On Resisting Gender-Based Violence

I honestly did not want to put out anything today. I've had such a long week and day, that I just want to curl up in a ball and re-watch episodes of West Wing on Netflix.

But I needed to talk about this, albeit briefly. And not to keep talking about gender as this isn't a gender based blog or anything, but this is now pandemic everywhere. It's domestic violence. Domestic violence has of course always been in existence. But current news suggest that for every step we take forward, we are taking another five backwards.

Mercy Aigbe's skull was bashed and she has been giving interviews explaining how her husband constantly pummeled her. There are also tons of pictures detailing the extreme physical abuse she went through, to in her words "keep her marriage".

Today, news broke that a South African babe was murdered and then set on fire by her boyfriend. Another was stabbed by her fiancé in Abuja. Yet another in the U.S embarked on a killing spree mission (although he thankfully was only able to take one life before taking his) in the name of his girlfriend.

Are these men mad?

Because I'm sick of telling women to leave, run, blah blah. First of all, statistics show that doesn't really help. Even after some women leave the abusive situation, the men still come after them to finish off what they started.

So I ask again: are these people mad?

Because it's high time we addressed the perpetrators of these heinous acts. If your partner is getting on your nerves, how about YOU leave? Instead of beating the poor woman eh? After all, these same raggedy men are able to control themselves when stopped by the police and are able to comport themselves when their bosses are irritating them. Or do you hear of men beating their bosses out of anger? How can you not extend the same self control to your wives/girlfriends?

I think the problem is mostly fundamental. Many men were raised with such entitlement that they can't bear the thought of  women not being subservient to them. While some people get high from excellence or a movie or whatever, some others need women to cower to get such high. So please start to teach your sons to use their words, not their fists, and to be kind and respectful.

Now we might be past all that for the grown men out there who are going about beating people. And the other grown ones who when they hear and see domestic abuse first think to ask the idiotic question: but what did she do? Or was she nagging him? Or of course he was angry

All of you in the category above need to get your behind hauled off to jails to deal with your match. As you can tell, I'm in no mood to sing kumbaya today. So we need the rule of law and good criminal justice systems to arrest violent domestic partners. No joke. People are out here committing murders and damaging skulls. At the very least, they should rot in jail for it.

Enough with the begging and pleading and "lobbying" for equality or against violence against women. It is actually being demanded now. No joke. Get in 2017 or be left behind.

Love, and solidarity,


P.S: Knowing myself, I will be back on this topic again when I have carefully formulated my thoughts. For now I just wanted to express my anger and disgust for the perpetrators; and my pity and love for the victims.

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