Month: Ask Again, Yes By Mary Beth Keane

Welcome to the Book of the Month! I asked last time about whether to talk about a few in one post or just one book per BOM post and it looks like the vote goes for a combination of both approaches. So, let's try that. I feel like knowing me there are some books I will feel so strongly about as to want to dedicate one post too, anyway. So this format works. And today's book feels like one of those books. 


Ask again, Yes starts with two NYPD cops, Francis Gleeson and Brian Stanhorpe. They eventually become neighbors in the suburbs and the peculiarities of what happens in each home one night sets the stage for explosive events that will ripple through generations. 




Some Books I Read

Happy New Year, friends! Book of the Month suffered last year; not just because I didn't read as much (I really didn't) but because I didn't talk about what I did read as much. I really enjoy books and talking about them and in the spirit of finding pockets of joy everywhere and especially outside of work, hopefully I'll be better at talking about books I read this year.


Towards the end of 2024, I posted about some books I read on Instagram and I thought to share them here, where they can be more permanent. So here goes (in no particular order):